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Original poster

6.5 yr old nighttime bedwetting and daytine wee confusion

59 replies

Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 20:45

Hi

Just wondered if someone could advise. My daughter has been wearing pajama pants every night for over 2yrs now (some light pants but never dry more than dat at a time, sometimes leaking cos she pulls them up too high) and as she's approaching 7 we decided to try a new night time tactic I'd heard of from other mum's which is going cold turkey - no pants, just nighty, brolly sheets with wings and toilet visits last thing and first thing...anyway after a week she still wakes up wet bed no idea she's wee'd, figured no stress, matter of fact approach, washing daily changing her brolly sheets etc etc...found it strange she wouldn't wake up with wee running down her leg but figured it would happen eventually.

Anyway my main concern is just lately she has started saying she has tried at the toilet, says she didn't go, then later see wee in toilet, tonight I challenged her and could tell she wasn't lying, she honestly thought she hasn't been! For now we're asking her to check toilet n if looks yellow, then to treat it as if she's been to follow basic hygiene and prevent infection. But I'm concerned with fact she doesn't realise she's been, could it be she's not feeling the sensation? Hence maybe why she's not dry at night either??

#Puzzledparent

OP posts:
Flowerpowwer6 · 23/10/2021 21:45

@dementedpixie I was trying to get a clearer picture. I scrolled up and I can see OP has put something about sensory seeking issues.

What I said was 7 is old. I wasn't meaning it in a bad way. You would expect most 7 year old to be toilet trained fully. I agree though if you have an additional issue then it cannot be helped.

Flowerpowwer6 · 23/10/2021 21:46

@Tiredmummy2019

Hi she was potty trained in the day at 3. No daytime accidents at all.

The brolly sheets are designed the same as drynites pajama pants as in it takes the liquid away from top layer. So granted she won't feel dripping wet but thought she'd wake up with the action..

This is the odd part. Usually kids do wake up with a wet bed as it feels cold.
Baddit · 23/10/2021 21:47

I'm not sure about the daytime but for nights, cold turkey could means a lot of washing.

What worked for my son was trying lots of drinks in the day to stretch the bladder, a second wee at bedtime to fully empty the bladder before sleep and a bedwetting alarm to train him to notice when he's full / wet.

It worked in about 6 weeks. We don't use the alarm but he still has to have drinks / second wee to avoid wetting. He's 7.

The ERIC website is really good.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:49

We did buy and try the alarm setup when she was 4 I think but she hated wearing it and it didn't really wake her, that's other thing she's a deep sleeper...

OP posts:
halesie · 23/10/2021 21:52

Hi OP, if she may have SPD it's v likely to be linked - google interoception and toileting and you should find some useful info.

Interoception is basically communication between brain and body and can happen with all sorts of things (eg not realising they're too hot or cold which can be dangerous in a cold sea / v hot bath).

if your daughter has been fairly reliably dry in the daytime that's a v good sign and hopefully she'll get there overnight in her own time. both of mine were about that age when they got to the point of being (mostly) dry at night.

halesie · 23/10/2021 21:54

Also not unusual for kids with sensory issues to not wake up in a wet bed - neither of mine tended to (they're both autistic with some sensory differences).

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2021 21:56

Is there a reason why it's took you this long to train her? because as people have said on here, you need the body to kick in with the hormones. If you night trained at 3 it's as much luck as your talent as a parent.

I think 7 is old to wet the bed and not wake up it's very old. DS occasionally will wee if he's overly tired and had too much to drink but there's no way he would sleep through a saturated bed. it depend how deeply you sleep. It's warm, your room is warm,...

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:57

Halesie - thanks sounds interesting but she's pretty accurate with hot/cold etc...the SPD is linked to cuddling too often/too tighlty n not picking up on social cues but then the flipside is she lashes out if her personal space is invaded but uses knee jerk reactions like nudging, elbowing, kicking etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 21:58

Sleeping standing up - it was daytime potty training at 3 I meant to say

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 23/10/2021 22:03

If the daytime thing is recent- have you had her checked for a UTI? I'd do that as a first thing as it's often responsible for changes.

