Soft play hell

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

I live near a small soft play which I take my 3 year old and baby to regularly as it's one of those soft plays that you can see your kid wherever they are and it's never super busy as it's quite small, it's very clean and the owner is lovely.
Today there was a lady with her 3 year old twin boys. She basically ignored them the whole time with her nose in her phone, except to give them each a mars bar which they then carried around the soft play smearing chocolate all over the place. Once high on sugar they were literally climbing the furniture (not soft play equipment) knocking over the hand gel stands and playing with the hand gel, throwing the soft play equipment at everyone, and taking over the baby are which is 2 and younger. They screamed at the top of their lungs the whole time! My head is banging. The only time mum looked up was to say 'pack it in' to them when they were playing with the hand gel.
I felt sorry for the people working there as the owner wasn't in and both were quite young and they didn't really know what to do. I had to tell the boys twice to be gentle in the baby area and stop the bringing in wheelie bugs into the baby area and snatching my son's own toy off him.
I really wanted to say something to the mum but honestly I didn't know what to say that wouldn't have got a very defensive reaction. What should I have said if anything? It's so frustrating as they ruined the experience today. Perhaps they had additional needs, I don't know, but that doesn't excuse mum just sitting there playing on her phone and failing to parent full stop. Grrrr

@girlmon21 must be just my kids then. My son would be hyper after one nibble. Easter day was horrendous after he had about 3 bites and he was jabbering and jumping around like a chimpanzee😅

[quote Higgeldypiggeldy35]@girlmon21 must be just my kids then. My son would be hyper after one nibble. Easter day was horrendous after he had about 3 bites and he was jabbering and jumping around like a chimpanzee😅[/quote]
That's a fantastic image

Vividly remember a strapping three year old whacking my smaller son a few times while the father read the paper and did nothing at all a few metres away. When I saw the child on top of mine, with his hands round his throat and strangling him, I ran up and told the boy to get off. He wouldn't so I had to take his arm and pull him off, to save my child from being throttled.

The father? He was furious. At me, for intervening and daring to touch his child, yelling at me non stop accusing me of bruising his son's arm (no bruise or mark visible). Staff had to intervene. Nasty aggressive bully - you could see where the child got it from.

@zoemum2006 how should I have helped exactly? I supervised her kids for her, telling them to be gentle, not to throw, to take out the wheelie bugs from the baby section etc. I think that goes above and beyond to be honest!

That was the worse soft play experience but in the end I learnt to take earplugs or headphones to drown out the shrill screaming and there was always one disinterested parent whose head was continuously in their phone while their child went round hurting others. I once drew the mother's attention to it, but she yelled at me. It seems to be part and parcel of soft play and toddler sessions; there will always be some piss poor parent who gets aggressive if anyone dares complain.

I would have said something if they were Interfearing with my child. Firstly I may have just said "oh no thank you" to the kids like when they took your sons toy then took it back, but if they did it more then once I'd have spoke to the mum. I don't agree with the mars bars at all. However the mum could have just been at the end of her test her. Her time on her phone could have been the only mental break she got that day and she may have really needed that time. Iv been known to tell my son to raid the snack cupboard as a bribe when I needed a break (altho ours is pretty healthy). Xx

@girlmom21 it was entertaining, for 10 mins. Took him to the barbers at 17.30 pm Friday because realised he has nursery photo this week and it was the only slot. Hairdresser gave him a mini marsbar for being good. The horror. At 17.30!!! Needless to say bedtime was not fun.

Teather** sorry typing with one hand as holding baby!

@myfavouritethingsandthen that sounds really scary. I feel sorry for the kids in that situation. If parents are aggressive in public, you can only guess what they're like behind closed doors.

I’m in two minds here. 3 year olds should be able to let off some steam in a soft play without a parent needing to be with them 24/7 but they shouldn’t have chocolate in there and should have been told to get out of the baby area if there were babies there.

If you have the sort of child that hits and can’t play sensibly then unfortunately you do need to be a bit more helicopter ish.

@gymohithoughtyousaidgin I get it when you need a break, that's why I took my kids to softay this morning because I was knackered after no sleep. And it's why my son is watching a Disney movie now so I can sit here on Mumsnet and have a cuppa, because I'm tired. I'm not winning parenting awards myself trust me. But I think it's poor to dump your kids in softplay and not keep an occasional eye on them.

If you do want to give your child sweets at least supervise the sugar high!

Why do people persist with this myth? There is no such thing as a sugar high. There is a bucketload of research that debunked the single study in the 70s which made up this bullshit.

@bunnycat101 I agree I love soft play for that reason because I know my 3 year old will sleep tonight as he's ran around for 2 hours. But her kids were climbing on the actual furniture and walls and pulling down the alcogel which if they ingested whilst not being supervised would have poisoned them. Luckily she did intervene at that point.

@Higgeldypiggeldy35

I’m glad you were able to help out.

I’ve known several mums of twins boys and they were on their knees when their kids were small. That break she had at soft play today might have made a massive difference to her ability to cope.

Sofy Play is one of those hell on earth places to be avoided. No excuse for this mum to let her brats run riot.

@boredzelda I don't know about any research but I do know that if I give my child a mars bar or any sweets, even raisins then he is bouncing around for ages afterwards 🤷

[quote Higgeldypiggeldy35]@boredzelda I don't know about any research but I do know that if I give my child a mars bar or any sweets, even raisins then he is bouncing around for ages afterwards 🤷[/quote]
He's excitable from the treat :)

I do know that if I give my child a mars bar or any sweets, even raisins then he is bouncing around for ages afterwards

Confirmation bias. You expect it therefore you pick that behaviour to focus on. I assume being a small child he bounces around a lot. It's what they do. You believe in a sugar high so expect to see it.

@zoemum2006 if that was her situation today then I hope she feels better, but honestly it wasn't my responsibility and it spoilt my morning, which may seem churlish and mean but I didn't go there to help out someone else. I went there because I was too tired after no sleep to want to entertain my old child. Lazy as that might sound haha

I'd judge the Mars bar. 230 calories in one snack for a 3 year old. And the damage to teeth.

I'd also judge turning a blind eye to 2 of my kids being a pita for other people. But some people think the entry fee means you also get free childcare.

@boredzelda I will agree to disagree with you. There's a difference in my child's behaviour between giving him some cheese or chopped veggies Vs cake, biscuits,sweets. I don't really care what the research shows.

I also wouldnt give my child a mars bar as a snack. Solidarity OP!

[quote Higgeldypiggeldy35]@boredzelda I don't know about any research but I do know that if I give my child a mars bar or any sweets, even raisins then he is bouncing around for ages afterwards 🤷[/quote]
Oh come on...

Sounds really horrible. Glad there were no soft play things when my children were youngies, and no phones either.. Its fairly common these days, to witness women glued to their phones, and ignoring what their children are up to. I have seen it quite a few times,in shopping precincts, where women might sit on a little wall, or bench, and always on a phone, and they have one, or a couple of young children running amok, some times running off into a shop doorway etc, the children are never on reigns.

@ohcarebearbaby oh come on what? This is my experience with MY child. And I'm sure many other parents will agree. Might not be the same for every child.