Page 7 | To be shocked and hurt by this

SquirrelsAndNuts · 2021-10-19T21:43:01+00:00

I didn't know what to put as a title. I do feel shocked. And I think a little hurt. I have a friend I met a few years ago. We are in the same line of work. We live quite far away from each other. There’s around a couple of hundred miles between us, but we stay in touch regularly. Anyway, we were chatting this week about work, and I decided to have a quick look on her website. I was shocked to see that she has copied and pasted everything from my website onto her own. It’s all the same - word for word. I don’t think at all this will have a negative impact on my business. But I just feel so shocked by this. I’m not sure if I also feel quite hurt? Or foolish? I couldn’t quite believe it at first. I really don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do nothing and pretend that I haven’t seen it, but I also would prefer for her to remove it. However, I don’t want to risk hurting her or embarrassing her, or jeopardising our friendship. What would you do?

MadeForThis · 20/10/2021 11:31

Sounds like you sell the same stuff. Is it a website or a Facebook page?

ExD1938 · 20/10/2021 11:31

Someone once copied and posted about a dozen photos I'd posted from my niece's christening, and I complained to FB.

I got nowhere.
Apparently once you post anything on FB they own the copywrite, not you. It's in the 'rules' you sign up to when you join (the ones where you tick a box saying "I have read the terms and conditions" .....) the box we all tick without actually reading them.
I've been careful about posting ever since and now send private family pics by PM.

IslaPineappple · 20/10/2021 11:33

Just message and say I was Googling my website and it's bought your up as it's got the same content. Can you change yours so people don't think we are the same company? Thanks

Original poster

SquirrelsAndNuts · 20/10/2021 11:34

@YouJustFoldItIn

Is it your own business or a MLM website?

Yes it's my own business.

Yes but is it an MLM? We all know how much people in MLMs love to talk about being a 'business owner' when it's not really anything of the sort.

If let's say it is an MLM and she's someone in your downline, then given that you are selling exactly the same thing and what with all 'coaching' you'd be giving her to expand her own 'business' so that more money comes back to you, she'd probably think it was perfectly fine to replicate your wording. After all, you are skimming off a chunk of her earnings.

I have offered to do this. I have asked if she would like any help with her website to help increase business

Sounding very, very much like someone on your downline of an MLM to me.

I do have a really successful business. Which she's commented on several times and that hers struggles from time to time. So I think she's taken my information hoping it will improve her business.

Sounding even more like it.

We became friends through a work related training course several years ago

And again....

Is it an MLM? Is she in your downline? Do you make money by helping her to improve her sales and by encouraging her to find her own downline recruits?

I absolutely wouldn't make a penny from helping her. I'm not selling any products or anything like that. She is not my downline. It isn't 'coaching' I'd be giving her - but ways of wording the services she offers online. But I wouldn't make any profit from this.

OP posts:

Original poster

SquirrelsAndNuts · 20/10/2021 11:41

To answer the questions about me selling products. It isn't that I sell products.
The part on my website that's been copied is - on my site I've put a bit of information about me, the way that I work and what services I offer. It's this that's been copied and pasted.

OP posts:

YouJustFoldItIn · 20/10/2021 11:42

But is it an MLM? Why can't you just say a simple yes or no?

Original poster

SquirrelsAndNuts · 20/10/2021 11:44

@YouJustFoldItIn

But is it an MLM? Why can't you just say a simple yes or no?

No it's definitely not an MLM.

OP posts:

IAAP · 20/10/2021 11:44

@DeireadhFomhair

As it's your own business, I am surprised that you are not going in all guns blazing at her about this - she basically stole your content, your ideas & god knows what else and is presenting it all as her own. I have no idea what the business is, but if for example you're a baker and have pictures of the cakes that you have made on your website - she has now stolen these to pretend that she made them - this is all kinds of wrong to me! And anyone who orders a cake from her will get a shock when it's not up to the standards on her website - if she was as good as you, she could create her own images/content etc...

Anyway, YANBU to be shocked and hurt by this. But YABU to not address it with her. You are putting her feelings above your own, and above your business! She obviously doesn't care about your feelings.

Make sure you screen shot the lot and ask her to take it down immediately. You've obviously done and paid for your website -no copying should take place

Legitimatesalvage · 20/10/2021 11:45

@SquirrelsAndNuts

On mumsnet, if you say you are a business owner, it is often assumed you mean an MLM. You need to specifically say "it isnt an MLM or anything at all like that. It is a business I am qualified in, started myself and run it myself. Not using anyone else's brand umbrella or product etc."

If you dont say that then it really is assumed it's an MLM. And if it is, then the responses would be very different. To be fair, you seem unable to say it isnt an MLM or anything similar so that's why people are harping on about it.

Original poster

SquirrelsAndNuts · 20/10/2021 11:48

[quote Legitimatesalvage]@SquirrelsAndNuts

On mumsnet, if you say you are a business owner, it is often assumed you mean an MLM. You need to specifically say "it isnt an MLM or anything at all like that. It is a business I am qualified in, started myself and run it myself. Not using anyone else's brand umbrella or product etc."

If you dont say that then it really is assumed it's an MLM. And if it is, then the responses would be very different. To be fair, you seem unable to say it isnt an MLM or anything similar so that's why people are harping on about it.[/quote]
I do keep saying it's not an MLM.

