Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another parking thread - I’m the guilty party - feel so bad

61 replies

Scrumbleton · 19/10/2021 16:53

It’s been a very bad week. I buried my mum last week and I’ve been distracted and very sad though not an excuse I know for what happened. I want to Sainsbury’s today, parked and did my shopping . When I came back a lady was waiting furious in the car park because I hadn’t straightened my wheel when I parked and it was an inch from her car. I was in the parking bay but my passenger wheel was just over the line She shouted really loudly at me said she couldn’t get out and had been stuck there for an hour. I apologised twice but she kept shouting and I just lost it. I shouted back said I’d apologised twice and told her to go F herself. We had a shouting session for about 5 mins during which I said she could actually have gotten out ( she could but it would have been tricky and she’d have prob had to get in the passenger door. I feel so badly. I was unbelievably rude and though she could have accepted my apologies I really don’t blame her for being raging and I should not have lost my temper. Feel very ashamed of myself.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 19/10/2021 17:29

Is she honestly saying she stood there like a lemon for an hour?

I don't think you can blame or jeer at her for the amount of time somebody else took to do their shopping after she'd returned to her car having finished hers, to be fair.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 19/10/2021 17:29

Ah @Scrumbleton so sorry about your mum.

When mum died, I remember so clearly saying over and over in my head 'I'm bereaved' as if people could hear it, and understand why I was a crazy person. I could have sworn it radiated from me, and that of course no sane person would expect rational actions from me.

Let it go. It's OK. Really. (((Hugs))) and 🌺🌹🌸🌼🌷

Sparklfairy · 19/10/2021 17:43

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll no of course not, but milling around getting angrier and angrier helps no one. I guess my natural reaction would be to use my initiative/be proactive even if it didn't come to anything. I was just surprised.

MushMonster · 19/10/2021 17:47

If you were just over the lune, then she was wrongly parked too, as she had not left any space between her car and the line.
No worries OP. Nobody can be perfect 100% of the time. And parking a tiny bit off is nothing that bad at all.
Flowers

Original poster
Scrumbleton · 19/10/2021 17:58

I don’t blame her for being angry either. Just mortified I reacted so badly.

OP posts:
UnsuitableHat · 19/10/2021 18:03

Forgive yourself, OP. She wound you up and didn’t need to do so. Now it’s over. Sorry to hear about your mum.

User527294627 · 19/10/2021 18:10

Sounds like she was being horrible, in all honesty. You didn’t deserve to be shouted at, especially after you had apologised. She was creating a big drama of something that really needn’t have been one.

I’m so sorry about your mum. Look after yourself Flowers

LakeShoreD · 19/10/2021 18:16

I mean obviously you parked like a twat, but after the fact you couldn’t exactly undo it could you? And you said sorry… I get that she was annoyed obviously but she was the one that escalated the situation. An hour is also a ridiculously long time to be waiting- if she couldn’t manage to clamber of the passenger seat due to mobility issues then wouldn’t the next step be to ask the store(s) to put a call out? I have a hard time believing she’d actually been waiting that long. Anyway it’s done now, forgive yourself and watch your parking in future, no point dwelling on it.

LakeShoreD · 19/10/2021 18:16

And sorry about your mum Flowers

20viona · 19/10/2021 18:18

Don't feel bad you've had a stressful
Time.

Bumblenums1234 · 19/10/2021 18:21

You apologised twice, what more did she want, blood?

Stuff like this really winds me up, I hope you're okay op Flowers

thevassal · 19/10/2021 18:23

[quote Sparklfairy]@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll no of course not, but milling around getting angrier and angrier helps no one. I guess my natural reaction would be to use my initiative/be proactive even if it didn't come to anything. I was just surprised.[/quote]
You don't know that she didn't though. She could have gone into the shop and asked for a message to be put over the tannoy but the shop refused. OP hasn't clarified if it was even a car park just for sainsburys or other shops too. Yes I personally would have just climbed over from the passenger side and driven off but she might not have had the mobility to do so, in which case she was pretty limited in what she could have done other than wait.

