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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6.5 yr old nighttime bedwetting and daytine wee confusion

59 replies

Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 20:45

Hi

Just wondered if someone could advise. My daughter has been wearing pajama pants every night for over 2yrs now (some light pants but never dry more than dat at a time, sometimes leaking cos she pulls them up too high) and as she's approaching 7 we decided to try a new night time tactic I'd heard of from other mum's which is going cold turkey - no pants, just nighty, brolly sheets with wings and toilet visits last thing and first thing...anyway after a week she still wakes up wet bed no idea she's wee'd, figured no stress, matter of fact approach, washing daily changing her brolly sheets etc etc...found it strange she wouldn't wake up with wee running down her leg but figured it would happen eventually.

Anyway my main concern is just lately she has started saying she has tried at the toilet, says she didn't go, then later see wee in toilet, tonight I challenged her and could tell she wasn't lying, she honestly thought she hasn't been! For now we're asking her to check toilet n if looks yellow, then to treat it as if she's been to follow basic hygiene and prevent infection. But I'm concerned with fact she doesn't realise she's been, could it be she's not feeling the sensation? Hence maybe why she's not dry at night either??

#Puzzledparent

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 23/10/2021 20:57

If she isn't producing the hormone that cuts down urine at night and isn't able to wake with the sensation of a full bladder then she isn't going to be able to be dry at night just yet.

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 23/10/2021 20:58

Of course she knows she’s been because she can hear it too? I doubt it’s a sensation thing if she’s not incontinent?

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2021 20:59

How's her poos?

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2021 21:03

Agree with pp re night wees and she won't wake up to the feel of wee running down her leg because it isn't. A warm puddle will be gently spreading out beneath her. It's not unusual for kids to wee the bed and not know.

The not feeling wee coming out when she's on the loo is weirder, hence the qn about poo - constipation can press on her bladder and make her lose the sensation.

She's feeling the need to go though and then feeling there is no need to go once she's up? Could she just be day dreaming and not paying attention

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:04

Poos are vmregupar no issues going.

That's what I mean, she was serious when she said she hasn't been but her pants had a drip in them (cos she thought she hasn't been n therefore didn't need to wipe etc)..surely she'd feel or hear it???.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:04

Meant to say regular

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:07

Possibly day dreaming, it's only in daytime...at first thought she had a toilet issue and disliked talking about it hence why she was 'lying' about it but I know when she's lying and she defo believed what she was saying...v wierd...

OP posts:
sleepyhoglet · 23/10/2021 21:08

Also have a dd a few weeks off 7. Still not dry at night. She can have a wee before bed at 8.30 and still wet the bed! I don't think I can do much about it sadly

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:14

I'm starting to realise that! MIL saud go back to what you know but feels like taking 1 step forward 2 steps back...it would be less work but more cost not to mention giving my child the message that we can go back to the easy solution if things don't work out.

But putting that to one side, the weeing n not realising during daytime is puzzling, concerning....

OP posts:
RedMarauder · 23/10/2021 21:17

To clarify you have a six year old who doesn't have the signals and/or the sensation to know when they need to go to the toilet in the day but you only realised this because they weren't dry at night?

If so ask this thread to be moved to special needs forum as you will get better help there than in AIBU.

LittleOwl153 · 23/10/2021 21:18

Firstly don't stress. Yes at 7 she's on the older side for bedwetting - but I have a 12 Yr old who still does. She'll get there.

Second - have you been on the ERIC website. There is almost of useful info on there.

Third - if you are going to continue with the brolly sheets etc make sure you have enough bedding so that the washing of it particularly in the poor weather does not create you a big hassle. Tbh if she's happy in the nappy pants I'd keep using them.

4th - don't restrict her fuid intake but do eliminate squash/fruit shoots etc particularly the darker berries ones. They are a nightmare for bedwetting...

The not knowing she's using the toilet is an odd thing... maybe something to get checked out with the GP / School Nurse.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:21

It's a new thing tho cos daytime she's been fine for weeks so not sure really where to ask question. I seem to be getting some helpful responses. Interesting you reckon it's related to special needs as we have been going down the route of SPD referral for sensory seeking behaviour so daresay there's a correlation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:23

Wouldn't have thought about consulting school nurse but now wondering if she even goes at school/has an issue.

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Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:24

Re: brolly sheets - I have 2 brolley sheets, 2 duvets, 2 bedsheets etc, get them washing n drying during day ready for switching next morning...

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SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2021 21:26

giving my child the message that we can go back to the easy solution if things don't work out you're giving your child the message that when her body isn't ready to do something it's ok and isn't her fault. This isn't laziness, she can't work harder to make the hormones kick in. You can get her up hourly to pee but she will still pee the bed in between.

Think of it like this. Will you give her sanitary towels to put in her pants for 4 days a month from 13 even if she shows no sign of periods? No. Because you need to wait for her body. Same with night wees.

Stop punishing her for something that isn't her fault.

DownToTheSeaAgain · 23/10/2021 21:26

The eurenisis (not sure if I've spelt it correctly) clinic is what you need. Go to the GP for a referral although in our case they would do nothing until DS was 7.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:27

I keep hearing about the blackcurrant thing, but don't notice any change in quantity/frequency according to how much she drinks of things like oasis, blackcurrant squash etc...

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Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:28

Ok thanks both points make sense

OP posts:
Liervik · 23/10/2021 21:28

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:29

Didn't know they existed? Like reusable nappies...Terry towels were they called?

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custardbear · 23/10/2021 21:31

Just don't give her a complex. Vasopressin action likely hasn't set itself in your child. Talk to the GP for some support but just be wary of her feelings as it could be affecting her confidence

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:36

Thanks yes I agree

OP posts:
Flowerpowwer6 · 23/10/2021 21:38

It's unclear how long has your DD been toilet trained in the day OP and been dry?

Is there a reason why it's took you this long to train her?
I think 7 is old to wet the bed and not wake up it's very old. DS occasionally will wee if he's overly tired and had too much to drink but there's no way he would sleep through a saturated bed.

I remember as a child occasionally weeing the bed too I cannot remember my exact age but I definitely remember waking up...as I woke my mum up to tell her.

dementedpixie · 23/10/2021 21:41

@Flowerpowwer6

It's unclear how long has your DD been toilet trained in the day OP and been dry?

Is there a reason why it's took you this long to train her?
I think 7 is old to wet the bed and not wake up it's very old. DS occasionally will wee if he's overly tired and had too much to drink but there's no way he would sleep through a saturated bed.

I remember as a child occasionally weeing the bed too I cannot remember my exact age but I definitely remember waking up...as I woke my mum up to tell her.

You cant say 7 is too old. Some children need help to get there with alarms or medication or just time for their body to do what it's supposed to do.
Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:42

Hi she was potty trained in the day at 3. No daytime accidents at all.

The brolly sheets are designed the same as drynites pajama pants as in it takes the liquid away from top layer. So granted she won't feel dripping wet but thought she'd wake up with the action..

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