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Original poster

Another parking thread - I’m the guilty party - feel so bad

61 replies

Scrumbleton · 19/10/2021 16:53

It’s been a very bad week. I buried my mum last week and I’ve been distracted and very sad though not an excuse I know for what happened. I want to Sainsbury’s today, parked and did my shopping . When I came back a lady was waiting furious in the car park because I hadn’t straightened my wheel when I parked and it was an inch from her car. I was in the parking bay but my passenger wheel was just over the line She shouted really loudly at me said she couldn’t get out and had been stuck there for an hour. I apologised twice but she kept shouting and I just lost it. I shouted back said I’d apologised twice and told her to go F herself. We had a shouting session for about 5 mins during which I said she could actually have gotten out ( she could but it would have been tricky and she’d have prob had to get in the passenger door. I feel so badly. I was unbelievably rude and though she could have accepted my apologies I really don’t blame her for being raging and I should not have lost my temper. Feel very ashamed of myself.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 19/10/2021 16:56

She could have taken your registration and gone into the store to get a call put out for you. Or she could have gone in the passenger side.

CSJobseeker · 19/10/2021 16:57

@dementedpixie

She could have taken your registration and gone into the store to get a call put out for you. Or she could have gone in the passenger side.
I agree. If you believe her, she'd had a whole hour to think of a solution like a sensible person.
Arabelladrinkstea · 19/10/2021 16:57

Sounds like she was being a rude drama llama and you stood up to her!
Sorry about your mum Flowers go have a big glass of wine and try to just see it as one of those things Wine

Finfintytint · 19/10/2021 17:00

Try not to worry about it. You’ve had a tough time and sometimes we are short fused when dealing with other stuff, especially bereavement.
Sorry for your loss.

Fetarabbit · 19/10/2021 17:00

Don't feel bad, you are human and you acknowledge that it is out of character. She could have found a way if she had been 'waiting an hour' (unless you were a long time in the shop then seems unlikely). I'm sure you'll feel better about it after a sleep, there's no harm done Flowers

Reallyimeanreally2022 · 19/10/2021 17:01

I would have been watching opened agog at this exchange between two grown assed women

RatherBeRiding · 19/10/2021 17:02

Well it is a pain when you have to get in the passenger side and slide over the gear stick and handbrake, but we've all had to do it haven't we? I can see her side of it, tbf, because I absolutely hate it when someone parks over the white line in a tight car park - but, hey, she could have got in if she wanted to. Some people do seem incapable of wriggling out of tight spaces though.

As said above, the sensible thing to do would have been to go into the store with your reg number and put out a tannoy call.

Sorry for your loss and don't beat yourself up over it. She didn't need to get all shouty and your emotions are bound to be very close to the surface.

custardbear · 19/10/2021 17:02

@dementedpixie

She could have taken your registration and gone into the store to get a call put out for you. Or she could have gone in the passenger side.
Yep I've done this before - the parking bays are little and cars grow bigger I'm sure 🤔
DingDongDenny · 19/10/2021 17:02

You acknowlege that your response wasn't great and it was clearly out of character. I think you just need to chalk it up to grief and let it go. Don't beat yourself up about it.

SirChenjins · 19/10/2021 17:02

If it's anything like our Sainsburys they won't put out a tannoy announcement - they stopped doing them a few years ago. Absolute PITA.

If she could have got in via the passenger door then she, she over-reacted. If she probably couldn't - maybe she had a bad back, or another car on that side was parked too close - then I don't blame her for being v pissed off.

I'm really sorry about your mum Flowers

SpookyPumpkinPants · 19/10/2021 17:02

((((HUG))))

I'm very sorry about your Mum.x

Look after yourself 💐

Don't give the carpark thing another thought! You made a mistake, it happens. Stupid cow could have taken your car details into the shop to ask them, to ask you to let her out.

You apologised, what did she want? Blood??

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she might have then been late for something and
Worried/stressed, not able to get past that...
But she clearly didn't use her common sense or driving skills!!

Have a nice cup of tea(or something stronger!!) and 'let it go'.
Xx

Northofsomewhere · 19/10/2021 17:04

I agree with above, she absolutely should've gone back into the store and asked for the number plate to be called out. It happens daily in the store I work in for various reasons so is a completely normal and reasonable request rather than waiting and getting increasingly irate.