There are two sides to every story - playing devils advocate, if someone had posted 'my mum died this week so I've been in a terrible mood, just popped out to sainsburies on the way to pick up dc and when I came back someone had blocked me in. I'm overweight/got a bad hip/whatever so couldn't climb over and was really worried thinking about DC alone at school. When the woman finally came back she gave me a half hearted apology then told me to fuck off when I told her how inconvenienced I'd been...."

OP in all honesty I doubt she was there a full hour, but I would just write it off as one of those things. Dwelling on it will achieve absolutely nothing. In six months time both of you will have forgotten about it! Sorry about your mum, btw.

DysmalRadius · 19/10/2021 18:31

I don't think anyone would argue that she was wrong to be annoyed, but once someone had apologised twice, it's time to let it go!

antoniawhite · 19/10/2021 18:41
Flowers

Just be kind to yourself.

St Augustine said the three best comforts in grief are sleep, a warm bath and a good friend. I’d add a big mug of hot chocolate. But just do something lovely for yourself and don’t give headspace to this horrible incident. It isn’t what matters right now.

mcmooberry · 19/10/2021 18:42

Well I am not sure what more you could have done if you apologised twice, just sloped off while she continued shouting at you?

We have all behaved in a way which we are later ashamed of for sure, you are not alone x

Imnothereforthedrama · 19/10/2021 18:52

I probably would of done the same told her to f herself if I’d already apologised, then felt terrible afterwards.
But give yourself a break your going through a crap time you don’t need people like that giving you a hard time .
You apologised but still she carried on , like others say call out on tannoy or just get out the passenger side don’t sit there for a hour stewing .

HouseOfFire · 19/10/2021 18:57

@mountbattenbergcake

I'm sorry about your mum but YABU to say she could have got in through the passenger seat. If this was my mum/aunt/sister/friend/brother, there is no way they would have been able to do that.

I really don't blame her for being angry with you, she didn't know about your mum.

If this was my mum/aunt/sister/friend/brother, there is no way they would have been able to do that.

I hope that's not a single person you are talking about... GrinGrinGrin

TSSDNCOP · 19/10/2021 18:58

I would have been watching opened agog at this exchange between two grown assed women

I would've held your coat OP.

You didn't do it on purpose, you apologised profusely and you're a person on the edge. She couldn't have known the last, but you goad at your own risk.

Sorry about your mum. I hope life gets better soon.

Iamacatslave · 19/10/2021 19:01

Don’t give it another thought. Look after yourself. 💐

nocoolnamesleft · 19/10/2021 19:06

It really is ableist to assume people can just get in the passenger side. No way I could do that. And my disability is at the not that badly impaired end of the scale.

dementedpixie · 19/10/2021 19:27

@nocoolnamesleft

It really is ableist to assume people can just get in the passenger side. No way I could do that. And my disability is at the not that badly impaired end of the scale.
We also suggested she went into the shop to get a message put out over the tannoy
Imnothereforthedrama · 19/10/2021 19:30

@nocoolnamesleft

It really is ableist to assume people can just get in the passenger side. No way I could do that. And my disability is at the not that badly impaired end of the scale.
And it’s quite simply rude to keep shouting at someone even after they have apologised. Sorry but disabled or not you’d figure something out . The op reckoned she was able to get out just that it was difficult. Op is in the wrong for parking badly she admits that .
0palescent · 19/10/2021 19:37

You made a mistake and apologised twice for it. She had obviously wound herself up to the point of not hearing that, so I don't think anything you could have said to her would have stopped it. You're grieving and are no doubt on a knife edge just now, please cut yourself some slack for reacting back.

I'm really sorry for your loss x

Dobbyismyabsolutefav · 19/10/2021 19:42

Everything @WhereIsMumHiding3 said.

TravelLost · 19/10/2021 19:51

Honestly? You were fine

You apologised. You made a mistakes because of your current circumstances. She had no right to shout at you that way.
If she was in such a hurry, she could have gone to the shop and ask to send a call.

You reacted by shouting after she was repeatidly aggressive to you. I’d say it’s a normal reaction.

Od cut yourself some slack, have a cup of tea and forget about her