To be shocked and hurt by this

[SquirrelsAndNuts]

I didn't know what to put as a title. I do feel shocked. And I think a little hurt.

I have a friend I met a few years ago. We are in the same line of work. We live quite far away from each other. There’s around a couple of hundred miles between us, but we stay in touch regularly. 
Anyway, we were chatting this week about work, and I decided to have a quick look on her website. 
I was shocked to see that she has copied and pasted everything from my website onto her own. It’s all the same - word for word. 
I don’t think at all this will have a negative impact on my business. But I just feel so shocked by this. I’m not sure if I also feel quite hurt? Or foolish? I couldn’t quite believe it at first. 

I really don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do nothing and pretend that I haven’t seen it, but I also would prefer for her to remove it. However, I don’t want to risk hurting her or embarrassing her, or jeopardising our friendship.  
What would you do? 

[LowlandLucky]

Confront her, she is not your friend

[Gemma2019]

So she not only stole from you, she lied about having a website too. I would be absolutely livid.

I would subscribe to one of the takedown service websites who will regularly check for duplicates of your site and get them removed. Do this now while you work out how you want to deal with this friendship.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

It wasn't made by a professional company as such. It is my webpage so I've had no outsider help from any other professionals.

Sorry, I probably didn't word that amazingly clearly. I meant to 'assume' and 'suggest' that SHE has employed content developers who have found and ripped off YOUR own self-developed site/content and then passed it off as their work to sell her for HER website.

[mytortoiseisill]

If it’s literal copying of original text then you’ve got her wherever you want her.

Decide what you want. Capitulation plus Gratitude for your forbearance would be a good long term business aim.

[mytortoiseisill]

Loving the fictional intermediary ideas too...... if you carry that off....

[FoxgloveSummers]

My only question would be, if it’s a new website is there a tiny possibility that she’s using your stuff as a placeholder? Like “I’ll write this page about graphic design next week but I want to say stuff a bit like OP has” - and she’ll go through and replace it. Obviously if it’s been up for a while that doesn’t work.

Although it could also be a good way of approaching it with her if you (not sure why) do want to continue the friendship - oh I see you’re using some of my stuff as a placeholder, it’s confusing my clients can you take it down please?

Really confused as to how two people can use the same copy anyway and it still be accurate!

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

If it’s literal copying of original text then you’ve got her wherever you want her.

I must have been watching too much Partridge as my mind read the start of that sentence and automatically filled in the rest after 'her' [anatomically incongruously] with 'by the Jaffas'

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

Surely, for a placeholder, you either just put 'this section under construction' or 'watch this space' or just keep it offline until it's ready to be published, though?

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

Really confused as to how two people can use the same copy anyway and it still be accurate!

It isn't - that's part of the problem!! She's deceiving her potential customers/clients by luring them in with information (and maybe examples of work and testimonies) that doesn't relate to her and her business.

It's the sign of a very shoddy business indeed: to effectively 'steal' people's custom under false pretences rather than to win it honestly through your genuine skill, quality and proven experience.

[Thatsnotall]

@Bywayofanupdate

Could you say something like "I've noticed some of your content is the same as mine, I'm flattered that you like it. I don't mind you using some of my ideas however, it will have a detrimental affect on SEO for both of us so can you change up the wording. Perhaps we could have a brainstorming session and come up with done ideas for each other'

No. Don't give an inch! 'I don't mind you use some of my ideas' is a big open door.

OP, you need to address outright and I really like previous poster's question of 'What would you do if you weren't afraid?'

You also do not need to offer to 'help' her sort this out at the off..... Ask her what's happened, and go from there. Don't give any of yourself away as frankly it seems she already feels you're too much of a pushover for this to ever be a problem anyway so don't consolidate that!! Good luck and pease keep us updated. You do not need people like this in your life... no one does xx

[MyrrAgain]

You can report it to Google for a start

[DrSbaitso]

If this site were full of businessmen, nobody would be suggesting saying things like "it's fine for you to use my content but do you want me to help you create yours" and "I don't mind you using some of my ideas".

You don't need to go all Don Corleone or take legal action as a very first response, but you also don't need to apologise for anything or pretend that it isn't an issue! Why approach her at all if you're only going to say that it isn't important?

[CheltenhamLady]

You need to address this OP. It simply isn't acceptable for someone to pass off ideas or work as their own to lure in customers.

Has she made her own website or given the information to someone else to do it for her?

[smoko]

She's plagarised your website & having identical content will affect your SEO!

Am old & intolerant, so would be ending a friendship over this. Taking what you worked hard on & now pretending the website doesn't exist is dodgy + deceptive.

Don't think this person is your true friend, as this is 100% stealing.

[lurkingfromhome]

@Holly60

Ok it sounds like you like her and want to maintain the friendship.

How about ‘hi X, was just looking at your website and saw that some of it is really similar to mine. No worries about that but at some point did you want me to help you edit it so it’s even more relevant to your business?’

Then see what she says?

This has to be unquestionably the worst advice I have ever seen anywhere about anything. Jesus, some people haven't a clue.

Imagine your house is getting burgled and you catch the burglar in the act climbing out of your window with your laptop and jewellery. Do you say "Hi Burglar, I see you're making off with everything I own that I've worked hard to buy. No worries about that but do you want me to go out and buy you your own laptop and jewellery to make your own life easier? Happy to do that for you!"

Thought not.

[smoko]

Also stop offering to help her & saying things like you don't mind if she uses some of your ideas.

This is your business + your work!

This feels like female conditioning to "be nice" - why should you put even more work into helping her when she clearly doesn't seem to be interested in trying to help herself?

[smoko]

@lurkingfromhome Spot on!

[Wiredforsound]

If she’s denying even having a website, send her the link and say, “Who owns this website then? They’ve copied mine word for word. I’m going to get the lawyers onto them. It’s clear infringement of copyright”.

[Tistheseason17]

Screenshot her pages before you say anything so you have proof in case you do decide to take action in the future.

Friends don't do this - or if they did a real friend would have talked to you about it. Sounds like she's using you for her own ends.

[Legitimatesalvage]

You're going to have to bite the bullet and just send a message. Dont let it fester.

Something like, "I dont want this to come between us in our friendship but I cant ignore. I had a look at your website and you have copied and pasted the text I have written from my website onto yours. This dilutes my brand, it interferes with search engines and pushes my website further down as they are identical. I need you to cease and desist from using my text. Please take the website down today and do not put it back up until you have removed all my text. I dont want to have to take this any further and I hope we can just sort this out now and move on."

Unfortunately, you cant be all softly softly with this. You need to firm and clear. So separate it from the friendship, talk about the business side and then move on.

[SirensofTitan]

If she says she doesn't have a website you need to start a conversation about the fact that there clearly is a website for her business with your content and take it from there.

If she still denies that it's hers tell her you will be taking legal action to have the site taken down. If she admits it's hers then you give her the opportunity to take it down before you go down the legal route

Is there any possibility that she's telling the truth and that the web site is the work of a third party?

[Dindundundundeeer]

OP you MUST address this. It will impact your business ie she’s taking your income from you.

Ask her to take it down. Ask politely, but firmly. As it’s clear plenty of people don’t understand the implications of this, as she is a friend including the reasons might be nice. You can then pretend she didn’t realise - if you wish to remain friends.

[Bananarama21]

Well this didn't go the way op wanted it. She's not remotely in the wrong. Good for her.

[Bananarama21]

Ops wrong thread

[Legitimatesalvage]

@Bananarama21

Well this didn't go the way op wanted it. She's not remotely in the wrong. Good for her.

What?