To think a large dog breed meet up isn't the place for small children?

[Stitchybitch79]

(My second dog related post in two days!)

My dog is a well known and popular larger breed.

I booked dog into a meet up for this breed a few days ago. One of those enclosed field affairs, where they let them run, play etc.

My dog is a bit scared of children. She's never hurt one and gets on fine with children known to me, but I'd never leave her alone with them (obviously), and I don't let children she doesn't know stroke her as she is nervous around them and I'd rather be safe than sorry, if one hurt or scared her even by accident and she instinctively snapped or even growled, I'd feel terrible!

Anyway I got to this meet and several small children were there. It was at night, so dark (lit with some purposeful lamps) and I didn't dare let my dog off. Children were running about amidst the dogs, or on the sidelines, away from the adults, andI just didn't feel confident.

I left after a few minutes. :(

I felt that;

1)Fights happen at these events, It's inevitable with dogs that don't know one another well. I've see one or two at every breed meet up I've been to. Rarely serious and owners tend to just split them up and all is fine within a few minutes but, if a child gets caught in the crossfire or approaches an agitated dog even once they've separated, potential for a bad incident.

2. This is a LARGE breed. They can knock a grown man over, a small child who gets in the way of them playing has no chance!

3)Taking small children to an event with loads of dogs whose temperaments you really have no way of knowing about? Just irresponsible IMO.

I was actually quite upset to have to come away, I've not been to one for ages and was looking forward to it. It's a great way to socialise dogs and it is a breed renowned for poor recall (although mine has good recall, a lot of this breed owners dont ever let them off lead because of this, apart from at events like this one).

AIBU? Am I just bitter as I couldn't stay? I love dogs and It's generally a lot of fun watching them play happily together with their own sorts.

I think you were sensible to leave. Most dogs are worried / confused by small children, so a whole load of large dogs with small children running around is asking for trouble. I would say something to the organisers before something awful happens.

anamechangeagain Are they? I've never considered that. Most other dogs I know are fine but maybe that's unusual. My partner's dog isnt as nervy as mine but you still have to watch her.

I did speak to the organisers and two of the children were theirs so always going to be there. I understand It's difficult if you're hosting an event with your partner, if you don't have childcare.

The one I used to go to closed down (covid :( ) but no children ever there and no treats/toys allowed. There were both treats and toys at this one-just asking for trouble I felt-triggers for dogs becoming jealous and fighting over them?

i agree op....complain. it should be kid free

I don't know who to complain to, really. I should have put it in the OP sorry, but some of the children were the organisers own. I think, if that were me and both of us had to be there, I'd have left the children in the car with a book/toys or whatever (locked gate, secure car park right next to the field) rather than have them running about amidst the dogs. But that's by the by. I guess organiser must have insurance of some sort, someone must regulate these things? Maybe?

YANBU it sounds badly thought out.
Surely they would need public liability insurance for this kind of organised meet up?

You would think so wouldn't you. It would be terrible if one of the children got hurt.

We have a large strong breed and we go to these exact type of meet ups. I've actually never been to one without lots of children. They really aren't a great training opportunity. They are good puppies and reliable dogs. Maybe organise a meet up of your own explicitly stating no kids?

@CailleachO

We have a large strong breed and we go to these exact type of meet ups. I've actually never been to one without lots of children. They really aren't a great training opportunity. They are good puppies and reliable dogs. Maybe organise a meet up of your own explicitly stating no kids?

I'd never seen children at one until tonight! It was a shock. Yes they're for boisterous, off lead play really aren't they.

I'd love to do that but it just wouldn't be possible with my working pattern, plus I feel I'd be treading on the organiser's toes. They're nice people, the woman lives near me and we bump into one another a lot. It's a quite small area she covers.

I’d say if you have any dog of any breed or side you shouldn’t be taking them somewhere to run about with dogs of unknown temperament.

Your dog could get hurt or develop a fear which could lead to aggression, regardless of their size.
You should only socialise your dog with known/trusted dogs who have have met at least once for supervised/on lead meets.

