Some people have a chip on their shoulder so big..

[Pheasantlysurprised]

Example: spent xmas a few yrs ago in our favourite holiday cottage.

On this occasion we invited a family friend who would be otherwise alone that year. We were excited and looking for to it, etc, etc.

Once there, the friend descended into a sulk, but would not discuss the reason. Everywhere we went and everything we did, they found issue with it. I bought a reduced dress in a joules sale (I know that IS unreasonable ) and she wouldn't enter the shop.
We did a holiday food shop at Booths and clubbed together to spoil ourselves with goodies. Everything I put in the trolley was remarked upon. Apparently fresh vegetables or anything resembling salad was 'rabbit food' and those who 'fell for it' were pretentious.

This did strain the mood a bit but laughed it off. And on it went, regarding tv choices, walks, cooking, etc, until a fairly explosive but short argument on xmas eve because I didnt want to eat prawns (don't like them). It resolved quickly thankfully.

BUT the big thing that made me post after recalling it was the day we left the cottage. Our friend had the most lovely, largest room with an open fire and gorgeous furnishings. She complained when we ran the hoover round to check we'd left it clean. When we asked why she said "the owners are rich bastards and couldn't give a toss about the likes of us so they can sod off"
The 'likes of us' are just regular folk, I think.

She actually went into her room prior to us leaving and threw the covers off the bed and the cushions across the floor to 'teach them a thing or two'. Perhaps she didn't realise only the poor fucking cleaner would have to deal with it.

BTW the owner wasn't rich, just comfortable. We knew her. It all felt incredibly sour and is a mindset I can't relate to. We still see friend but are careful not to get her onto any such topic!

Is this what is commonly referred to as a 'chip'?
AIBU?

I have no idea if she has a chip on her shoulder but she sounds like a rude, ignorant pig and how and why you accepted her behaviour is beyond me.

Her behaviour at the end of the holiday was unbelievable and she should have been told to find her own way home.

I would imagine it is people tolerating her unbelievable rudeness is why she felt so comfortable behaving so badly.

Also she can't have an ounce of respect for herself or you, to behave so that way for an entire holiday.

If she was rotting on her own I wouldn't give her a moments thought again and I wouldn't hesitate to warn other family that might also be tempted to extend a similar kindness towards her.

That sounds a very difficult situation, OP, and keeping her at arm's length the best way forward. I would love to find out from her why she sounds so unhappy and critical.

She has lost the joy. She may not see it as she thinks she is knows everything perhaps? I knew someone also who had lost all joy. She was critical of everyone, thought everyone judged her for being a single parent (when I suspect it was because she was joyless) and liked to control every situation that we were ever jointly involved in. I decided to stop spending time with her because I felt like I couldn't breathe around her any more. There are elements of knowing her that I miss, but this felt like the right decision for me.

She sounds dreadful and that must have sucked the enjoyment out of that stay.

I have a friend who is lovely until he has had a few drinks and then he starts the subtle digs which get gradually less subtle the more he drinks.

He has openly admitted when sober that he feels like a failure ( financially) compared to my DH and another male friend who we socialise with regularly.

He has so many amazing talents and we are always admiring the stuff he has achieved but because it's not as financially rewarding as my DH's work he can't shake the feeling of not being good enough.

His own wife is a health professional who works really long hours but myself and the other wife in the group don't work. This is always the starting point for his digs. He talks about us sitting at home watching TV all day ( not at all true)

He then moves on to the fact that DH and I live in a "posh" town so he starts talking about all the "yummy mummies" and their kids called Tarquin and Sebastian. He does this when we are out in a pub or restaurant in our town and is always really loud about it so it's really embarrassing. He also likes to be provocative with his "anti woke" agenda and will purposely start a debate because he knows the rest of us will be shocked by what he is saying. He would never say any of those things when sober.

He has ruined so many of our nights out and weekends away over the last few years by going into a massive sulk about something but we always put it down to his mental health issues, say nothing and move on.

We usually see him and his wife quite frequently but after a day out in the summer ( the first in ages because of Covid ) when he kicked off again and ruined what should have been a lovely event ( a long overdue special birthday celebration) I calmly and quietly let him know I wasn't happy about what he was saying and we haven't seen them since. I'm sure we will get together at some point but he seems reluctant to respond to invitations at the moment.

However much money you have - there will always be someone who has more than you - if you can't get over that ( or indeed think how many people have less ) then I think a problem - a cliche - but is it not "envy is the thief of joy"

It's what's commonly referred to as a twat.

Really wondering if this is the same woman who joined a holiday of ours? Exactly the same scenario right down to messing the room up...wet towels added on the bed too.
Initials HP.
Avoid her like the plague now.

Sounds like an arsehole, have been around those types of class warfare warriors before, everything they've got is down to them, everything they haven't got is actively down to someone else stopping them from having it.

No wonder she spends Christmas on her own

^^ This

@AngelsWithSilverWings

Why would you subject yourself to years of that?

It sounds excruciating.

When you say 'a la the Kinks', do you mean 'country house'? (Animal farm, lots of rural charm in the country)

That's Blur

@billy1966 because when he isn't being like that he is good company. His mental health issues make him like that sadly. He's been through a really tough few years and when he drinks he takes it out on the people around him. We have made allowances for a long time now. I've known his wife for over 30 years and I don't want to lose her friendship. Despite all I've said I worry about him and want to know he is ok. My DH has reached out to him because he is worried about him. He assured him he was ok but we aren't convinced. I'm hoping to see his wife alone next month fir a birthday drink and will ask after him properly then.