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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Some people have a chip on their shoulder so big..

62 replies

Pheasantlysurprised · 21/10/2021 19:35

Example: spent xmas a few yrs ago in our favourite holiday cottage.

On this occasion we invited a family friend who would be otherwise alone that year. We were excited and looking for to it, etc, etc.

Once there, the friend descended into a sulk, but would not discuss the reason. Everywhere we went and everything we did, they found issue with it. I bought a reduced dress in a joules sale (I know that IS unreasonable Grin) and she wouldn't enter the shop.
We did a holiday food shop at Booths and clubbed together to spoil ourselves with goodies. Everything I put in the trolley was remarked upon. Apparently fresh vegetables or anything resembling salad was 'rabbit food' and those who 'fell for it' were pretentious.

This did strain the mood a bit but laughed it off. And on it went, regarding tv choices, walks, cooking, etc, until a fairly explosive but short argument on xmas eve because I didnt want to eat prawns (don't like them). It resolved quickly thankfully.

BUT the big thing that made me post after recalling it was the day we left the cottage. Our friend had the most lovely, largest room with an open fire and gorgeous furnishings. She complained when we ran the hoover round to check we'd left it clean. When we asked why she said "the owners are rich bastards and couldn't give a toss about the likes of us so they can sod off"
The 'likes of us' are just regular folk, I think.

She actually went into her room prior to us leaving and threw the covers off the bed and the cushions across the floor to 'teach them a thing or two'. Perhaps she didn't realise only the poor fucking cleaner would have to deal with it.

BTW the owner wasn't rich, just comfortable. We knew her. It all felt incredibly sour and is a mindset I can't relate to. We still see friend but are careful not to get her onto any such topic!

Is this what is commonly referred to as a 'chip'?
AIBU?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 21/10/2021 19:39

Not sure about a chip but a sour faced misery guts with bad manners covers it.

You’re surely not still friends?

Dinafoxrocks · 21/10/2021 19:39

I would say this was more commonly referred to as an arsehole.

LawnFever · 21/10/2021 19:43

Why are you even friends with this person? Are they always like this?

DroopyClematis · 21/10/2021 19:46

Yep.
Bad mannered and very rude.

Appreciably some holiday cottages are owned by fabulously wealthy people, some are owned by holiday cottage chains, but some are owned privately as inherited homes which provide a pension and some are a means of providing a main income.

Brollywasntneededafterall · 21/10/2021 19:47

Is she The Grinch?

Siameasy · 21/10/2021 19:53

Joyless

Elphame · 21/10/2021 20:00

Yes - it's the poor cleaner who has to pick up after her. The owner probably won't even hear about it. I only get to hear about the more extreme stuff, nothing this petty.

Original poster
Pheasantlysurprised · 21/10/2021 20:12

we are still in contact due to family 'obligations' but we keep it short and sweet. Im all for accepting people for who they are, so if she is tolerant, that's all good with me. At least we know not to do xmas again.

On home turf she has never displayed this kind of attitude since, but she does go on a lot of package hols and I wonder how she treats the places abroad.

OP posts:
SmallWaistFatFace · 21/10/2021 20:14

Was she struggling with money at the time?

Original poster
Pheasantlysurprised · 21/10/2021 20:16

@SmallWaistFatFace

Was she struggling with money at the time?
not at all. she was also a chef when she was younger, and is a terrific cook. Not sure why my veg pissed her off, unless it was booths.
OP posts:
overnightangel · 21/10/2021 20:23

I think you’re giving too much credit and headspace to someone who is just an out and out fucking cunt

StoneofDestiny · 21/10/2021 20:24

No wonder she spends Christmas on her own.
She is rude, jealous, bitter and inconsiderate - no evidence of a chip as such.

BlueSuffragette · 21/10/2021 20:24

Wow she sounds joyless. I'd limit contact with her as spending time with her sounds depressing. Maybe there is something in her past that has impacted her MH.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 21/10/2021 20:26

That's not even a chip on her shoulder, she may just be a whole potato at this point.

She sounds awful.

Veryverycalmnow · 21/10/2021 20:33

She sounds utterly joyless. Has she always been this way? Was she depressed? I found myself coming out with loads of self- centred, negative stuff when I was depressed and didn't like anything. I was aware of it and shut off friends because I didn't like myself. This was years ago and fairly short- lived. Luckily I got help and find I just have a healthy amount of cynicism now. It's so draining for everybody when someone is like that.

IhaveaBigBum · 21/10/2021 20:34

Tell us about the prawn argument OP Grin

HollowTalk · 21/10/2021 20:35

@overnightangel

I think you’re giving too much credit and headspace to someone who is just an out and out fucking cunt
I couldn't put it better myself. How did you not call her out on this?
Cherrysoup · 21/10/2021 20:36

Very bizarre. As a matter of pride self respect, I’ll always leave somewhere as clean and tidy as possible. It’s not often the owner who cleans, it’ll be the poor bloody cleaner.

mumofthemonsters808 · 21/10/2021 20:38

I can’t deal with them type of people, they suck the life out of me.I find them draining and they really affect my mood negatively. I’m drawn to the fun, uplifting types, I like people who know how to have a good time.

Rather than be grateful that she had been welcomed into a family at Christmas and enjoy the opportunity to have some fun.She decided to be miserable and moan about nonsense, make sure you don’t fall for it again

AspCommie · 21/10/2021 20:50

Fucking hell, I would not be inviting this woman to anything else again. Rude cow.

Merryoldgoat · 21/10/2021 20:53

@overnightangel

I think you’re giving too much credit and headspace to someone who is just an out and out fucking cunt
I basically wanted to say this
samwitwicky · 21/10/2021 20:54

Not that it's any excuse but is Christmas a particularly difficult time for her?

DeborahAnnabel · 21/10/2021 21:29

There are a huge amount of people with chips on mumsnet. There are plenty of people who are “wealthy” and I use the term very loosely, who ask for advice about pensions or large mortgages or the benefits over 4 star vs 5 star hotels and some people give them such a hard time. Unless you have earn minimum wage and have a deadbeat ex, you have no right to say anything that might someone else’s chip grow bigger.
Threads like that should come with a disclaimer*: those in need of ketchup should not enter this thread

dottiedodah · 21/10/2021 21:36

Well I think overnight angel got it bang on here .the woman is an outright cunt! She sounds very rude and unpleasant, if someone invited me for Xmas I would be thrilled!. Maybe just min contact for now .no more hols at Xmas with scrooge!

Mistressofnone · 21/10/2021 21:47

That's awful. Who is stuck with her this Christmas? Have your answers ready if she starts hinting at a part two!