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Original poster

Ear piercing without consent at Meadowhall in Sheffield (might be triggering)

335 replies

PoetryLaser · 20/10/2021 09:53

I'm amazed that I can't find another thread on this – and I know I'm not being unreasonable to find this video incredibly upsetting. Poor child, perhaps six or seven being pinned to the floor while having her ears pierced in a jewellery store at the Meadowhall in Sheffield, screaming her head off saying "no no no".
Should ear piercing be banned for say under 12s, until they're old enough to consent?
Warning - the video is very distressing to watch: twitter.com/mrscjos/status/1450020437744885761?s=10

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 20/10/2021 11:00

@TheOnlyMrsM

Who are the 6% who voted this is reasonable? Come on - show yourselves. Explain why.
Well I didn’t vote but I’ve explained why I think op is unreasonable. I don’t think saying all ear piercing should be banned until age 11/12/13 whatever arbitrary age op decides is the answer to this specific problem. I also think it’s unrealistic.

I think that obviously there needs to be better training and clear policies. We don’t know what happened but if there was good training and a clear policy re distressed children then the steps of what the workers should have done would be very different. To me, they should have said sorry we aren’t able to pierce distressed or unconsenting children due to store policy. That way the workers are protected from complaints as they are backed up by the business.

Sirzy · 20/10/2021 11:02

@ArabellaScott

Children can't give informed consent. It's a procedure with a risk of infection.
Exactly there is a difference between a child wanting pretty early rings and them actually understanding the risks
daisyjgrey · 20/10/2021 11:03

Piercing shouldn't be legal anywhere other than piercing studios with fully trained staff. No 'guns'. Needles only.

Dinosauria · 20/10/2021 11:03

@TheOnlyMrsM

Some of us, as parents, carers and/or as medical staff, have to physically restrain children or vulnerable adults when all else fails - and I mean all else for essential care or medical or dental procedures, and that feels bad enough. But to do it for a cosmetic vanity? No. No. No.
I was thinking this. I had to help and agree to restraining of my six year old in hospital after all else failed and 10 years later it still upsets me and it was an essential medical procedure. How the mother can live with herself I don't know.
Mistressofnone · 20/10/2021 11:04

This is incredibly upsetting. I'm pleased the police are involved and hope that social services will be too. That poor little girl.

I think making it illegal before age 12 is a good idea. What's the difference between ear piercing and tattooing a child?

Fetarabbit · 20/10/2021 11:05

It's outrageous, I remember after years of pestering to have mine pierced, on my 10th birthday I was 'allowed' (finally wahoo). We went and I was really scared and the piercer was lovely, explained that there was no rush, she wasn't happy to do it unless I was 100% and I went back a few months later and happily had it done- but the first time I was no way near as upset as the poor girl in the video and they still were very careful to ensure I wanted it done.

Fetarabbit · 20/10/2021 11:06

Making it illegal will just mean people that way inclined will just do it at home, it's easy and cheap enough to buy a piercing gun or find someone who has one. But I do agree there should be much tighter restrictions, not sure what though.

Kanaloa · 20/10/2021 11:09

@Mistressofnone

This is incredibly upsetting. I'm pleased the police are involved and hope that social services will be too. That poor little girl.

I think making it illegal before age 12 is a good idea. What's the difference between ear piercing and tattooing a child?

Well there’s obviously a difference isn’t there? I mean would you tattoo a 12yo? Probably not and yet you think it’s acceptable to pierce the ears of a 12yo.
MrsRobbieHart · 20/10/2021 11:10

Personally I don’t agree with any body parts being pierced before 16. I’ve never understood why ears were treated differently than noses or lips. Would they have held her down to pierce her nose because her mum wanted it? No. I guarantee they wouldn’t. They’d have been horrified that she asked. But ears? Yeah, sit on her while I grab the gun. Hmm it makes no sense. There is no logical justification for allowing children’s ears to be pierced.

ancientgran · 20/10/2021 11:10

@Fetarabbit

Making it illegal will just mean people that way inclined will just do it at home, it's easy and cheap enough to buy a piercing gun or find someone who has one. But I do agree there should be much tighter restrictions, not sure what though.
I think people would notice once it was done e.g. teacher, doctor or others.
PjsOn · 20/10/2021 11:11

I can't watch the video the description is enough where children are involved. I was in Claires a few months back with my not even 2 month old, there was a woman in there with a baby the same age getting the baby's ears pierced. I had to leave the shop as I was so upset at what they were doing. I wanted to shout STOP as dramatic as I sound, there is just no need to be making holes in your baby's ears. An infection in such a small baby could be fatel, complete madness!! I'd like to see it banned until the person can consent, maybe 13 if accompanied by a consenting adult, 16 if alone.

CoffeeWithCheese · 20/10/2021 11:11

My 9 year old is desperate to get hers done and I've made her wait so far just because I know she's the sort who'll freak out after having one done and refuse the second, then be absolutely devastated she didn't get the second one done (she's near a Shakesperian tragedy with a paper cut).

