Another parking thread - I’m the guilty party - feel so bad

[Scrumbleton]

It’s been a very bad week. I buried my mum last week and I’ve been distracted and very sad though not an excuse I know for what happened. I want to Sainsbury’s today, parked and did my shopping . When I came back a lady was waiting furious in the car park because I hadn’t straightened my wheel when I parked and it was an inch from her car. I was in the parking bay but my passenger wheel was just over the line She shouted really loudly at me said she couldn’t get out and had been stuck there for an hour. I apologised twice but she kept shouting and I just lost it. I shouted back said I’d apologised twice and told her to go F herself. We had a shouting session for about 5 mins during which I said she could actually have gotten out ( she could but it would have been tricky and she’d have prob had to get in the passenger door. I feel so badly. I was unbelievably rude and though she could have accepted my apologies I really don’t blame her for being raging and I should not have lost my temper. Feel very ashamed of myself.

She may well have asked for a tannoy announcement but you didn’t hear it. You said you were distracted and upset. You said your wheel was blocking her car so even if she’d got in though the passenger seat, she may not have been able to drive off. I doubt she was that dim she’d wait around for an hour if she had any other option. I’d have been furious too if I’d been blocked in for an hour. She could have be having a bad time in her life too and especially if she needed to be somewhere, she would have understandably been working herself into a frenzy obviously not knowing the personal circumstances of the person who had caused her massive inconvenience.

The right thing to do would have been to apologise then get in your car and move as quickly as possible so she could be on her way, and let her carry on ranting but you weren’t thinking clearly, quite understandably too.

Just let it go, chalk it up to a shit day at a shit time in your life. You can’t do anything about it now. Maybe do a random act of kindness to balance it, when you feel up to it, if it makes you feel better .

It really is ableist to assume people can just get in the passenger side. No way I could do that. And my disability is at the not that badly impaired end of the scale.

I agree. And, I’m not even disabled (just short) but in no world could I climb over the centre console from passenger to drivers side.

If she was in such a hurry, she could have gone to the shop and ask to send a call.

How many more people have to point out that a load of places won’t do this before others stop suggesting it?

It really is ableist to assume people can just get in the passenger side. No way I could do that. And my disability is at the not that badly impaired end of the scale.

We also suggested she went into the shop to get a message put out over the tannoy

Which is often a very far from straightforward thing for somebody with a disability, mobility problems or similar to do - particularly when they might be exhausted and achey from managing to do a big shop - and then are expected to just 'pop' back to the shop all over again.

In the month after I lost my Dad, I shouted at some leary teens in the street and totally forget to renew my car tax, amongst other things.
Forgive yourself and move on.

Years ago we did something much worse - totally blocked a car in (made a third row). Absolutely no idea how we did something so stupid - we were incredibly stressed after a theft. Came back to the car and a FURIOUS woman. We saw what we had done and both collapsed in tears, and horror and apology, and I will never ever forget how kind and lovely she was - SHE then apologised again and again, and even offered us money (we were very stuck but of course refused). So so so kind (and she was shaking w rage when we appeared!) So your lady’s fury was understandable but she should have forgiven.

You've just buried your mum - I am so, so sorry, op.

The shame and embarrassment you feel is as much a reaction of your grief as you (eventually) losing your temper was.

You haven't committed a crime, a wonky wheel is hardly a big deal! Getting irate at a woman who behaved badly to you in the first place isn't a crime either.

I voted yabu but only because yabu to beat yourself up! The fact that you feel so awful is greater testament to your character than this little incident.

sorry for your loss op i remember being angry at everyone and everything after i lost my mum if someone smiled i scowled at them

last week i couldnt get in the drivers side so i just climed over-maybe she culdnt physically do it but no need to rant at someone especially f they apologised

You realise you over reacted. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself and move on.

Sorry for your loss but it sounds to me if she is so incompetent to not be able to manauvre her car out of a space with your wheel over the line she probably shouldn't be driving.

Oh I’m so sorry for your loss OP

You have no reason to be mortified. It was a (very very small!) mistake and you apologised. We all make mistakes, that’s life. I’d probably start shouting too if someone wouldn’t accept my profuse apologies. You’ve just lost your mum and although the woman didn’t know that, there is still no benefit in berating someone who has said sorry multiple times!

Also from what you describe surely she could have gotten out? People have parked close to my drivers door loads over the years and I’ve never been blocked in or even gotten angry…