Ear piercing without consent at Meadowhall in Sheffield (might be triggering)

[PoetryLaser]

I'm amazed that I can't find another thread on this – and I know I'm not being unreasonable to find this video incredibly upsetting. Poor child, perhaps six or seven being pinned to the floor while having her ears pierced in a jewellery store at the Meadowhall in Sheffield, screaming her head off saying "no no no".
Should ear piercing be banned for say under 12s, until they're old enough to consent?
Warning - the video is very distressing to watch: twitter.com/mrscjos/status/1450020437744885761?s=10

While this video is an appalling watch and I'm horrified, I'm wondering what we're seeing here, really. I couldn't see a piercing gun in the staff member's hands, and the poor girl is clearly screaming 'get off my ears! get off them! ow ow ow' as the woman bends over and seems to fiddle with something.

Could there not be a possibility that the piercings have already happened by that stage and that this recording is the aftermath, where the butterfly backs are adjusted or fitted to the stud? (of course if that's the case, we still don't know if the girl gave her consent to the actual piercing.)

I had mine done at 19 at a booth in Debenhams (didn't know about needle piercing at that stage and wish I had, they got my holes mismatched for one thing). They used a gun, it was fairly painful and then they adjusted the back and that really HURT.

Having said that, I certainly don't want to let anyone off the hook here. I think piercing young children is an appalling practice, I think using guns is dangerous, I think doing it out in the open like this is bad practice, and if that poor girl had consented at one point, she was clearly unprepared for how sore it would feel afterwards (if that's what this video records).

I don't think ear piercings should be banned for under 12s, but if the kid doesn't want it, or if the kid doesn't want the second one done because the first hurt, then there's no need to go through with it!

@Clocktopus

That poor kid.

I got DDs ears done when she was 6, almost 7. She asked for it done and had been asking for ages as a few in her class had them and her cousin did too. I chose a piercing parlour that had been recommended by several of the other mums. The guy doing her piercing told me that he doesn't pierce screaming children, he doesn't allow any child to be held down, and that at the first sign if no or don't he wouldn't go ahead. I even had to sign a form saying I accepted this and that I understood if it happened after the sterile packs had been opened then I'd still have to pay. He asked DD if it was okay to go ahead at every stage of the process and had a second person in so that both ears could be done at the same time with minimal fuss. DD didn't even realise it was all finished until he said she could get off the table and there were no tears.

There should be laws around piercing distressed children, piercing the under 5s, and a ban on high steet stores such as Claires doing them.

This sounds a much better way of doing it but why on Earth is there any need to pierce a 6 year olds ears.

Just too young. Shouldn’t be allowed

That poor little girl I'm dumbfounded that four adults allowed that situation to escalate!

@notso

That's absolutely disgusting. I lost my first job in a hairdressers as a teen for refusing to hold down a screaming six month old baby for ear piercing.

And that is why there needs to be a law change, so that low paid retail staff aren't put in this position.

It is all very well saying the staff should have refused but if you will be sacked for refusing and need that job to pay the rent and feed your kids it is a very difficult position.

I'd remove ear piercing from high street shops and classify it with tattoos, body piercing etc. It should be done only on people who can give genuine informed consent by technicians who are licenced and inspected and who understand consent.

I would add an age limit to help protect the staff and children against the effects of coercive parents. At say 13 it should be fairly easy to confirm consent and be confident that the child understands the effects etc.

That's disgusting.

It maybe ok for e.g. vaccinations but not ear piercing. Staff and parents should be ashamed of themselves.

I'm a HCP and the only time I've pinned I screaming, resisting child down in that manner and stabbed them with needles was because they were at imminent risk of dying from anaphylaxis. This was years ago and it still haunts me.

I don't understand how anyone other than a sadist could do what is shown in that video to a child for purely cosmetic reasons.

Awful. Children should absolutely not get piercings until they are old enough to consent.

However I disagree with some PPs comments that guns are always bad and should be banned. I have 2x holes in each ear done by gun and I was quite glad that I had them done by gun, especially for the first ones, as it’s less daunting than a needle. Never had any issues with them.

This is awful, and I just don’t get it. I do not underhand having any strong feelings at all that your child must have their ears pierced. Why would that be something that you felt so strongly must happen, that you’d hold a screaming, crying child down? The thought process is just beyond me.

This is a mother completely devoid of any moral compass or care for her child. That clip is harrowing abs the mother deserves to be shamed every day for that.

I studied crime and criminology for a semester but don't know the answer to this one so if anyone has a law degree I would be interested to know if a bystander intervened by forcibly removing those restraining and assaulting the child who would be responsible for assault?

