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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked and hurt by this

301 replies

SquirrelsAndNuts · 19/10/2021 22:43

I didn't know what to put as a title. I do feel shocked. And I think a little hurt.

I have a friend I met a few years ago. We are in the same line of work. We live quite far away from each other. There’s around a couple of hundred miles between us, but we stay in touch regularly.
Anyway, we were chatting this week about work, and I decided to have a quick look on her website.
I was shocked to see that she has copied and pasted everything from my website onto her own. It’s all the same - word for word.
I don’t think at all this will have a negative impact on my business. But I just feel so shocked by this. I’m not sure if I also feel quite hurt? Or foolish? I couldn’t quite believe it at first.

I really don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do nothing and pretend that I haven’t seen it, but I also would prefer for her to remove it. However, I don’t want to risk hurting her or embarrassing her, or jeopardising our friendship.
What would you do?

OP posts:
FreeBritnee · 19/10/2021 22:51

Well your going to simmer on it now you know which will negatively affect your relationship. The only thing you can do is ask her what’s going on?

FreeBritnee · 19/10/2021 22:51

*you’re

millenialblush · 19/10/2021 22:55

It will have a negative effect on your business if you rely on generating traffic to your website through search engines. Look up duplicate content and SEO

RoseChampagne · 19/10/2021 22:56

I think there are a lot of Depends on here...

Is it your own business or a MLM website?

Original poster
SquirrelsAndNuts · 19/10/2021 22:59

@FreeBritnee

Well your going to simmer on it now you know which will negatively affect your relationship. The only thing you can do is ask her what’s going on?
That's what I'm worried about. I don't know how to word it. I imagine she would be embarrassed if I mention it to her and ask her what's going on.
OP posts:
Original poster
SquirrelsAndNuts · 19/10/2021 23:00

@RoseChampagne

I think there are a lot of Depends on here...

Is it your own business or a MLM website?

Yes it's my own business.
OP posts:
QueenDanu · 19/10/2021 23:00

Flattering but also............. disrespectful

ImitationofBeing · 19/10/2021 23:01

I would phone her and say its been pointed out to you that her website has used your content, and has she copied it ?

Original poster
SquirrelsAndNuts · 19/10/2021 23:01

@QueenDanu

Flattering but also............. disrespectful
She's commented before on how well my business does compared to hers. So I wonder if this is why she copied it, hoping it will bring her more business. But it does feel disrespectful too.
OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 19/10/2021 23:03

It'll affect your SEO ratings negatively, so from a professional perspective you need to get her to remove it. Distance yourself emotionally from the conversation, its just business.

BurntO · 19/10/2021 23:06

There is nothing wrong in having value and pride in what you do and calling someone out for a lack of respect. It’s beyond rude, disrespectful and unprofessional. How embarrassing of her.

DeireadhFomhair · 19/10/2021 23:06

As it's your own business, I am surprised that you are not going in all guns blazing at her about this - she basically stole your content, your ideas & god knows what else and is presenting it all as her own.

I have no idea what the business is, but if for example you're a baker and have pictures of the cakes that you have made on your website - she has now stolen these to pretend that she made them - this is all kinds of wrong to me! And anyone who orders a cake from her will get a shock when it's not up to the standards on her website - if she was as good as you, she could create her own images/content etc...

Anyway, YANBU to be shocked and hurt by this. But YABU to not address it with her. You are putting her feelings above your own, and above your business! She obviously doesn't care about your feelings.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 19/10/2021 23:08

If you want to keep the friendship I would mention next time you chat that you're going to check out her website, it will be easy to engineer the conversation so you can say it.

She will either warn you and explain why, or change it before she thinks you'll see it.

If she doesn't change it then she will be expecting questions from you as to why she copied your site.

Sunshinealligator · 19/10/2021 23:15

Is your website made by a professional company? If so, you really might be able to distance yourself by asking them to contact her.

They could use the excuse that the similarities of the two emails has been flagged because of the duplicate SEO information, that she's effectively stolen their work, and she needs to remove it before any of their clients find out as this would lose them reputation and custom..

Would be worth a shot- even if you bung them £100 for contacting her.

I think they'd be pissed off if their work was just effectively stolen like that.

Sunshinealligator · 19/10/2021 23:16

*2 websites

TimeForTeaAndG · 19/10/2021 23:29

I'd no longer consider her a friend, tbh. Who does that?! Your website is your brand! Not hers.

If you got it designed for you then you could claim copyright infringement, a quick cease & desist letter would probably be enough to get her to remove it all.

The absolute cheek of some people!!!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 19/10/2021 23:35

You are worried about upsetting and embarrassing her by mentioning something pretty low that she did to you...she wasnt really worried about upsetting or embarrassing you, or the legal or moral aspects of stealing your work when she copied it!

Did you do the website yourself? If not I would get in touch with the people that created it and ask them for advice. Maybe they could contact her and she wouldnt need to know it came from you, if you really still care about being friends with her

QueenBee52 · 19/10/2021 23:50

@DrinkFeckArseBrick

You are worried about upsetting and embarrassing her by mentioning something pretty low that she did to you...she wasnt really worried about upsetting or embarrassing you, or the legal or moral aspects of stealing your work when she copied it!

Did you do the website yourself? If not I would get in touch with the people that created it and ask them for advice. Maybe they could contact her and she wouldnt need to know it came from you, if you really still care about being friends with her

this ..

MyrrAgain · 19/10/2021 23:54

Yes the above! Can you get a professional or legal person to write/email saying they're infringement of copyright or something that sounds formal? Then she doesn't know it's you. There must be some consequences to copying someone's website word for word!

connelly · 20/10/2021 00:05

Clearly she's not much of a friend. Send her a DMCA takedown notice.

connelly · 20/10/2021 00:05

And make sure to put the copyright symbol on all your pages.

SilentPanic · 20/10/2021 00:22

I'd probably say something like, I see that you've taken the text off my website. Please change it because it affects the google algorithm that leads to my site. Thanks. Then I'd take a massive step back.

Ponoka7 · 20/10/2021 06:24

How did you become friends? I'd be wondering if at the time she was looking for people who could help her in her business but dressed it up as wanting friendships. She isn't a genuine person.

Postmanpatsucksdick · 20/10/2021 06:36

You'll have to confront her about it. She did something wrong and it's bothered you. Don't simmer.

Billybagpuss · 20/10/2021 06:44

Or time to launch spectacular new content on yours. Surely she wouldn’t dare do it twice. But the google algorithm reply is a good one.

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