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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Soft play hell

123 replies

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 11:08

I live near a small soft play which I take my 3 year old and baby to regularly as it's one of those soft plays that you can see your kid wherever they are and it's never super busy as it's quite small, it's very clean and the owner is lovely.
Today there was a lady with her 3 year old twin boys. She basically ignored them the whole time with her nose in her phone, except to give them each a mars bar which they then carried around the soft play smearing chocolate all over the place. Once high on sugar they were literally climbing the furniture (not soft play equipment) knocking over the hand gel stands and playing with the hand gel, throwing the soft play equipment at everyone, and taking over the baby are which is 2 and younger. They screamed at the top of their lungs the whole time! My head is banging. The only time mum looked up was to say 'pack it in' to them when they were playing with the hand gel.
I felt sorry for the people working there as the owner wasn't in and both were quite young and they didn't really know what to do. I had to tell the boys twice to be gentle in the baby area and stop the bringing in wheelie bugs into the baby area and snatching my son's own toy off him.
I really wanted to say something to the mum but honestly I didn't know what to say that wouldn't have got a very defensive reaction. What should I have said if anything? It's so frustrating as they ruined the experience today. Perhaps they had additional needs, I don't know, but that doesn't excuse mum just sitting there playing on her phone and failing to parent full stop. Grrrr

OP posts:
Technosaurus · 25/10/2021 12:05

If she's got twins she's probably fucking knackered and just wanted some time to herself, I'd let her off zoning out at soft play

Yes it's annoying for you and yes you can tell the boys to stay out of the baby area, but you haven't got twins so definitely don't have a pop at the mother - looking after one is hard enough so anyone looking after two or more gets a lot of slack from me

Shuffleuplove · 25/10/2021 12:09

She’s got twins, screamy ones at that. She’s done bloody well just getting out of the house. Zip it, singleton number!

CocaColaTruck1 · 25/10/2021 12:14

Their kids in a soft play, their going to be wild.
Her head was probably done in so thought get them out to burn some energy and off her back for abit.
I wouldn't have said anything, and I think it's pretty poor to assume additional needs.

RussianSpy101 · 25/10/2021 12:14

You don’t know this woman’s circumstances at all. Don’t judge.

I remember taking my DD to soft play whilst both my parents were having emergency surgery after a car accident because I really couldn’t deal with entertaining her whilst I waited for news. I doubt I barely looked up and definitely bought her a fruit shoot and a chocolate bar to keep her going whilst I waited for news.

This is obviously not a day to day occurance, I’m just highlighting there may be a reason she isn’t interacting today.

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 12:14

So because she has twins she's allowed to not supervise at all? Bollocks to that. My best mate has twins and she would never allow her kids to run riot like that. Yes I bet she's knackered, as am I because my baby was up all night, but I still managed to supervise my other kid.

OP posts:
RussianSpy101 · 25/10/2021 12:15

Would you of mentioned they ate a snack if it was those vile carrot baby crisps things most mums love cus they’re organic.

RachelHasThoseInBurgundy · 25/10/2021 12:20

So because she has twins she's allowed to not supervise at all?

That’s doesn’t even make sense. Why would she not be allowed to supervise her children?

Sparklfairy · 25/10/2021 12:22

You don’t know this woman’s circumstances at all. Don’t judge.

I will never understand why "circumstances" give someone the right to abandon parenting and ruin days out for everyone else. Responsibilities and social etiquette don't stop because you're having a bad day.

Justgettingbye · 25/10/2021 12:23

Yanbu. The screaming is annoying but part of the deal but running around the baby part is irresponsible. Only a couple of months ago I was with my second baby in the baby bit and he made a crawling dash for it as some big kids ran in and they nearly trampled him. Fortunately the staff were good and told them to get out and went up to the parents and said they were going in the wrong bit.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 25/10/2021 12:23

@YourFinestPantaloons

Meh, not all of us are judgmental twerps who make sweeping statements like sHeS a BAd PErsOn, it's one snapshot of her day and getting wound up (or even noticing) about what another person feeds their kid is dickish. I'm pretty sure you have had less than perfect parenting moments OP, hopefully no one is sitting there judging you while you did 🤷‍♀️
Um, you're coming across as just a tad judgemental now, actually....
Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 12:24

@russianspy101 yes I would have mentioned it if the kids were spilling crisps in the soft play. But they weren't, they were smearing chocolate.