The parents/shop workers for abusing the child or the bystanders who laid hands on adults to protect the child?

I don't think I could just stand and video that.

I have had an extensive argument in Claire's before with a mother who was getting her screaming baby's ears pierced. I have no shame in telling parents that I think it's assault and abusive to disregard their child's bodily autonomy and modify the child's body before the child can give any kind of meaningful content. And I'm someone with a lot of piercings and tattoos, so it's not that I don't agree with piercings in general.

If I had been in the shop in the video while that poor child was being restrained and assaulted while verbally denying consent, I would have started kicking over the displays and shelves to get the staff's attention on me instead of assaulting that child.

It should be absolutely illegal to perform a piercing on a child who cannot verbally express that they want it done (special needs aside), and definitely illegal to continue if the child is distressed and denies consent!

I'm also examining why, in the instance I saw in Claire's, I just expressed my view and didn't physically intervene, but feel sure I would have physically intervened in this case. The only real difference is that the baby in Claire's didn't know what was happening and couldn't actually say 'no'. Perhaps it's because the baby probably won't remember the event, no long-term emotional damage done. Whereas a fully aware little girl will carry emotional and mental scars for a long time. The physical assault is the same, but the mental damage is greater in an older child. But don't mind me, just thinking out loud.

2bf by videoing we have evidence so at least something has come from that...

If I had been in the shop in the video while that poor child was being restrained and assaulted while verbally denying consent, I would have started kicking over the displays and shelves to get the staff's attention on me instead of assaulting that child.

Really? Instead of just telling them you were filming it and calling the police?

As for OPs question on age, I willfully consented at 5 year old.

I think children (NOT babies) can consent but it's the child unforced consent that matters not the parents wants.

However, a side issue is if you have them pierced young as you grow the hole migrates into the wrong alignment, it's not a huge issue but something to consider.

If I had been in the shop in the video while that poor child was being restrained and assaulted while verbally denying consent, I would have started kicking over the displays and shelves to get the staff's attention on me instead of assaulting that child

Now that would be worth filming.

@MrsRobbieHart

If I had been in the shop in the video while that poor child was being restrained and assaulted while verbally denying consent, I would have started kicking over the displays and shelves to get the staff's attention on me instead of assaulting that child.

Really? Instead of just telling them you were filming it and calling the police?

Okay, to be fair, I left out the bit where I would have spoken to them first, but would fully expect to be told to piss off and mind my own business, as happened in Claire's.

And I will concede that threatening to call the police might also be a better strategy, but apparently that's not the natural direction my brain goes.

@mam0918

As for OPs question on age, I willfully consented at 5 year old.

I think children (NOT babies) can consent but it's the child unforced consent that matters not the parents wants.

However, a side issue is if you have them pierced young as you grow the hole migrates into the wrong alignment, it's not a huge issue but something to consider.

Do you genuinely think that a 5 year old can provided informed consent though?

Saying “I want it” isn’t the same as understanding what your actually agreeing to.

Personally I think piercings should be treated the same as tattoos. I assume in this case, the kid got scared and changed her mind...mum didn't want to pay for the procedure only for it to be 'wasted' by not going ahead...so went for the restrain approach. The shop should have stopped, but I guess they get given hell by parents who don't want to pay cause their kid changes their mind. It's a disaster start from finish.
I was 30 before I got my ears pierced because I was too scared when I was young and then never really wanted it done until I shaved my hair off and found that ear rings offset the baldy look a little.

That's terrible. My daughter got her ears pierced last year, for her 10th birthday. She'd been asking for years, but we waited until we thought she was old enough. I took her to a professional piercer at a tattoo shop, and he made it very clear when I scheduled the appointment that if she struggled or got upset he wouldn't do it.

I dont know if this is ABH or GBH but would be very surprised if it was not classified as one of them.

The company shouldn't allow it. The staff member shouldn't have done it and the parents should be utterly and completely ashamed with themselves. They should all be prosecuted IMHO.

Poor little girl

What message are parents sending their daughters by saying they have to feel pain in order to look more attractive?

@Sirzy yes, I think children can comprehend what piercing entails. I was 5yo too. My sister got hers done the same day, so I fully knew what was going to happen.

I do not agree with the video and restraining a child. However not all children behave like that.

[quote k1233]@Sirzy yes, I think children can comprehend what piercing entails. I was 5yo too. My sister got hers done the same day, so I fully knew what was going to happen.

I do not agree with the video and restraining a child. However not all children behave like that.[/quote]
We will have to agree to disagree, I don’t believe any 5 year old can fully consent to the procedure itself and the aftercare involved.

They may think they want it but that’s not the same as informed consent

I think they should ban ear piercing on children until they are at least 11