On a different note, if you are distracted should you be driving? I was in a similar situation when I was learning to drive, my instructor immediately noticed a steep decline in my driving and asked me to pull over. She took me for a coffee and we talked about it as decided it would be best if I didn't drive until I was feeling better. Is there a possibility for you to reduce your driving as you're probably more distracted than you realise (I certainly didn't, was too preoccupied) and it could potentially have unfortunate consequences.

Take care of yourself and give yourself time to feel better.

SpookyPumpkinPants · 19/10/2021 17:04

@Reallyimeanreally2022

I would have been watching opened agog at this exchange between two grown assed women
...and??
Crunchingleaf · 19/10/2021 17:05

Don’t feel bad. You are going to have bad days. Could you have parked better sure, but she had an hour to figure out another solution.

teddingtonbear · 19/10/2021 17:05

@Reallyimeanreally2022

I would have been watching opened agog at this exchange between two grown assed women
There's always one.
custardbear · 19/10/2021 17:05

And sorry for your loss too - I've lost both parents and it's a sad a d stressful time, hugs 🍷💐💕 ... take what you need ⬅️I have plenty

Sparklfairy · 19/10/2021 17:05

Is she honestly saying she stood there like a lemon for an hour? Its annoying, and I'm sorry you've had a shit time lately, but there are arsehole parkers (and otherwise) everywhere. At any point she could have used some initiative and put a call out for you.

Honestly if she was squawking at me like that after I'd apologised twice, once I'd found out she'd been there for an hour I might well have pretended I'd forgotten something and gone back into the supermarket though she'd probably key my car

TheQueef · 19/10/2021 17:06

Sorry to hear you've lost your Mam Flowers
It was a one off, you've not done anything nasty or terrible.
It was a big shout but no lasting harm done, and she's got a new tale to tell.
Write today off, give yourself a treat and forgive yourself.

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 19/10/2021 17:08

I remember feeling so angry with the whole world just after my Mum died like I was spoiling for a fight with someone. I think your response was down to grief, so forgive yourself.

SirChenjins · 19/10/2021 17:08

Is it a standalone Sainsbury’s? Ie was it obvious where you were? Or is it part of a wider retail park snd did she think ‘no way am I going traipse round 20 different shops asking them to put a tannoy out?’

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 19/10/2021 17:16

You did this in grief
Grief is terrible world darkness that you get sucked into. Not surprised you reacted angrily - very likely you're in the anger stage of grief reaction.

Forgive yourself and forget it
It's something that's done and over with

Maybe that lady did you a favour by a bit of your anger being directed outwards as a release - secretly thank her in your head and mentally move on. No benefit will come to you or this lady by beating yourself up over this

Just try to park straight next time

bedbathandbeyond · 19/10/2021 17:23

I'm sorry about your mum Thanks

mountbattenbergcake · 19/10/2021 17:25

I'm sorry about your mum but YABU to say she could have got in through the passenger seat. If this was my mum/aunt/sister/friend/brother, there is no way they would have been able to do that.

I really don't blame her for being angry with you, she didn't know about your mum.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/10/2021 17:27

I don't blame her for being furious for having had an hour of her day taken from her by a stranger. She could have missed a doctor's appointment, been unable to collect her children, missed work (and maybe lost pay) etc.

As to everybody saying "She should just have got in through the passenger door and shuffled along - simple", that's a very ableist mindset. There's no way I could possibly do that (I struggle enough getting in and out of the correct door) - and plenty of people are far more disabled than I am.

That said, she didn't achieve anything by going on about it after you'd apologised, and it was obviously a very difficult time for you with lots going around in your head; but you don't know what kind of circumstances she might have been going through too.

It's over now and resolved: be kind to yourself and no point in dwelling on it any further.

Joolsin · 19/10/2021 17:28

I had a similar situation with a woman over a locked bicycle shortly after my Mum had died. Now admittedly, I was in the wrong. I cycled into town to buy a card. There were no free bicycle stands outside the shop so I reasoned that since I was going straight into the shop, buying one card and coming out again, that it would be ok to lock my bike to another one. My transaction in the shop was really quick, chose the first card I saw, no queue so I was back at the bikes in under 3 mins. A very grumpy woman laid into me, alleging she'd been waiting ages. That got my back up, as I knew it wasn't true, so I proceeded to completely ignore her, unlocking my bike, wheeling it past her and cycling off while she got rantier and rantier. I would have apologised if she hadn't exaggerated, but she was so over the top from the start that I just didn't care. I didn't feel guilty either, just liberated!!! So don't feel bad about this, OP, you just let out some emotion.