Make sure you have a good mattress protector on the bed, and I think I had 4/5 sets of bedding when we needed daily changes. Otherwise the washing just gets too much (and I was home fulltime at that point). I used brolly sheets and the ikea 4.5 tog quilts - in layers with blankets if need be as heavier quilts are a beggar to dry. The washing seems OK to begin with but can quickly get you down. I am 5 years down track from you. And it is only recently with hormone changes that things have improved. I hope your dd changes quicker but you could be in this for the long haul.

As I said before though if she's happy in the nappies I would stick with those. It is much easier on Brownie camp or sleepovers with friends to cover nappies than it is a wet bed too. It's not about going backwards it's about accepting she's not ready and going with what works for her.

If you are going down any SEN route you will soon grow a think skin where your friends are concerned and to go with it when things don't always work the way they 'should' its a steep learning curve... but you'll get there. And so will she.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 22:04

May b worth checking I guess...

Thanks worth considering.

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 23/10/2021 22:14

Oh and not waking up wet is definitely not unusual here. Dd usually wets when she is v tried going to bed and 'oversleeps'. She just wakes up wet at whatever time she wakes. She's probably wet in the early morning.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/10/2021 22:18

@Tiredmummy2019

Sleeping standing up - it was daytime potty training at 3 I meant to say
If you meant my last comment, I was talking to the pp who asked why you waited until this age to night train her, as if a kids body getting hormones is some reflection on parenting ability
Liervik · 23/10/2021 22:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 22:39

No the idea of night time training was not directed by others.

We have discussed it and think that maybe unintentionally and indirectly we have caused the daytime issues by the changes in her bed at night so have decided to ask her tomorrow what she wants to do - pajama pants vs brolly sheets - and take the pressure off and not stress about directing her to see before bed etc...like others have said if she's not ready I.e. the hormone, that's not something she can control...

OP posts:
Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 22:39

Directing to wee meant to say...

OP posts:
Mapletreelane · 23/10/2021 23:00

Both DC were dry in the day by 2.5 but always so wet at night quite late.

But i never forced it as they are both deep sleepers and were dry in the day.

Dc1, GP prescribed him at 8 years old a months supply of hormone that slowed down urine production at night. He was dry the second night, only needed a month and been dry ever since.

DC2 just suddenly went dry when she was about 7.

Really don't fret about night time. Concentrate on day time, but I would suggest though a visit to the GP who can rule out any physical issues and suggest a plan.

They're both teenagers now and never had any issues at night since they went dry.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 23:03

Thanks

OP posts:
LittleOwl153 · 23/10/2021 23:18

Take care. Small people can be a bumpy ride for those that care about them.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 23/10/2021 23:32

Totally esp as first and only child, constant learning and, let's face it, guessing game...

OP posts:
Whatiswrongwithmyknee · 24/10/2021 01:18

My ds was toilet trained before 3 but wet the bed every night until 7 when we got a bed alarm. He was a very deep sleeper and would not stir when soaked. The pull ups leaked every single night so he was always in a wet bed. We saw an nhs clinic. The nurse there was wonderful and made it really clear that 7 is not old to be wetting the bed and no waking when wet is also quite common and nothing to be concerned about. OP I wonder if your dd is anxious about weeing because of the changes at night? This might make her switch off when weeing, hence the not knowing if she's been.

Original poster
Tiredmummy2019 · 24/10/2021 09:45

It's possible so today I saud we could go back to pj pants and if course now she says she prefers not wearing anything! So we compromised and agreed 5 more days then pj pants 🙄

OP posts:
sleepingrabbits · 24/10/2021 10:02

I second the second wee. First is before PJ's and then do teeth, have 2 books a little play/sing and then a second wee just before lights go out.

LittleOwl153 · 24/10/2021 10:17

Yep that's a 6/7yr old for you.

Honestly OP, I would either return to the nappy pants or increase your bedding stock, teach her to dump her wet things in the bath and get a shower in the mornings. And let nature take its course. Don't let it be a battle either with her or in your own head. Life has enough of those.