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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Postman smashing on door and shouting

447 replies

OttilieStonelady · 19/10/2021 11:12

I live in a house with other people. Someone else had something sent to them by a family member so neither of us knew it was arriving. He's not in. Postman came to door to drop off. Saw me upstairs and I swear was banging on my door for 5 minutes so hard it sounded like he was going to break in. Rang the door over and over and over banging in-between. He disappeared, I guess delivered neighbours post then came back and banged on my door again, then next again, then back to me again. He even shouted 'i can see you'. I can't leave when I'm in the middle of presenting to people, especially not senior management, presenting extremely sensitive data. It's not a big house so he would've known I'd have heard him. WIBU not to open the door? Was he BU to keep banging aggressively on my door? All round a weird experience.

OP posts:
ellyeth · 21/10/2021 12:45

In normal circumstances, ie if not doing a presentation for work, I would think it reasonable and community-minded to answer the door to the postman. However, I don't think another occupant should be obliged to take in a delivery, and I think the postman was very rude.

Allergictoironing · 21/10/2021 13:23

Lets look at 2 similar scenarios.

First one, you are doing an important presentation at work in the conference room to the Board. One of the junior staff comes up to the door, bashes on it and holds up a form (you can't see exactly what the form is). Do you stop this presentation to see what they want, or carry on?

Second one. You are doing a similar presentation, this time at home. Your landline rings. Do you put the presentation on hold to answer the phone?

I'm pretty sure the majority of people will agree that in both cases you carry on & not interrupt the presentation. So why should a postman with a random parcel (which could just as easily be for another house for all you know) be so much more important?

2Two · 21/10/2021 13:31

Hopefully the OP WFH now has a sign prepared for when they can’t answer the door.

But it's not just her door. The other housemates might justifiably be quite pissed off if she assumes the postman is only interested in delivering to her.

Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 13:41

outofservice You are a genius. I will get Royal Mail Marketing Department to recruit you immediately. Forget all that careful branding of the “postie” as the trusted friendly thoughtful polite uniformed person who will deliver your parcels on behalf of the company who sent them (thereby complimenting their brand). There should be a whole new strategy with postmen being trained and enabled to be entitled aggressive people who bang down your door and yell at you and expect you to drop whatever you are doing be it work, or in the middle of something else important eg breastfeeding, or that you are physically unable to get to the door because of a disability or injury.

Yes that would be a brilliant strategy. In fact all the service industries should drop any notions of providing customer service by meeting customer needs.

That would work so much better Hmm

Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 13:44

Obviously forget too the whole process that RM marketing have set up whereby people who can’t take delivery of a parcel on the doorstep or left in a safe space for whatever reason can instead rearrange delivery for a day when they can or pick them up at a time convenient for them. I mean why would you have that process in place, for the last fifty years at least?

VanGoghsDog · 21/10/2021 13:48

@2Two

Hopefully the OP WFH now has a sign prepared for when they can’t answer the door.

But it's not just her door. The other housemates might justifiably be quite pissed off if she assumes the postman is only interested in delivering to her.

Then they can take it down if they are in and able to open the door, can't they?

I'm assuming the op lives with other adults who have brains and don't expect the op to do everything for them. I might be wide of the mark of course!

HMBB · 21/10/2021 14:00

YANBU So many bonkers replies saying OP should have answered the door! Incredibly unprofessional during a presentation.

It also doesn't matter whether she is wearing headphones or not (not sure who said that) she was still busy and he should not have reacted that way. I don't wear headphones but I still take calls and present - does that mean I should be at the beck and call of everybody who comes to the door!?!

He was unreasonable and rude!

outofservice · 21/10/2021 14:00

@Emilyontmoor never had a problem with breastfeeding mums coming to the door, quickly learned where my disabled customers live and safe placed accordingly. WFH customers giving presentations from their homes is entirely new to me but I understand now and will adapt accordingly. I haven’t been in the situation yet where I see someone in the building and they don’t answer the door but I am well prepared now.

Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 14:02

Vangoghsdog I have seen reams of market research done for Royal Mail on how to improve the customer experience in order to improve their competitive advantage in the home shopping market. I can safely say that neither your or outofservice’s ideas have ever cropped up because simply put they would really piss off the vast majority of customers and dissuade business customers for using them as their representatives.

