We don't have a diagnosis yet but my daughter is on the waiting list for neurodevelopmental assessment, after a telephone consultation with CAMHS, who suggested ADHD may be a possibility.
DD is bright, funny, highly creative, engaging, doing well academically, and can be very kind. However she had a horrendous year at school last year. She could not focus on the carpet during learning activities and easily became overwhelmed, lashing out at and hitting/hitting peers and teachers and being defiant. I dreaded every single day last year, worried about what the day would bring with her behaviour. No amount of consequences / rewards at home or school made a difference to her behaviour. I've gone around in circles wondering whether it's ASD/PDA/ODD/ADHD, or whether we were simply awful parents doing a bad job of bringing her up (I spent more time than I should have pondering that little chestnut!)
As I've looked into ADHD more, I can see the attention elements are there for my DD (she can't get dressed / eat her dinner / walk down the street without getting distracted!). I initially discounted ADHD as a possibility though as she is able to concentrate brilliantly during some tasks, particularly those she enjoys and finds intrinsically motivating, e.g. drawing. However I have since found out this is not unusual.
The aspect that impacts on her most is the emotional regulation side of things. I have only really started to understand that this is actually quite a key part of ADHD despite not being part of the diagnostic criteria. She was in reception year last year and the free-flow play was just too much, too overwhelming, and she just couldn't comply with instructions, nor control her behaviour / responses. Her way of managing was lashing out.
School staff have also noticed she has some anxiety. She worries about getting things 'right', struggles with transitions, and feels very unsure of herself at times.
She is in a different class this year and the 'calmer' classroom environment has done wonders for her. The teaching staff this year seem really responsive too and let her have some time out of the classroom when it gets too much. We haven't had a single incident of hitting/hurting or lashing out so far. She still needs support to keep on task in the classroom but she is doing so much better.
I really don't think she has ASC as she has lovely social skills when well-regulated and engages socially well with children and adults. We can have great reciprocal conversations with her. She has theory of mind and can explain what's happening in social situations.
She might not get a diagnosis of ADHD of course, but nevertheless, I feel that viewing her needs through an ADHD mindset has helped me understand her better.