To send child to a secondary one hour away?

[hibbledibble]

I'm thinking hard about secondary options currently. One option is about an hour away, and an amazing school. It would however involved a train ride and then a bus.

Other options are a bus ride away, and also good, but don't have the same amazing facilities or stellar results.

I'm torn regarding which school to pick as first choice.

Is an hour too much to travel?

Yes it’s far too much. The nearby schools would have to be astonishingly bad to justify it. Commuting for an hour on more than one type of public transport is wearing enough in the long term as an adult without inflicting it unnecessarily on someone from childhood. There is a lot to be said for local friends and time spent on more enjoyable activities than dealing with the stresses of overcrowding, delays and cancellations on public transport.

It's just dead time too. Ds has a half hour walk to school. I think that's doable cos he can pick up mates on the way. It's quicker by bike, but I'm scared of the roads. I feel sorry for him in shit weather, but I leave almost an hour before he has to. But at least he doesn't have to stand round waiting for a bus. Or suffering the torment of a lawless school bus ride home.

Can we just acknowledge that those travelling an hour on public transport in London will have a VERY different experience than those travelling an hour in rural parts of the UK.

There was ONE bus I could get that came at times that varied. Could be very early or very late. I had to get to the stop very early to make sure I didn't miss the bus then stand in the freezing cold, sometimes for up 25 mins, alone.

If I missed that one and only bus my parents had to drive me in, meaning they didn't get to work on time and I got a massive bollocking.

I still have nightmares about missing it.

I then had to sit on the bus for an hour or more whilst it trundled around every village in the area. No one from my actual school got on it. Just me. Then the reverse every evening.

It's not like getting the tube when arrives every 3 mins. Completely different kettle of fish.

Needless to say I now live extremely centrally in a big city. I walk to work, and most other places. I will never ever live rurally again and will never ever subject my children to that commute.

It’s the norm where we live. The catchment secondary schools are in the nearest town. A 20 min car journey but the free school bus picks our kids up at the front door get at 8am and they’re not the first to get on. Home 4.30pmish. All the local kids are in the same position so ferrying kids around till they can drive themselves is also the norm. There are only local primary schools so all the kids do it. It may feel different if you live somewhere where you would be avoiding the nearer schools to go to one further away.

It’s too far. The school may be better but you have to look at the overall qyaity of life and 2 hrs commuting daily sucks. And that’s before kissed buses train breakdowns etc.

It isn’t an option unless you move house.

I went to school an hour away, it was utterly rubbish for friendships and I don't recall doing any after-school activities at all.

I didn’t travel an hour away but the way our village transport worked I had to be at the bus stop at 7 and had to wait 40minutes for the bus after school and it took around another 30 to get home. I was absolutely exhausted and so happy when we moved, it took a hit on my ability and I never could be bothered with homework as I was too shattered from travelling.

Mine are at a good school ten min walk away. The short walk is an absolutely massive benefit. They can go to all extra curricular. It's safe as so many kids around. Mates are all close by. I'd not trade it for anything.
I can't imagine 2 hours a day on a bus

Unless you love school that journey is too long for school!

It would be an hour on a good day with things running smoothly. Also factor in dark winter mornings and little time for anything different after school. It would mean my DS giving up his sports clubs too & that's a big ask.

Too far.

I’m looking at secondary schools for my DD at the moment. To be honest, one hour away is a bit too far isn’t it.

Too far.

Think how tiring a two hour commute 5 days a week is.

Just taking Year 7 - 11 into account - that is 1950 hours or the equivalent of 81 days just spent travelling.

Having done this myself to get to private school...I would NOT recommend.
The train I got was 7.22 every morning and so I was up between 6 and 6.30am and not hum until after 5pm
For a teen it is a very long day and sometimes I managed homework on the train but not always.

I really think I'd have faired better at a closer "normal" school.

If its such an amazing school it's likely to be oversubscribed so if it's miles away you're probably not going to get a place anyway (EHCP/SEND/other criteria permitting)

An hour is a very long journey on reliable public transport - it only takes a minor delay for that to turn into 90 mins or 2 hours. And my kids secondary starts at 8.20, meaning they'd need to be on the premises at 8.15, leaving home before 7.15, getting up at 6.30 latest? What sort of areas will they be travelling through in the dark before school and getting home after 4.30? After school activities off the cards too if they mean your dc won't be home until 5.30? Detentions the same? That's a really long-ass day for an 11 yo, and frustrating as fuck for 12, 13,14, 15 plus

I went to a grammar school. 400 of us travelled by train to the nearest city, then by bus to the outskirts where the school was. Some of the children from villages had to hang around school for an hour for their bus, whose times were linked to commuters.

Advantages - got very used to travelling on public transport on my own, and resilient and resourceful in the event of train cancellations or buses not turning up. Much homework was done (not necessarily very neatly) on the journey

Disadvantage - friends might well be an hour in the other direction, so two hours away.

And yy one of the first replies hits the nail on the head. I couldn't socialise after school as I had to just go for the train.
I couldn't just meet up with my friends from school etc

It was actually just very lonely.

@unknownstory

Mine are at a good school ten min walk away. The short walk is an absolutely massive benefit. They can go to all extra curricular. It's safe as so many kids around. Mates are all close by. I'd not trade it for anything. I can't imagine 2 hours a day on a bus

Sounds like bliss. Your kids are v lucky you made sensible decisions for them.

Yes, too far, by far!

I think friendship changes a lot in secondary so I wouldn’t be swayed by that to stay local but did does depend a bit whether the school typically has children travel far to get there or not. I a similar distance from home to my school but so did many others and there was a common town to meet up and friends from the school bus etc. However i know a school which has a wide catchment (some selection) but also has 4 feeder schools which can make things a bit cliquey and with added selection there’s an element if 2 tiers of students. Hope that helps

Too far. Can you move?

Is this a maintained school or academy? If so, you need to check whether you realistically stand a chance of getting a place, as good state schools and academies tend to fill up very quickly from those who live near them.

@Animood

I was sent to secondary a long way away. I wouldn't recommend it.

I was permanently exhausted by long commute.

If I missed the bus mum had to come get me.

All my friends lived ages away and I felt very isolated at evenings and weekends.

I struggled to go to after school activities because of tiredness and transport.

I do resent my parents for making such an utterly impractical choice on the basis that it was a good school. I am convinced the choice of school would not have made a material difference to my grades. But a closer school would have made me happier.

Yep, this is how I feel and actually I did terribly at school and think I'd have had better results at the local one.

I wouldn’t do it. A happy school life isn’t just about academics but all the other stuff too, friendships, activities etc.

It’s just too much. When they start they’ll still only be 11!!