By that theory, I don't feel so bad that we didn't go now. I always felt it good to socialise them. My dog doesn't get to play with dogs close to her breed very often really, as most owners of this breed dont let them off.

There were both treats and toys at this one-just asking for trouble I felt-triggers for dogs becoming jealous and fighting over them?

There’s your reason not to attend. It’s not the sort of socialisation I’d want for my dog…….

Yes, it did seem a bit ill thought out generally, and I'm no dog expert.

This sounds awful. Why would you want to take your dog to a meet up where there are often scuffles or even fights between the dogs. And if your dog doesn't have the temperament for group mingling this kind of thing is going to make it all worse not better.
I don't think there is a problem with kids being at meet ups. It is a problem if the dogs are rowdy, poorly socialised or not of a stable temperament.
I would not take my dog to this kind of thing.
I think you will sound daft complaining about it. It's clearly an at your own risk affair.
Get your dog used to small kids and not in a field of mad dogs!

We have a pug and went to a "pug cafe" meet-up where a huge number of pugs were just running wild, climbing on tables (it was indoors). There were endless treats that random people just fed to any of the dogs. Total chaos and lots of people including kids. I would never go again

@Hothammock

This sounds awful. Why would you want to take your dog to a meet up where there are often scuffles or even fights between the dogs. And if your dog doesn't have the temperament for group mingling this kind of thing is going to make it all worse not better. I don't think there is a problem with kids being at meet ups. It is a problem if the dogs are rowdy, poorly socialised or not of a stable temperament. I would not take my dog to this kind of thing. I think you will sound daft complaining about it. It's clearly an at your own risk affair. Get your dog used to small kids and not in a field of mad dogs!

I think there will always be bluster and dominance aggression at them and obviously I didn't think it was a great place to get my dog used to children. I've never known how I can do that without putting a child at risk though. It changed over night did that, she used to be fine. All of a sudden wasn't. No idea why :(

She did used to love the old meet up we went to though, that wasn't a problem.

@XelaM

We have a pug and went to a "pug cafe" meet-up where a huge number of pugs were just running wild, climbing on tables (it was indoors). There were endless treats that random people just fed to any of the dogs. Total chaos and lots of people including kids. I would never go again

I'm sure you're not like this but a lot of pug owners seem to be a certain type. That doesn't surprise me!

When you say your dog isn't good with kids what do you mean? The easiest way is to start training her a long distance away from a kids playpark (on the lead of course). If she doesn't show any signs of stress slowly move closer. Eventually you need older kids of friends you trust to follow instructions who can offer her treats etc. If your dog has actively tried to bite a child then really you need a behaviourist to help.

If you’re worried your dog might snap at a child in public (even through fear) then she needs to be muzzled for everyone’s protection. A large strong breed can easily kill or maim a child.

Kids are unpredictable, you never know when one will bump into your dog or startle her by running and shrieking, or a toddler stumble up to her before the parents can grab him. I have a large breed and it’s astounding how many kids just pet him without asking. Luckily he’s well socialised with children of all ages so he doesn’t mind. But I can see how a nervous dog might snap.

I’d never go to one of those breed meet ups with strangers, it’s not ‘socialising’ to let your dog off the lead and leave her to fend for herself/fight off badly trained dogs.

Why not get together with a few friends and rent a secure field for a few hours, let the dogs off once they know each other and have been properly introduced on lead? And explain your dog isn’t good with kids yet so people can leave their kids at home.

At a public event I’d expect all dogs to be fully socialised with children and other dogs if let off. Fights shouldn’t be happening! Socialisation is a type of gradual controlled exposure, with your dog being taught manners along the way (such as not fighting, never approaching other dogs without invitation, crashing into people or jumping up at strangers). To let her off in a field with strange dogs she needs to be well socialised already, have impeccable recall and be able to read other dogs’ body language.

Sounds like an organised disaster event, with or without children.

I disagree about 'fights' not happening. Well socialised dogs will correct dogs especially puppies that have no boundaries. What the OP described is that more than a proper dog fight.

As this is in AIBU and not the dog board, I feel I can ask this. What on earth is the appeal of owning a massive, difficult breed of dog that can't be let off the lead? Let alone meeting up with other massive difficult dogs! Why not just choose something easier so you don't need to worry about this stuff?

