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Original poster

How to politely say no to this friend

57 replies

HowToGrowASpine · 21/10/2021 10:40

A friend of mine has recently been telling me about these new dietary drinks she's been taking and I've noticed she's now aggressively promoting them on all her social media pages. She mentions them to me every time we meet up which is a few times a week.

I initially feigned interest 'that sounds interesting, I'll have a think about it', and after further prompting I informed her of a minor medical ailment which I didn't want to impact by taking any new supplements. A few days later she thrust her phone in my face from a webpage saying it was perfectly healthy for this ailment, but later when I googled it I found more articles (from more reputable sources) advising against taking them saying they could be damaging.

I'm a little upset my friend keeps pressing me on this despite my obvious health concerns, as she would no doubt have seen the scores of negative press around this, but was still happy to try to force them onto me. I've never been into diet fads and don't complain to my friends about my weight or needing to lose weight, so it's not like I baited this onslaught.

I want to politely ask my friend to stop pressing me on this but in a way so not to hurt her feelings as she's quite a sensitive person. I value this friendship and really enjoy her company, but lately I dread going over and facing this high pressure sales pitch type environment.

I have issues being assertive so welcome any advice you can give me.

Thank you.

OP posts:
Bobsyer · 21/10/2021 10:41

It’s an MLM. She won’t get less pushy, you are going to have to be blunt.

“I’m really not interested. Please stop asking” is the best way to go.

Cantstopthewaves · 21/10/2021 10:45

' To be honest, I'm not going to be trying them. I'm happy as I am. I'm pleased you like them and they're working for you and thanks for thinking of me- but no! " and change the subject.

HollowTalk · 21/10/2021 10:46

So she is sensitive but she is being aggressive with you? She can't take it but she can dish it out? Just tell her that you're not interested.

Aderyn21 · 21/10/2021 10:47

She's probably completely convinced that what she's offering you is good. So I wouldn't assume that she doesn't care about your health, not if she's a longstanding friend who you know to be a decent person.
But unfortunately she's probably been sucked into an MLM scheme, so I agree with a pp that you have to say that it isn't for you, that you are happy with what you are already doing.
Whatever you do, don't but it once to shut her up - she will never let up.
Also be prepared to see her less once she realises that you aren't a potential customer. If she is a really good friend is try to talk to her about the issues around these schemes and try to get her out of it.

LifeAdvice · 21/10/2021 10:48

I agree. It’s an MLM scheme and she will get more pushy.

However if you want to have a go and try and maintain the friendship, I’d just say you asked your doctor at your last checkup and he told you you can’t have them. That is the easy, non-assertive way to do it.

If you prefer to be honest, you could say “I’m pleased that’s working for you. You sound so happy and enthusiastic about them, that’s great. I don’t want to lose any weight, so no need to recommend to me right now, but if I ever change my mind, I’ll know to ask you.”

But that won’t stop her.

GabriellaMontez · 21/10/2021 10:48

When someone is that pushy you may have to be equally pushy back I'm afraid.

"I looked but I'm not interested, they're not a priority to me "

DreamerSeven · 21/10/2021 10:50

She may be sensitive but it doesn’t sound like she’s worried about upsetting you! I’d go with “I appreciate you’re enthusiastic about these drinks but I’m not going to be trying them please stop trying to change my mind.” And if she persists, “I’m a little upset you’re not respecting my feelings on this, for the sake of our friendship you need to stop trying to convince me when I’ve explained I’m not interested”.

TheSandgroper · 21/10/2021 10:55

I just say “oh, I don’t do any of that”. I try to be nice to my mates and make the feel valued but I don’t take crap either.

If anyone takes offence, they don’t tell me.

notanothertakeaway · 21/10/2021 10:58

Polite but firm

"Thanks but I'm not interested"

Don't engage in conversation. She'll have an answer to anything you might say

SnarkyBag · 21/10/2021 10:58

Your mistake was saying you’d think about it! Just say. I thanks it’s not for me. If she keeps pushing repeat like I said not for me thanks. Stop trying to justify your decision as it just invites counter argument and continues the conversation. You’re basically inviting her to prove you wrong so she can get a sale.

bunnybopbop · 21/10/2021 10:59

It's probably Juice Plus or Herbalife.

