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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Postman smashing on door and shouting

447 replies

OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:12

I live in a house with other people. Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving. He's not in. Postman came to door to drop off. Saw me upstairs and I swear was banging on my door for 5 minutes so hard it sounded like he was going to break in. Rang the door over and over and over banging in-between. He disappeared, I guess delivered neighbours post then came back and banged on my door again, then next again, then back to me again. He even shouted 'i can see you'. I can't leave when I'm in the middle of presenting to people, especially not senior management, presenting extremely sensitive data. It's not a big house so he would've known I'd have heard him. WIBU not to open the door? Was he BU to keep banging aggressively on my door? All round a weird experience.

OP posts:
audweb · 19/10/2021 11:49

@Geamhradh

Why the fuck didn't you answer it when he knocked? MN is absolutely insane.
Because she’s working? Fed up of people not understanding the concept of working from home. There are plenty of things I do from home that would mean I couldn’t just leave and answer the door. It’s not like the postie doesn’t have a back up option of leaving a note!
Maverickess · 19/10/2021 11:50

I don't work from home but even I understand that there's times you can't just leave and answer the door - would any of you saying she should have answered the door been happy if you'd been a client or colleague she was on a video/call with in an important and official meeting if she excused herself to go off and receive a parcel?
Work is work and you dedicate the time they're paying you to do that work, not nip off on personal errands and leave everyone waiting, and it wasn't even the OPs parcel.
I can see why some employers are insisting on people going back into offices after some of these comments.

Stormy76 · 19/10/2021 11:51

I have had a delivery person do this because they could hear me. They could hear me because I was in a virtual meeting and it was not appropriate for me to step out to answer the door. Much as I wouldn’t have answered the phone in that meeting. I emailed a complaint to the company regarding working from home and asking the delivery staff to be a bit understanding as there are some situations where you just can’t leave to answer the door.

FrankGrillosWrist · 19/10/2021 11:51

It sounds like your presentation was disturbed anyway so you may as well have answered the door.

LetHimHaveIt · 19/10/2021 11:52

I agree that an awful lot of people wouldn't have been in, and that's surely the expectation, so the repeated banging is extremely irritating. On the other hand, I think you could've said: 'Sorry; I've got a very persistent postie - you may even be able to hear him - so I'm just going to nip downstairs for thirty seconds.' I really don't think that's 'wildly unprofessional' and that you'd be 'jeopardising your job' 🙄

HouseOfFire · 19/10/2021 11:52

@AnotherMansCause

I'd be having words with the housemate who was expecting the parcel. If they knew they weren't going to be in, they should have rearranged delivery.
I live in a house with other people. Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving.

Not sure how you missed that??

iwannabelikeyouhoohoo · 19/10/2021 11:52

@AnotherMansCause

I'd be having words with the housemate who was expecting the parcel. If they knew they weren't going to be in, they should have rearranged delivery.
Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving.

Literally the second sentence of the OP, @AnotherMansCause.

Really odd behaviour from the postie and I’d probably report it too. You are not obliged to open your door and the suggestion that OP pauses a presentation they are giving to collect a parcel they weren’t even expecting is so ridiculous. Posties aren’t gatekeepers for deliveries - there are systems in place for undeliverable parcels for a reason.

Original poster
OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:53

@Viviennemary

Answer the door. What is wrong with people. So selfish and rude.
So if Amazon then delivers, then DHL I'm to answer the door in a presentation 3 times? (This often happens in a house with more than one adult living in it...)
OP posts:
TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat · 19/10/2021 11:53

When I used to work from home I was pretty much always on calls with clients. No way would I have interrupted a call to go and answer the door to the postman. Given the quite serious nature of the calls, it would have been very unprofessional and rude to my clients to say "oh hang a sec, just need to get the door because the postie is here". Wtf? I can't believe some people think this is ok.

IVflytrap · 19/10/2021 11:53

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??

A large part of a postie's job description is literally dealing with post that can't be delivered, though? He could've tried a neighbour or put the standard red form through the letterbox. It's not up to posties to ascertain whether someone is capable of answering their door or not. Aside from work presentations, online interviews and so, some have disabilities or limited mobility that might also prevent them answering the door. Getting aggressive about it is unprofessional. The postie must have known the standard options available when someone doesn't answer.