I know many well trained dogs who wouldn't hurt a puppy - maybe putting a paw on their head to calm them down ( female German Shepherd - have seen this - or a slight growl to warn them off but no biting etc ) but most well trained dogs won't hurt a puppy - much less a child ( unless - as I had once - the child persistently poked a stick in my dog's eye - which hurt - and Mum of child couldn't be bothered to ask child not to - on her phone ) So removed dogs and explained to her it wasn't a great idea to let her child hurt dogs.

@SnowyPetals

As this is in AIBU and not the dog board, I feel I can ask this. What on earth is the appeal of owning a massive, difficult breed of dog that can't be let off the lead? Let alone meeting up with other massive difficult dogs! Why not just choose something easier so you don't need to worry about this stuff?

I have a large breed dog that I don't let off lead when I'm out with her (though DH does). It's not because she's naughty or difficult, it's just that she REALLY loves people, they are the Best Thing Ever and even treats don't work to get her to come back. I'm not the quickest person in the world so I prefer to keep her on lead. DH is much more exciting than I am (according to our dog) so she's more likely to return to him even if there are New And Interesting People To Visit.

I have been told that Newfies have the recall of a teddy bear, which certainly is my experience with our darling.

OP: YANBU, but you know the rules: dog threads must have photos.

Cailleach0 She's afraid of them. If I'm walking down the street with her and a small child walks past, she'll cower. There are a couple of kids whose estate I walk through who love her, who I have advised she's a nervous dog and not to approach and they're so understanding bless them, and they stand at a distance sometimes and wave at her and say how gorgoues she is. All the while she's sort of playig but nervously (playbowing, soft 'boof' barks, ears back...)

I honestly live nowhere near ANYBODY I know with kids. I'm late thirties but I recently moved away from my old town so all my friends are there. My closest friend here has a 15 year old (who is a child but not small, obviously and he plays with her for hours, no issue whatsoever).

And no she hasn't ever bitten a child.

I don't know where I went wrong really. When she was a young dog 1-2 years old, we lived next door to a little girl. Dog got into their garden once and I was baffled as the hedge was very thick and a wire fence held it in. I went and got her and apologised. Next day, same again. Eventually we figured out girl was breaking the wire apart to let dog through! And she was massively gentle and lovely with this girl who was about 6 but very small for her age. Parents always in garden though. Dog also used to play with a toddler DS of my friend's too, again utterly fine, so I guess I didn't ever assume this would become an issue, but it did. The first instance I noticed was when we were in a pub for lunch and a woman walked near us with a small child and dog barked really loud, ears back, clearly afraid. No idea what happened as, as I've said upthread, I've had dog since she was a week old, I weaned her. She's never had a bad experience with a child.

fate I don't let her anywhere near children ever. I agree, people do tend to not be caeful at all do they.

I don't know any friends with dogs like mine unfortunately,or that would be a fabulous idea-and it is one I've thought about before. A local group do a mutual on lead dog walk sometimes, but I got put off that as after doing a lot of reading some people think It's a very bad idea, 'forcing' dogs to get along sort of thing and they feel more vulnerable while on lead.

They're not 'proper' fights, I've never seen a dog injured at an event. They tend to just, put certain ones in their place sort of thing.

snowypetals outing myself here but there is a general consensus that huskies/malamutes cannot be let off lead. When I got mine (who was dumped on me as a pup, would have died otherwise, not a dog I'd have chosen but obviously I love her now!)I thought 'nope not having that' and she has great recall despite my being told numerous times that it is impossible. I dont let her off unless I am absolutely certain of my surroundings though. I couldn't have a dog and never let it off at all, I think that's cruel. Some people with this breed never do ever :(

I am not trying to find fault with people's suggestions, truly I am not. But I do want to socialise her and as other people with this type of dog don't usually let them off, I am limited.

A while back, I bumped into a lady who had a male version of my dog, and it was clear from their interactions that they really liked one another. We let them run around for about an hour which was lovely. I thought I'd see them again but I haven't.