They're pyramid schemes. You have to be blunt with them as they won't stop pushing.

I've lost friendships over it as they push and push and push and in the end I tell them to F off.

They are commission based (they will sell you the world and say they earn a full time wage from their phone) it's all a load of bollocks.

Just be brutal and say you're not interested and won't entertain a conversation about it. They won't stop being pushy otherwise!

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 21/10/2021 11:00

She's not that sensitive, is she.

"I'm really not interested in this, please stop trying to sell to me! I'm finding it quite hurtful and off-putting."

JauntyJinty · 21/10/2021 11:02

I’m afraid the cult of MLM won't let her let you politely tell her no.

You'll have to rudely and bluntly tell her no, and even then she probably won't stop – they get told to take a “no” as “maybe later” (I can’t remember the exact wording but it’s something like that!)

3scape · 21/10/2021 11:05

Not a friend. I don't think anyone trying to sell something this aggressively has a friendly bone in their body. MLM s only appeal to users

Aprilx · 21/10/2021 11:06

I haven’t been in that scenario, but if I were, I can see myself being fairly nonchalant and would shrug and say “I don’t fancy it”. I can’t imagine it being discussed any further.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 21/10/2021 11:07

You need to be 100% blunt with these MLM people.

Their 'training' tells them to be as pushy as possible, to use anything to convince you, and they get set unrealistic targets every month and press their people to meet them.

Not too long after my daughter died and old neighbour asked what she died of, and she told me her shitty MLM pills or juice or whatever would have prevented that.

I highly doubt bloody aloe Vera would have prevented a muscular and neurological condition or the brittle bones that arose because of it Angry

My point being that none of these people give a fuck about anything besides their MLM.

Just say you have zero interest and never will so stop bugging you, but be prepared that she will fall out with you for not helping her 'small business'.

UnsuitableHat · 21/10/2021 11:10

The only way is ‘I’m not interested - please could you stop asking?’ or similar. Don’t give her reasons or she’ll find arguments against them. She may be sensitive in some ways but I think she’s being rude and pretty insensitive in others.

girlmom21 · 21/10/2021 11:13

"No thanks. I'm not interested."

If she persists: "no thanks. I've told you I'm not interested and I'm quite upset you're putting so much pressure on me and not respecting my feelings."

If she carries on after that, end then friendship because she doesn't respect you.

SpindelWhorl · 21/10/2021 11:14

Sensitive? You mean moody, brittle, precious?

RedCarsGoFaster · 21/10/2021 11:14

Juice Plus by any chance?

JauntyJinty · 21/10/2021 11:14

@3scape

Not a friend. I don't think anyone trying to sell something this aggressively has a friendly bone in their body. MLM s only appeal to users
I don't think that's fair - most MLM sellers are victims themselves in my eyes.

They get sold on the promise of all the money they can make, but of course they have to spend first - Then they're desperatly trying to get back the money they have shelled out, which they can usually not afford. The con artists at the top are then pushing them to sell, sell sell - they don't care how many friendships get destroyed along the way as long asthey can skim a few quid!

godmum56 · 21/10/2021 11:15

@UnsuitableHat

The only way is ‘I’m not interested - please could you stop asking?’ or similar. Don’t give her reasons or she’ll find arguments against them. She may be sensitive in some ways but I think she’s being rude and pretty insensitive in others.
^^ this.....and believe me when I say its best in these circs, not to feign interst in the first place.
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/10/2021 11:16

It's an MLM.

Saying no is doing her a favour and you need to be blunt with MLM sellers.

IntermittentParps · 21/10/2021 11:20

she's quite a sensitive person.
She isn't really, if she can't pick up that you're not interested.

Just tell her, 'I've looked into it and my answer is no.' If she persists, a gentle 'I'm not talking about this any more'.

Branleuse · 21/10/2021 11:27

When you say "politely" do you mean so she doesnt take offense or get upset at all?

I think you maybe need to think about assertiveness, because I think id just say to her "look Sandra, I know youre really into these drinks and feel they work for you, but Im just not interested in these sort of supplements and am never going to buy them, so can we just agree to not talk about them or you and me are gonna fall out"