OP posts:

mountbattenbergcake · 20/10/2021 11:48

You’re worried about embarrassing a thief and a liar?

She lied to you that she doesn’t even have a website.

She is not your friend, friends don’t because this way. You need to act now before this gets established. Tell her she needs to remove all plagiarism by the end of this month. In writing.

mountbattenbergcake · 20/10/2021 11:49

[quote Legitimatesalvage]@SquirrelsAndNuts

On mumsnet, if you say you are a business owner, it is often assumed you mean an MLM. You need to specifically say "it isnt an MLM or anything at all like that. It is a business I am qualified in, started myself and run it myself. Not using anyone else's brand umbrella or product etc."

If you dont say that then it really is assumed it's an MLM. And if it is, then the responses would be very different. To be fair, you seem unable to say it isnt an MLM or anything similar so that's why people are harping on about it.[/quote]
She has said unthread that it’s not MLM.

Cuntness · 20/10/2021 11:49

She lied about having a website because she knows what she's done is wrong.

You can see that, right?

YouJustFoldItIn · 20/10/2021 11:50

No it definitely isn't an MLM

Thanks for clarifying. I do think it makes a difference to your issue.

Justilou1 · 20/10/2021 11:55

I think you need to assume that maybe she’s one of those people who has befriended you with the intention of becoming a parasite. She saw your potential and just cruised behind you watching and learning. She waited until you trusted her and then when you weren’t watching, took your product. This happens a lot more often than you may think.

SarahDippity · 20/10/2021 11:57

I would screenshot the copied text, screenshot your own, and paste them into an email side by side.

‘Hi content thief, I’ve been on your website and notice your ‘about me’ page is identical to the one I wrote for my own site in 2009. It is not acceptable for you to copy my content. Please address this immediately and under no circumstances may you duplicate or ‘lift’ any content I have written, which remains my intellectual property.’

No please, no thank you, no ‘sorry but.’

YouJustFoldItIn · 20/10/2021 12:00

I do keep saying it's not an MLM.

No you don't. You've said it once, only when pressed to just say yes or no to the question instead of skirting around the issue. I think the poster who said that 'as you seem unable to answer the question about whether it's an MLM or not, people will just assume it is.' was bang on.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/10/2021 12:06

She doesn't give a shit about hurting or embarassing you or jeopardising your relationship so why do you care.
Read the riot act.

YouJustFoldItIn · 20/10/2021 12:15

But now we know, then you absolutely should not feel unsure about confronting her or losing the friendship. She has plagiarised your work and you see no benefit from that at all.

She should be embarrassed and massively apologetic. If she's not then she's no friend.

Although just a thought: Is it possible she was working on her own new website and C&Ped text from yours to use as some sort of template, to later be edited and tweaked in her own words, but with yours as the inspiration for the sort of thing she was aiming for, with pointers of what to include? Maybe didn't mean for it to be live yet and was just playing around with ideas.

Something similar happened to me once. I have a holiday home and I was working on the wording for the rental website. I C&Ped some text for a completely different holiday home in a different area because I thought it was a good example of what i needed to get across. The house wasn't even in the same area as mine so none of the info was even relevant to my own house. I wanted to see how much text I could get into the fields on the website template and used that as a starting point, intending to replace the writing with all my own text once i knew how many lines of text I could add. I must add that this is all new to me and I am not terribly IT literate.

No-one except my mother even knew the website address or the name of my house and I hadn't even looked at website optimisation or anything, so it never occurred to me that anyone would google and find my website which was total work in progress with no photos or anything.

My mother rang me to say 'Why do you talk about walking distance to the lake beach on your website? You are nowhere near a lake beach. And you don't have a trampoline either. And you are nowhere near XXX town.'

LadyDanburysHat · 20/10/2021 12:21

I'm not sure why you are worried about risking the friendship. You should be livid and ensuring she takes it down.

Original poster

SquirrelsAndNuts · 20/10/2021 12:34

@YouJustFoldItIn
I imagine she would be embarrassed if I speak to her about this, which I feel is something I should do feel more wound up the more I've been looking at it.
It definitely won't be that she js using it as a template. It's complete and has gone live to receive work.

It feels even more awkward that I've asked about her site and she's said she no longer has one when I can clearly see it.

OP posts:

3luckystars · 20/10/2021 12:36

Well it sounds like a difficult conversation, but one that has to happen.
I would just get it over with. Good luck.

Legitimatesalvage · 20/10/2021 12:37

This isnt going to go away or get any less awkward. You're not going to get less angry.

Just send the message and move on.

You've not done anything wrong. She has.

She has copied your work. She had tries to throw you off the scent by telling you she has no website.

She's deceitful, she a thief and she is covering up to stop you finding out. Well, you've found out.

Send a calm, collected but forceful message. And then move on. If she gets angry or embarrassed, just remind yourself that it is because she has been caught doing something she absolutely knew was wrong.

thebestnamesweregone · 20/10/2021 12:37

You said earlier "she would be embarrassed" if you confront her, rightly so, she's hijacked YOUR ideas, not much of a friend!

Cuntness · 20/10/2021 12:38

You need to file for a DCMA and then contact her website host and they should take it down.

(My husband is an SEO expert).