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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not post pictures of my partners sons face on fb?

57 replies

Beachbreak2411 · 22/10/2021 22:00

We’ve been together almost 4 years; he and his kids have known my dd for about 2 of those years. The kids get on brilliantly and we have lots of lovely days out (his dd doesn’t see him much now because of other commitments and he only sees his son 1 day a week). He got really angry with me tonight as when I put pictures on fb I don’t put his son on, or if I do I don’t put his face in. I thought I was being respectful. He says his family think I don’t care enough about his son. I intentionally only put pictures up where his face isn’t showing. Am
I being unreasonable not to post pictures of my boyfriends child? We don’t live together and won’t do because I can only afford to rent a 2 bed house for my daughter and I and he still lives with his mum (at 43) and his kids sleep on the floor of his room

OP posts:
ThatNameAgainItsMrPlow · 22/10/2021 22:01
Hmm
Littlescottiedog · 22/10/2021 22:03

Did you explain to him that you were doing it to be respectful, that it's not your child?

Although, if you were putting family photos up with a big smiley emoji over only your partner's son's face, I could see why that would be considered a bit weird.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 22/10/2021 22:05

Not sure what your last paragraph has to do with anything.
Also not sure why you thought it was 'respectful' not to post photos of his son?

Original poster
Beachbreak2411 · 22/10/2021 22:07

I did explain I did it to be respectful. I don’t put an emoji over his sons face; I choose photos where he Isn’t facing the camera.. he’s in the pictures but his face isn’t.

OP posts:
TopCatsTopHat · 22/10/2021 22:09

Facebook is one of those things that people use very differently. Some people don't put theirs or anyone's kids on it, some plaster facebook with nothing but. Think you just need to agree what you both think is right and then he has an answer for his family. No point you respecting a boundary that's not even there, though I agree it was good that you did that.

Original poster
Beachbreak2411 · 22/10/2021 22:10

@StepAwayFromGoogling

Not sure what your last paragraph has to do with anything. Also not sure why you thought it was 'respectful' not to post photos of his son?
It has to do with him wanting to control me but not pay for anything. The child’s mum doesn’t put pictures of him on fbook so I don’t want to if it is something she doesn’t want
OP posts:
MilduraS · 22/10/2021 22:12

I think you're being very respectful of the child's mum. It's nice.

Ponoka7 · 22/10/2021 22:13

If it upsets him, then you should include his son. On his time he gets to decide if his son's picture is on FB.
Deal with your issues with him not wanting to live with and pool money with you.

AutumnLeafy · 22/10/2021 22:14

He can put pictures of his own son on Facebook instead of policing yours

AutumnLeafy · 22/10/2021 22:15

@MilduraS

I think you're being very respectful of the child's mum. It's nice.
I agree with this, and also respectful of the child.
Crunchymum · 22/10/2021 22:16

If, by your own admission, he wants to control you and not pay for things I have have ask the obvious question.

Why are you with this man?

PackedintheUK · 22/10/2021 22:17

I think you're doing the right thing, especially if mum doesn't post photos.

He doesn't sound like much of a catch though.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/10/2021 22:18

If it upsets him, then you should include his son

Yeah, bollocks to that.

Motnight · 22/10/2021 22:19

How old is his dd?

It seems as though there's a backstory here if he no longer sees much of one child, and the other child just once a week.

Theunamedcat · 22/10/2021 22:20

I would personally appreciate a girlfriend long term or not keeping my child's face off her Facebook

ErinAoife · 22/10/2021 22:21

I think you are doing the right thing out of respect for the mother. I am upset when I see picture of my kids with the girlfriend of my ex or the girlfriend blabbing about them on social media and when I confronted my ex about something she had posted but without telling him where I got the information, he accused my daughter of lying and had the audacity to say who I believe a 4 years old or him, well obviously not him.

LolaSmiles · 22/10/2021 22:21

It seems like you're being sensitive to the child's mum and your boyfriend is potentially hoping for some woman drama where you and his ex end up in conflict.

If boyfriend wants to put photos of his child's face on social media, do it himself.

Original poster
Beachbreak2411 · 22/10/2021 22:22

@Ponoka7

If it upsets him, then you should include his son. On his time he gets to decide if his son's picture is on FB. Deal with your issues with him not wanting to live with and pool money with you.
Lol.. I don’t have issues with him not wanting to live with me.. he does but he wants to move in with me and I don’t have enough room. I work hard and earn plenty.
OP posts:
WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 22/10/2021 22:24

I’d be phoning social services on him. You really think it’s ok for children to sleep on the floor?

You also say, “ it has to do with him wanting to control me.” Congratulations, you’re self aware, you know he’s controlling so why are you still with the twat?

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 22/10/2021 22:28

He sounds attractive Confused

Chickychoccyegg · 22/10/2021 22:29

From what you've written I wonder why your with him, he doesn't sound like a good partner or parent

Original poster
Beachbreak2411 · 22/10/2021 22:30

sS have been involved because of problems on the mums side and they know the kids don’t have beds. I was a bit 🤨 about that but oddly the family seem to think kids sleeping on a duvet (no mattress) is acceptable.

OP posts:
cricketmum84 · 22/10/2021 22:31

You are being respectful towards the SC mum. I am not a step parent but I would never post a photo of SC on my social media. That just wouldn't be my call!

RobertaFirmino · 22/10/2021 22:33

I know this has already been asked but why, oh why, are you with this man?

WorraLiberty · 22/10/2021 22:45

Is this the guy who hits you (your words) is cruel to you (also your words) and once threw your book on the fire (again your words) because you didn't want to watch scary movies with him?

Yeah, dump him before he starts abusing your daughter too.