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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ear piercing without consent at Meadowhall in Sheffield (might be triggering)

335 replies

PoetryLaser · 20/10/2021 09:53

I'm amazed that I can't find another thread on this – and I know I'm not being unreasonable to find this video incredibly upsetting. Poor child, perhaps six or seven being pinned to the floor while having her ears pierced in a jewellery store at the Meadowhall in Sheffield, screaming her head off saying "no no no".
Should ear piercing be banned for say under 12s, until they're old enough to consent?
Warning - the video is very distressing to watch: twitter.com/mrscjos/status/1450020437744885761?s=10

OP posts:
cheeselover2021 · 20/10/2021 15:27

That turned my stomach. I wish I hadn't seen it. That little girl is beyond distressed, she's terrified.

I just can't fathom how staff carried on under those circumstances. And as for her mother and grandmother. WTAF.
Her little voice screaming no and get off me.

For bloody earrings!

Warmduscher · 20/10/2021 15:31

It’s very distressing to watch and if she was piercing the child’s ears for the first time it absolutely should be a police matter, but tbh I can’t see a gun in the shop assistant’s hand either.

Warmduscher · 20/10/2021 15:31

But I suppose it will be easy enough to find out either way.

Ledition · 20/10/2021 15:47

That made me a bit tearful to watch and I'm usually a bit of a cold fish. Had to stop it as I have a child the same age and I feel sick at the thought of anyone doing this to her. Fucking vile pricks.

My DD has been asking me to have her ears pierced for a couple of years now. I've told her when she's 10 (no good logic behind choosing that age, simply because it was the age I was when I had mine done) however I would wholeheartedly support a ban on under 12's if it prevented disgusting behaviour like that video. Awful Sad

Ledition · 20/10/2021 15:49

What sort of lesson is that teaching that poor girl about body autonomy and consent? If she thinks even her own mum and grandmother can erode her boundaries that like there's a worrying future ahead for her.

TurquoiseDragon · 20/10/2021 15:53

I've seen a tweet that the person who took the video has been traced, I guess this is because they're a witness. I really hope that the mother gets prosecuted.

fairislecable · 20/10/2021 16:11

That is disgusting Sad.

Who is that little girl going to trust in future?

I hope that all people who see this will refuse to patronise the business that has such poorly qualified staff.

What a barbaric practice.

LittleMysSister · 20/10/2021 16:13

@TurquoiseDragon

I've seen a tweet that the person who took the video has been traced, I guess this is because they're a witness. I really hope that the mother gets prosecuted.
Probably more likely to be for filming and posting without permission.
fairislecable · 20/10/2021 16:14

The Lovisa customer has refined taste and understands the importance of the perfect accessory. She’s social, confident and stylish.

This quote is taken from their own website!!!!!

They missed out the bit “ she’s screaming, terrified and a child”

shouldistop · 20/10/2021 16:15

@LittleMysSister why? She was filming in a shop, no expectation of privacy in a shop so there was no criminal offence. The shop, I suppose could object to someone filming on their property but that would be a civil matter, the police wouldn't be interested.

coffeepleeease · 20/10/2021 16:19

Child abuse. Absolutely disgusting

Tinacollada · 20/10/2021 16:20

Not read the whole thread but I have seen that South Yorkshire police are looking into this

Tagcurious · 20/10/2021 16:20

@LittleMysSister Absolute rubbish. The person who filmed this did nothing wrong.

Nat6999 · 20/10/2021 16:21

The police are dealing with it. Best to leave them to do their job.

hangrylady · 20/10/2021 16:22

That's absolutely appalling, I think I'd have intervened if I'd been walking past. However I have voted YABU because I don't think ear piercing should be banned for under 12s as long as the child wants it done and is not distressed (clearly not the case here). My DD asked for hers done age 9 and I took her to a reputable place who don't use piercing gun but if at any point she had changed her mind that would have been OK.

LittleMysSister · 20/10/2021 16:23

Whoaaaa I wasn't saying I support it, just meant that I wouldn't be surprised in the current world of not even being able to film your own child's school play if that was the reason why they were traced, especially as the footage shows the child.

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 20/10/2021 16:24

I hate to say it but I think SS need to visit this family. Fucking appalling.

CharityBallsUp · 20/10/2021 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

MrsRobbieHart · 20/10/2021 16:27

@ElvisPresleyHadABaby

I hate to say it but I think SS need to visit this family. Fucking appalling.
Why do you hate to say it? SS is entirely appropriate in this case.
Pixxie7 · 20/10/2021 16:39

I think the boundaries regarding consent have become blurred it used be straightforward if a 16 year old used to be considered competent now we are 12 year olds to make decisions. The Situation needs to be sorted what every age is settled at eventually and hopefully then this time won’t happen again.

ZoeCM · 20/10/2021 16:48

I'm not sure the mother could have guessed that taking her daughter to get her ears pierced would result in a police investigation. Let's hope she takes this as a wake-up call, rather than blaming her daughter for making a fuss.

Sirzy · 20/10/2021 16:51

@Pixxie7

I think the boundaries regarding consent have become blurred it used be straightforward if a 16 year old used to be considered competent now we are 12 year olds to make decisions. The Situation needs to be sorted what every age is settled at eventually and hopefully then this time won’t happen again.
It’s never been straightforward, and the age you can consent for something will vary from thing to thing.

For something like ear piercing then a young child can remove consent simply by saying no. It’s not a needed procedure so if they say no that should be the end of it.

ancientgran · 20/10/2021 16:56

@steff13

That's terrible. My daughter got her ears pierced last year, for her 10th birthday. She'd been asking for years, but we waited until we thought she was old enough. I took her to a professional piercer at a tattoo shop, and he made it very clear when I scheduled the appointment that if she struggled or got upset he wouldn't do it.
I wonder if a man would feel more uncomfortable in this situation? I mean it looks horrific but can you imagine the uproar if a man was involved.
Tagcurious · 20/10/2021 16:57

@LittleMysSister A school is not a public place. A shopping centre is. That is an important distinction.

ThirdElephant · 20/10/2021 17:07

@Pixxie7

I think the boundaries regarding consent have become blurred it used be straightforward if a 16 year old used to be considered competent now we are 12 year olds to make decisions. The Situation needs to be sorted what every age is settled at eventually and hopefully then this time won’t happen again.
Well, I guess, but the blurring is a good thing overall, because at least it means we are thinking about kids having their own autonomy. Go back far enough and kids had no autonomy whatsoever- they were the property of their parents to do with as they wished. Yes, very simple, but absolutely terrible.

I don't think it's ever been both simple and morally sound.