To find "mummy knows best" is stupid when it comes to medical things?

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My cousin's little boy (nearly 2) has a rash all over. Her Mum took him to Dr who said it's a viral rash. Cue loads of photos all over FB of his rash, and lots of anguish from Mum going "Dr says it's viral rash, but I'm not convinced!" And responses if "mummy knows best, hunni, take him to the dr's again babe"
She comes back the next day and again plasters her boys face and rash all over FB, and goes "Mummy does know best! I was right, he's got Hand Foot and Mouth!"
With lots of supportive responses going "you were right to trust your gut, mummy knows best!"

Excuse me.

HFAM rash IS A FUCKING VIRAL RASH.

The Dr was right the first time...

Mummy didn't know best, just thinks she does because the viral rash has a name...

🙄

Ugh

Yabu. Doctors screw up sometimes. No one is infallible, not even someone wearing a white coat.

And as a previous poster has said, technically a meningitis rash is a viral rash

While you can get viral meningitis, it is usually mild compared to the bacterial version, which can be rapidly fatal.

The “rash” associated with meningitis is the non- blanching septicaemic rash is caused by the bacterial form.

When I took DD1 to hospital despite her just having a temperate the paediatrician said to me “If Mum is worried then I’m worried.”

And its extension, from our GP: '...If Granny is worried too, then I'm definitely worried.'

Ds has at times had severe self injurious behaviour due to being in pain. It has been dismissed by HCPs ( including consultants) as being due to his autism and severe learning disability. When it was investigated further because we refused to accept this, they were found to have got it wrong. Sometimes parents do know best.

My mother's instinct has saved both of my children.
Dc1 was very ill for 5 weeks before birth as I had asymptomatic pre eclampsia but I knew something was wrong - we both nearly died.
I've also been insistent that he be seen at the gp even though they said he had "just a cough", ended up being rushed to hospital with respiratory distress and thats just some of it.
Dc2 was very ill and the paramedic told me he was fine but took us to hospital anyway as I insisted because he was only 3 weeks old. We ended up being blue lighted to the rvi for emergency surgery to save his life. If I had listened to the paramedics and health visitor (saw him that day) my son would have died that night

I think it's a bit of both. You can't instinctively know the diagnosis for your child but you can know that something is wrong. You can know if the child is likely in pain, and you can know if they are more seriously ill based on various things but this is not a magic instinct. Its based on your potentially subconscious observations of your child.

I think for every story of children who were misdiagnosed and parents had to fight for, there are many more stories of parents that were just being overcautious. And you have to remember remember people over exaggerate, and Dr's aren't infallible. You can't believe everything you hear and read. Im going to say Mothers assessment, rather than instinct, is an important part of assessing a child but mother does not always know better than the medical professionals. @elliejjtiny post is spot on, mother and medical professionals need to work together.

I think in some cases mums do know best though. When my little one isn't well I can sort of smell the fever on her.
My oh thinks I'm crazy but a clever sort of crazy! Because if I check her temperature after saying she smells feverish it's always high!

It's not instinct, it is knowing my child. When you have a non verbal child for 15 years you become the expert at knowing when something is wrong.

There's absolutely merit in knowing as a parent something is wrong with your child. I've been fobbed off several times with "it's just a virus", twice this ended in a hospitalised DS with severe bronchitis, he couldn't breathe by himself. Several other less serious things also. So no, I disagree. Often parents know their child and if they didn't push, the outcome could be fatal.

@tocas

yanbu, it's infuriating. If "mummy knows best" why take them to see a HCP at all?

Because doesn’t have a prescription pad. What a twatty response

I actually don't think "viral rash" and "hand foot and mouth" are the same diagnosis.

Viral rash could be any number of rashes with different treatments suitable. And different contagious elements.

But I also believe parents do know.

I knew my ds has something (suspected genetic) and suspected neuromuscular.

Eventually got a diagnosis.

@KrispyKale

I remember smelling that they were ill!

I've heard this before too. I haven't experienced it other than the poorly breath smell.

I can always smell when DS is ill, I don’t know what it is but I can smell it

Dr's get things wrong and so do mums OP.

When you take your child to the GP they don't always know tbh and they are busy and your appointment is time limited. So as a mum you know if something is not quite right usually it's just the fancy terminology and so on that differs sometimes.

Well both my children could possibly be dead if I hadn’t insisted on seeing a doctor again so obviously I disagree with you.
Doctors make mistakes just like any other body of workers but most people’s mistakes can be corrected.

I absolutely think that a parent’s gut feeling is important. Children can be tricky to diagnose and parents know what is and isn’t normal for their child. The NHS website even alludes to it (it says something like ‘seek advice if your child is not him or herself and you are worried’) and as lots of posters on here have said, good doctors place a lot of value on a parent’s gut feeling about their child’s well-being.

But to be fair people who plaster pictures of rashes/injuries etc on Facebook ARE annoying.

Oh @ABCeasyasdohrayme I'm so so sorry. prayers.

I knew there was something with DD1. For almost 3 years I was told I was neurotic. She has a brain malformation, ASD (only diagnosed at 15!!), severe learning difficulties and goes to special school. It was only once she joined a preschool and they couldn't do anything with her that they realised I was right.

Last year I was convinced DD1 had an eating order. I was bounced around by CAMHS, paediatricians, dieticians and GPs. Eventually, 8 months later, I phoned the GP and said 'her heart rate is 144 when she stands. Reassure me it's safe for her to be at home.' We were sent back to A&E and admitted to paeds, finally getting access to a psychiatrist. She's still under treatment, was weight restored but now needing to gain again.

DD2 - I changed her school 3 times and home educated her in between because nobody could see her distress. Eventually, her 3rd school saw it. 8 years after I first raised it, she was diagnosed with ASD.

The thing about the poorly child smell I remember is that it is or was almost impossible to describe - it wasn't a manky smell or a sweaty or sweet smell it was just not their usual smell! Definitely more noticeable when they were very tiny. It's not good or bad just sometimes distinct. When you think about it there are dogs that can detect diseases like diabetes and cancer from scent so why shouldn't mothers with their close bond be tapping into something too.

To be fair, there are times when I get it wrong too. I forced DD2 in to school on Friday. She came home early with nausea and a sore throat. She had coronavirus. She told me she was ill but I thought she was exaggerating.

Mum's DO know best.
Every child's parents I met at the hospital said they were aware something was wrong with their child and they were robbed off by Drs saying it was vital infections.
If we hadn't pushed and argued,our children would not be here now and some are,very sadly not.
So just shut up when you know nothing.

Of course parents know their children acutely and will notice changes that strangers, even medically trained ones will not.

I do think a mothers' instinct is very powerful.

That's not to say that there aren't hypochondriacs out there, but I think as a broad rule of thumb, parents really should be listened to. That has been my experience thankfully when I have had concerns about my children, one with a food allergy and once with bronchiolitis.

The doctor was right, the mother was right. Not sure what point you're trying to make here apart from you don't like your cousin.

I wasn't sure what point you're making either, OP.

People on social media say all sorts of things to make people feel good, or bad, to be supportive or be judgey, etc.

Are you saying people who say things shouldn't be on social media? Or that they should always give opinions backed up by science?

It's Facebook - people are going to give their opinions!

YABU. When doctors say, 'a viral rash', they mean a non-specific rash that's come up because of the baby bring generally unwell.

Heck, measles is caused by a virus, but you'd be pretty ticked off if your baby with measles was dismissed as having 'a viral rash' and sent home.