The Maid on Netflix needs to be watched. (Potential TW)

[Dogscanteatonions]

Mostly posting here for traffic but I've been in tears watching this as it's made me Realise how abusive my exh was and how difficult it was to tell people or even admit it was happening because he never actually 'hit' me.

The verbal/emotional abuse was terrible when he was drunk and boy did he drink and often.

The gaslighting if I dared mention it, the utter fear I lived in of saying the wrong thing, how fucking careful he was to do everything 'but' hit me. The pinning me down, the bruises, oh he was so fucking careful that if I'd tried to tell someone it would be hard to describe anything he'd actually done.

I'm posting here so I can just have a rant. I'm glad I'm not with him but I know so many women are going through this.

It's brilliant and very moving, and I think all women should watch it. to you.

The most powerful bit for me is when she no longer has a car (deliberately vague as to why, in order to avoid spoilers).

He breaks her in every way possible without ever laying a finger on her or their daughter and for that I agree everyone should watch.

The early red flags the partner displays are good to discuss with teens watching with you too.

@Kazziek

It's brilliant and very moving, and I think all women should watch it. to you.

Thank you - it is great but boy do I have to work through some things I think!

I couldn’t get past second episode

Loved Andie McDowell but found main actress off putting, and the stress of her driving, distracted with her dd. Maybe I need to keep going

for you though op

Interesting fact that the main actress is AM's real life mother. I think that must have been a really difficult task to act like that alongside each other

Daughter*

Yes I cried a lot. I haven’t watched anything that keeps my attention like that for months.

@washerdrier

Interesting fact that the main actress is AM's real life mother. I think that must have been a really difficult task to act like that alongside each other

I didn't know that she was her daughter! How interesting and yes, must have been hard. - I wanted to shout at Andie macdowells character so many times!

Me too! When she gives the baby back to the horrible partner I wanted to scream!

Agreed. It is an amazing series

I am struggling to watch it as the abuse is a bit too close to my own experiences. The way he breaks her spirit without ever actually touching her.
Very important to show an example of an abusive toxic relationship that doesn’t actually involve physical violence.

Yes breaks her spirit is a good term for what happens. It’s so much more clear cut if there is physical violence. Easier for women to see they are being abused then.

@Crunchingleaf

I am struggling to watch it as the abuse is a bit too close to my own experiences. The way he breaks her spirit without ever actually touching her. Very important to show an example of an abusive toxic relationship that doesn’t actually involve physical violence.

That's why I think it's so important - it's something that's not realised, not noticed, not recognised.

I don't think I'd ever realised how abusive my old relationship really was

Just watched the first this evening. I too was in a relationship where things were thrown, emotional abuse was dished out in droves and I was gaslighted every day, but he never hit me (came very close a few times though). I don't think I could have watched it ten years ago.

@delilahbucket

Just watched the first this evening. I too was in a relationship where things were thrown, emotional abuse was dished out in droves and I was gaslighted every day, but he never hit me (came very close a few times though). I don't think I could have watched it ten years ago.

I hear you. I was in the exact same place.

2 things about it did me in how in dire circumstances it often actually makes sense to go back.

How damaging the family background can be to trying to extract yourself from abuse.

I believe it should be compulsorily viewing.

Yes and all the people around her were convinced he was a good guy deep down. So confusing for her

I watched this in a week a little while ago and I can honestly say I have found myself thinking about it frequently every day. It’s such a powerful piece and all the female leads are utterly fabulous - including the little girl, how did they get that performance from her?

It’s really well done isn’t it. Shows how broken the welfare system is, at least in the US.

Also highlights what an ongoing struggle life is for adult children from dysfunctional families. The sense of loyalty and responsibility Alex felt towards her mother despite the fact that she let her down repeatedly and when she realised her own father had been abusive to her mother in the past. It’s often a perpetual cycle of abuse that’s so difficult to break free from.

@Dogscanteatonions

@Summergarden

It’s really well done isn’t it. Shows how broken the welfare system is, at least in the US.

Also highlights what an ongoing struggle life is for adult children from dysfunctional families. The sense of loyalty and responsibility Alex felt towards her mother despite the fact that she let her down repeatedly and when she realised her own father had been abusive to her mother in the past. It’s often a perpetual cycle of abuse that’s so difficult to break free from.

Yes! It's so easy for people to say why don't they escape. This does how hard it can be in so many ways.

I felt the exact same way watching it. Hit really close to home. Kind of wishing my ex's new wife watches it and either recognises herself or ex recognises his self! But I doubt he'd even register that his behaviour was the same.

I thought it was extremely powerful.

The husband’s character was so rich. He was scary, manipulative and hopeless but also had a sweet and likeable side. Like so many of these people.

Nate was a fascinating one because he was so desperate to rock the Nice Guy act but it wasn’t convincing, not to me or to Alex. He wanted to be rewarded for his kindness so it wasn’t kindness.

And the father- what a solid gold disappointment.

I was thinking of reading the book it's based on.

I was absolutely hooked!

Reminder to all of us we need to stop the shift towards an American style benefits and healthcare system. A woman in her situation would have fared much better on this side of the pond.

(I know benefits are still not enough here and have not kept up with rising cost of living. but a young woman with a small child would have been housed and the grandma would have been housed and had better access to healthcare and treatment.)