To find "mummy knows best" is stupid when it comes to medical things?

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My cousin's little boy (nearly 2) has a rash all over. Her Mum took him to Dr who said it's a viral rash. Cue loads of photos all over FB of his rash, and lots of anguish from Mum going "Dr says it's viral rash, but I'm not convinced!" And responses if "mummy knows best, hunni, take him to the dr's again babe"
She comes back the next day and again plasters her boys face and rash all over FB, and goes "Mummy does know best! I was right, he's got Hand Foot and Mouth!"
With lots of supportive responses going "you were right to trust your gut, mummy knows best!"

Excuse me.

HFAM rash IS A FUCKING VIRAL RASH.

The Dr was right the first time...

Mummy didn't know best, just thinks she does because the viral rash has a name...

🙄

Ugh

Often parents do know best I think. Not medical details but there's been stories of children sent away from hospitals with tragic outcomes. Rare I hope but it does happen. Adults know their own bodies too and a second opinion has saved lives.

Rare. Yes. In some cases a second opinion is needed.

But mostly no, they don't know better than the doctors. And cousin certainly didn't.

Sometimes mothers do know best. When ds1 was in NICU I just knew something was wrong even though the drs said he was fine. On my insistence they ran tests and sure enough he was developing a infection that they caught very early. The consultant there told me he never ver discounts mother intuition.

In this case though it does seem like the dr listened and was right the first time so not sure what the issue was.

yanbu, it's infuriating. If "mummy knows best" why take them to see a HCP at all?

The doctor should have identified what it was. A viral rash can be the bodies reaction to a virus. But HF&M is contagious and contagious. It can also be very painful and not all symptoms can be treated by over the counter medicines.
Children have died after being sent away with 'a virus'. The medical world's dismissal of viruses helped make people puzzled when Covid hit, because it was 'only a virus'. Doctors used to laugh at mums who thought that there babies could see, or who bf on demand.
As a parent of two children who have SN and had to fight for a diagnosis, sometimes mum does know best.

The doctor was right, the mother was right. Not sure what point you're trying to make here apart from you don't like your cousin.

There are plenty of mothers whose concerns about their children have been dismissed over and over again by GPs. My friend had to take her kid to the GP several times before they got tested for lymphoma - which it was.

@tocas

"yanbu, it's infuriating. If "mummy knows best" why take them to see a HCP at all?"

Because we need prescriptions for medicines that can be bought over the counter in other countries.

I think parents instincts that there is something not right with their child, can often be right. They might not know the medical details but they know their child and if they seem to be more ill than other people might realise.

My aunt had this with her second son. He seemed lethargic and very sleepy as a tiny baby. Health visitors and midwives fobbed it off as "thats just what babies are like" but it turned out he had a kidney infection and nearly died.

You know your own child, their normal demeanor and energy level.
So there is some merit in it.

I don't think hand foot and mouth is what doctors generally mean when they refer to a viral rash though.

And "it's just a virus" always puzzles me. Like meningitis, Ebola, AIDS......and Covid

Many of the most deadly illnesses are viruses.

Of course we have to take medical advice but when you spend all day and night with a small person you pick up on things not being right in all sorts of subtle ways. I used to be able to smell when my son had a temperature when he was tiny, before I'd got the thermometer out. Bit more difficult now he's a teenager, he doesn't let me sniff his head any more

I remember smelling that they were ill!

sorry, no YABU, we might not be medical experts, but unless you have spent time on time being fobbed off and made to feel like you're crazy by dismissive drs when you KNOW something is wrong/off, only to be proved right later when its much more serious, then you have no idea.

Also I have often gone to the doctor / health visitor about something wrong with the kid or myself and one of the questions they asked was 'well, are you concerned about it? Does it worry you?' - this is can be a useful question to work out if something is within the range of normal or if a patient's instincts are telling them something is wrong.

When I took DD1 to hospital despite her just having a temperate the paediatrician said to me “If Mum is worried then I’m worried.” She was admitted to be given antibiotics via drip. She had seen the GP the previous day.

I think it’s more stupid and potentially dangerous to ignore a parents concerns.

I mean it depends. In some cases I think the parent does know best. I knew there was something wrong with my son long before his diagnosis. There was a professional who would come out to observe him but during these times my son would be shy/withdrawn and would not behave as he often did otherwise. When we finally got his diagnosis I felt like saying ‘yes I know.’

In this case obviously it was in fact a viral rash but seems a bit odd that the first doctor didn’t say ‘it’s hand foot and mouth.’

It depends what it is and how you approach it, my son is prone to ear infections, I can tell when one has started, twice the GP hasn’t been able to find visible signs of infection, just a slightly raised temperature. On both those we were back to the GP the next day with increased pain and now visible signs of his infection.

Also with hf&m they would need to be off nursery. When people say ‘just a viral rash’ they often don’t mean something like hand foot and mouth.

The GP sent my nephew home with antibiotics for a uti.

He had appendicitis and if my sister hadn't taken him back to urgent care, he'd be severely ill or even dead by now.

And imo a viral rash is something that pops with a cold or such bug. Not something like Hand Foot and Mouth which needs more care.

@KrispyKale

I remember smelling that they were ill!

Yes!! The smell. I know that DD will start to get a temperature within hours of my
smelling it.

I don’t think it’s always completely clear cut. I do think there’s a lot to be said for maternal instincts.

When my dc was a baby, they lost an excessive amount of their birth weight, and failed to gain it back. I saw midwives, doctors, health visitors all told me it was a feeding issue, and advised supplementing with formula. I did as I was told, and dc gained minimal weight (at 6 week check, dc was still 4oz below birthweight.). I explained over and over that dc ate well, and that we needed help, because there was something clearly wrong. Doctor was adamant it was a feeding issue, diagnosed failure to thrive, and referred to hospital paediatrician. Paediatrician admitted us to ‘monitor feeding’, it was only when I cried and explained everything again that he agreed to blood and urine tests, to ‘put my mind at ease’. Less than 24 hours later dc was on antibiotics for an awful urine infection. We stopped supplementing (now under medical advice) and dc began gaining weight almost instantly. Medical professionals are human, and as such fallible. In this instance my instincts were right.

Anecdotally, a relative pregnant with her third baby knew something felt wrong. Midwife dismissed her concerns, as every pregnancy is different. Turned out, baby had been laying in a way that had put intense pressure on their ribs, meaning when they were born they struggled to breathe. They spent over a week in NICU.

Obviously medical professionals are trained and are doing their best, and more often than not will be right. But sometimes, a parents instincts are correct.

I know too many people who've been fobbed off by doctors as just anxious parents when it turns out that there is actually something wrong. Sometimes doctors let their own biases affect their judgement, they see an over protective mum being dramatic about her pfb, rather than a mum who knows her child and can tell there's something wrong. I know I had to fight for health care for both my kids, one of them ended up in hospital before anyone would take me seriously.

I hate the “just a virus” attitude. “Just” a virus nearly killed ds when he was a baby.

Covid is a virus!

I do think there is a lot to be said for parental instinct though, especially when it comes to children who have a lot going on medically - parents soon become experts in them

Also, for what it’s worth my dc has had both a viral rash following a cold, and HFAM. They’re really not the same.
And as a previous poster has said, technically a meningitis rash is a viral rash.

Well yes, to a point... but then if I hadn't taken my DD to A&E despite the GP's reassurance that she was fine, then she'd have died.

So like most things, it's not always black and white!