ChorizoJacketPotato · 20/10/2021 11:12

They should be done for ABH.

IAAP · 20/10/2021 11:12

@SoniaFouler

Well, whose benefit was that for as the girl clearly didn’t want (or changed her mind about getting) her ears pierced. Never mind, at least mother and grandmother got what they wanted..
I cried watching that. FFS how do we teach our daughters about consent and controlling who hurts them when people do this! Awful. Awful. Why didn’t someone call the police and intervene.

My daughter had hers done at her own wish when she was 12. She was spoken to alone and all 3 of us, me, her and the piercer were clear - she changes her mind she can stop

MrsRobbieHart · 20/10/2021 11:12

@Fetarabbit

Making it illegal will just mean people that way inclined will just do it at home, it's easy and cheap enough to buy a piercing gun or find someone who has one. But I do agree there should be much tighter restrictions, not sure what though.
Well that applies to anything that’s illegal, doesn’t it? It’s illegal to tattoo under 18s. People still do it (I was 15 when I had my first) so does that mean we should just make it legal?
IAAP · 20/10/2021 11:13

@MrsRobbieHart

Personally I don’t agree with any body parts being pierced before 16. I’ve never understood why ears were treated differently than noses or lips. Would they have held her down to pierce her nose because her mum wanted it? No. I guarantee they wouldn’t. They’d have been horrified that she asked. But ears? Yeah, sit on her while I grab the gun. Hmm it makes no sense. There is no logical justification for allowing children’s ears to be pierced.
I said this but all the girls in my daughters primary in year 6 had been done I made her wait until 12 but she really wanted it done
Peraltiago · 20/10/2021 11:14

That is just awful. Not quite the same scenario but when I was six I was pinned down for a medical procedure - I needed stitches on my face and was terrified. They sent my parents out of the room, two nurses held me down and the doctor stitched my face with no anaesthetic. I can honestly say it's caused me no end of issues with medical procedures. The feeling of powerlessness is just horrendous. The fact that this is an unnecessary cosmetic procedure and it's the girls own family holding her down... just wow. I hope she won't have any lasting issues from it.

MrsRobbieHart · 20/10/2021 11:15

I said this but all the girls in my daughters primary in year 6 had been done I made her wait until 12 but she really wanted it done

My son was the same. All the boys in his class went through a stage of having an ear pierced. He begged and pleaded with me. I said no. Repeatedly. He really wanted it done. I still said no. I’m the parent.

TheOnlyMrsM · 20/10/2021 11:16

@Rubyupbeat

The Mother is the most disgusting one here, I am sorry. Yes, the store is totally wrong, but, they have no emotional attachment to the child. Awful, just Awful!
I think the stores are equally to blame. If you provide a service, people will come. If you provide a service and do not require consent, people like this will come.

I don't know who has taken the child and is restraining her. Is one her mother? Whoever it is, the level of 'emotional attachment' must be questioned.

Emotional attachment or not, there is the duty of care.

Pinned down by two adults on a dirty floor and for all to see. Where is the respect for her body, her personal autonomy, her dignity?

This video will always be out there of this little girl as she grows up and when she is an adult. She certainly doesn't deserve that, but all the adults involved do.

Gonnagetgoing · 20/10/2021 11:16

@Sirzy

A lot of young children like the idea of 'pretty earrings' in their ears but don't realise the process used to get the holes.

Which is the process shouldn’t be undertaken until someone can give informed consent and understand the whole process of piercing and after care.

No harm will come to anyone from waiting a few years!

Of course! I waited until I was 18 to get my ears pierced.

My DM's own DM (my nana) would've liked me to have got them pierced e.g. when I was 11/12 but my DM put her foot down and said no!

Fetarabbit · 20/10/2021 11:16

Well that applies to anything that’s illegal, doesn’t it? It’s illegal to tattoo under 18s. People still do it (I was 15 when I had my first) so does that mean we should just make it legal?

It's a lot harder not to mention expensive to get hold of or know someone with tattoo equipment. You can get a disposable ear piercing gun with studs for 99p- a lot more accessible.

MrsRobbieHart · 20/10/2021 11:18

It's a lot harder not to mention expensive to get hold of or know someone with tattoo equipment. You can get a disposable ear piercing gun with studs for 99p- a lot more accessible.

Oh so we only make things illegal that will be hard to do illegally? Makes sense… Confused

Sally090807 · 20/10/2021 11:22

Boycott the store

mswales · 20/10/2021 11:23

The police are investigating according to news reports

MrsRobbieHart · 20/10/2021 11:23

I mean using the “difficulty” logic, It would be extremely easy for a tattoo studio to illegally tattoo a 15 year old, they already have all the equipment. Literally the only thing they have to do is not ask for ID. But it’s still illegal. Just like if it was made illegal to pierce under 16s then the likes of Claire’s or lovissa could just carry on doing it. But most of them want to be able to carry on operating and won’t risk their jobs or liberty to pierce a strangers ear. Making it illegal creates a change in culture.