OP posts:
RussianSpy101 · 25/10/2021 12:24

@Sparklfairy I wouldn’t call loosing both parents having a bad day.

Loosing your keys or stubbing your toe might be a bit crap.

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 12:26

@sparklfairy exactly. She could have been waiting for news about a family emergency or whatever. Still doesn't make it ok to ignore your kids entirely. Would that be an excuse to not supervise your kids in other scenarios like at a friend's house where they break stuff or in a park when they're bullying other kids etc

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/10/2021 12:27

You need to supervise you child quite closely in soft play when they are under 5/6, and after that keep a better eye out that it sounds like she was.

At 3 (ish, I’m assuming it’s a guess) you need to watch them for their own safety first and foremost. Keeping slightly bigger ones (3 is pretty little) out of the baby area is soft play 101 (as they say). I’d have asked them to leave that area, and if not, asked a member of staff to have a word with their parent.

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 12:28

@rachelhasthoseinburgundy I worded that clumsily. I meant having twins doesn't give you a get out of jail free card for supervising your kids.

OP posts:
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 25/10/2021 12:29

I guess we don’t know the ins and outs! Maybe today was a working day and her child care fell through at the last min so she was trying to work and make sure the kids were entertained!

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 12:29

@cocacolatruck1 I didn't assume they had additional needs. I don't think they did. I said I suppose they could have done because I didn't want a pile on telling me off that I didn't consider they might have had. Even if they did, still need to supervise your kids.

OP posts:
Mulhollandmagoo · 25/10/2021 12:31

I swear soft play is more political than the house of commons 🤣 but it is shit when kids get boisterous and their parents don't step in! It just comes with the territory unfortunately - the chocolate in there would piss me off the most 🤢 the screaming and running riot is what it's there for

I'm that awful helicopter parent in soft play, I have a tendency to catastophise so I'm convinced everytime we go my child is going to sustain a life changing injury 🤦🏻‍♀️ but she loves it so...

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 25/10/2021 12:31

Urgh god my son is 19mo and soft play fills my heart with dread

Sexnotgender · 25/10/2021 12:32

Children need supervision. That’s fairly basic.

Yes she’s probably knackered and if they were running around a field not bothering anyone and causing a nuisance it wouldn’t be the end of the world. But they were impacting other people using the facilities and that’s an issue.

Sometimes kids don’t do as they’re told and parenting is really fucking hard. I was travelling last week and my 2 year old was absolutely wild. NO idea what was wrong with him. Other than the fact he’s 2 obviously. If anyone had seen us they probably thought we were shit parents. We were doing our best to contain the mayhem though. That was just a snapshot though. The next day he was back to being lovely.

girlmom21 · 25/10/2021 12:34

You should have spoken to staff and asked them to speak to the parent.

I don't think a Mars bar is enough to give a toddler a sugar high...

Original poster
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 25/10/2021 12:38

I think some people on here want to assume in this scenario that I'm some organic, posh, think I'm perfect and better than everyone else parent judging the 'chav'. If you knew me in real life you would realise that couldn't be further from the truth 🤣. You don't have to be posh to know that supervising your kid is kind of a basic requirement of being a parent.

OP posts:
Bostonbullsmumma · 25/10/2021 12:38

I went I soft play recently- my boys are a bit older now- youngest has started school and it was lovely to sit and have a cup of tea in peace. Pre covid I use to go all the time but it was never a rest- constantly following the DC about and supervising them. The mum shouldn't have left the twins to do as they wanted. Older kids in the baby area use to really wind me up! Soft play isn't a place to relax with small children- far from it!!

zoemum2006 · 25/10/2021 12:38

Urgh another mum bashing thread.

It’s a tough gig. help. don’t criticise.

Bostonbullsmumma · 25/10/2021 12:39

@girlmom21

You should have spoken to staff and asked them to speak to the parent.

I don't think a Mars bar is enough to give a toddler a sugar high...

I'm fairly laid back with my children but I wouldn't let them have a Mars bar. They must be loaded with sugar!!