Nesbo · 19/10/2021 11:55

You don’t stop a presentation to a group of people to answer the fucking door to a postman. As far as the rest of the world should be concerned you’re not there, you’re certainly not available. Christ almighty some people are so unprofessional

Original poster
OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:55

I can literally see the door from my window. Would you honestly ignore a man hammering on your door shouting I can see you or would you ignore? I think most women would want to know who that was.

OP posts:
mafted · 19/10/2021 11:55

Fed up of people not understanding the concept of working from home.
Surely it works both ways. WFH means there might be interruptions that don't happen in the office.
OP was clearly distracted by it surely it's better to explain why.

MidlifeMel · 19/10/2021 11:57

@outofservice

Weird not to answer the door to somebody who is busy trying to do their job. Am sure a quick excuse me to your very important colleagues would have been less distracting than listening to someone aggressively banging on your door for 5 whole minutes.
She was trying to do her job as well. What gives him the right to continue to bang and shout like that?
Dutch1e · 19/10/2021 11:57

I wonder if the same people saying "just answer the door" are the same people who assume WFH is a jolly and only office-based work is taken seriously

outofservice · 19/10/2021 11:58

@TinyTear yes, I’m a postie.

backformoreagain · 19/10/2021 11:59

YANBU but put a note taped to your door saying 'please leave parcels on the mat'.
End of problem (except for DPD who require your photo - for them write them a note saying 'DPD please leave parcels on the mat' - they need to be addressed properly take notice!)

bumblingbovine49 · 19/10/2021 11:59

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
Yes it is to me and the person delivering the post has a process for dealing with undelivered parcels, it is part of their job.

It is not part of my job to leave meetings to deal with my personal life issues unless it is an emergency.

bluelavender · 19/10/2021 12:00

If you are working from home; you are working, and that includes being respectful to your colleagues.

It would be unfair to continually disrupt the flow of a meeting to get up and answer the door. You should treat an online meeting like a more traditional meeting (turn up on or before time, look smart (at least from waist up) and be courteous).

On a more informal meeting its fine to say; sorry just popping away for a minute.

backformoreagain · 19/10/2021 12:00

As well as 'please leave parcels on mat' I have another one ' no cold callers'.
This is what I've learnt from decades of WFH.
Works 99% of time.

ravenmum · 19/10/2021 12:00

The postie probably has no experience that would enable them to understand why you might not come to the door despite being in the house. It's not really your job to educate them, but practically speaking it might be a good idea to put a note on the letterbox saying "Please knock once only" or email the post office asking them to train their employees better.

lescompagnonsdeloue · 19/10/2021 12:01

@outofservice

So your job is more important than the postie trying to do theirs??
Don't be silly, the delivery is the aim, but doing the job is also attempting to deliver. The attempt was unsuccessful, card through the door, job done. No need for the hysterical banging. Nobody was stopped from doing their job (except possibly the OP who was disturbed).
Legomania · 19/10/2021 12:02

You'd think that posties would have fewer redeliveries these days and would also be benefitting from all the wfh...

Original poster
OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 12:02

@backformoreagain

YANBU but put a note taped to your door saying 'please leave parcels on the mat'. End of problem (except for DPD who require your photo - for them write them a note saying 'DPD please leave parcels on the mat' - they need to be addressed properly take notice!)
Re leaving parcels on the mat, they can't. My door literally opens out on to a pavement. For those who are saying I should have left. Imagine similar to giving a presentation about child exploitation and abuse and talking about how victims need to be given due care and attention etc, then answering the door to the postman. I just couldn't.
OP posts:
iwannabelikeyouhoohoo · 19/10/2021 12:03

@ravenmum

The postie probably has no experience that would enable them to understand why you might not come to the door despite being in the house. It's not really your job to educate them, but practically speaking it might be a good idea to put a note on the letterbox saying "Please knock once only" or email the post office asking them to train their employees better.
Oh dear, this is not going to go down well.
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