That is a marketing strategy only Hermes uses….. (and it really does lose them customers)

Jakadaal · 21/10/2021 14:05

@outofservice

Weird not to answer the door to somebody who is busy trying to do their job. Am sure a quick excuse me to your very important colleagues would have been less distracting than listening to someone aggressively banging on your door for 5 whole minutes.
But the OP was the customer and he had options eg leave the parcel or return it to the depot. I would not risk looking unprofessional in a meeting by leaving to answer the door
Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 14:09

outofservice WFH customers giving presentations from their homes is entirely new to me

On what planet do you live? I am sure there were times I did not answer the door to a postman whilst breastfeeding and / or WFH for the Royal Mail. My DD is now 29 and I was working on a phoned in internet connection. It is absolutely nothing new and has been fed into RM strategy for at least that long.

I am glad to hear you have got to know some of your customer’s needs but if you still think you are entitled to them dropping everything to answer the door and it is reasonable to summon them by banging on the door and yelling at them then you are not implementing Royal Mail’s business strategy.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 21/10/2021 14:14

Had this at a holiday cottage, I was asleep and dh in the bath with music on. Postman banged and banged, woke up in a fright and parcel was actually for next door. Didn't take it as we were checking out next day and didn't know when next booking was.
YANBU.

VanGoghsDog · 21/10/2021 14:14

People presenting from home is new?

Don't you watch TV? Whole shows have been presented from home, comedy shows, panel shows, even Covid updates. People have zoomed into the news from their living room, there have been numerous examples of people being interrupted by kids, pets etc, some very important and senior people talking on TV shows. Obviously cats and kids is a bit different - obnoxious posties can just fuck off!

VanGoghsDog · 21/10/2021 14:16

@Emilyontmoor

Vangoghsdog I have seen reams of market research done for Royal Mail on how to improve the customer experience in order to improve their competitive advantage in the home shopping market. I can safely say that neither your or outofservice’s ideas have ever cropped up because simply put they would really piss off the vast majority of customers and dissuade business customers for using them as their representatives.

That is a marketing strategy only Hermes uses….. (and it really does lose them customers)

What "ideas" of mine? I don't think I gave any.
outofservice · 21/10/2021 14:17

@VanGoghsDog no, been out delivering unprecedented amounts of parcels and post. I’ll fuck off now.

VanGoghsDog · 21/10/2021 14:18

[quote outofservice]@VanGoghsDog no, been out delivering unprecedented amounts of parcels and post. I’ll fuck off now.[/quote]
24 hours a day? Aye, right.

VanGoghsDog · 21/10/2021 14:18

Don't worry though, if we have to keep leaving our jobs to open the door for parcels we'll get sacked and not be able to buy anything so you won't have as many parcels to deliver.

PiglingBlonde · 21/10/2021 14:22

[quote outofservice]@browneyes77 the postman in the OPs thread saw her in her property. He had an item to deliver. His behaviour wasn’t acceptable and he will possibly be reported. The red cards are ‘sorry we missed you’ the postman hadn’t missed the customer, he could see her. He shouted that he could see her. Why would he leave a card to say he had missed her at that point? He doesn’t know she is giving a presentation.
Delivery offices are offering a 2 hour collection window in some areas and the postman will want to deliver the item/leave in a safe place or possibly with a neighbour (although with covid, this isn’t always a viable option)
He is trying to save the customer the ‘hassle’ of going to collect the parcel.
Hopefully the OP WFH now has a sign prepared for when they can’t answer the door. I see a nice one painted on a piece of hardboard ‘in a meeting, leave by door, I am in and will get it ASAP’ and the hopefully OP will report the postie and the company will let their postal workers know there has been another shift in the way operations are carried out.[/quote]
The postman had missed the customer. The op was not the customer, just a housemate so there was absolutely no reason why the postman couldn't fill in the little card and take the parcel back to the depot, except that he was too lazy.

Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 14:39

Vangogh So you weren’t suggesting OP and her housemates have a rotating signage system to inform the postman of their availability to be delivered to?

Our walk never has the same postman twice and there is a disabled person in the family who sits in the front room watching television quite a bit when they do the round but we have never had an issue with doors being battered down or even the doorbell ring more than once. Nor do we have or need a system of signage saying that she can’t get to the door. They all either leave the item behind the pot where there is an obvious safe space or leave a red card. Not surprising really as it is their job

Stoppochoco · 21/10/2021 14:59

Maybe the op needs signage to say -
'the person in this house has a VERY important job, much more important that yours (DOUBT YOU'D UNDERSTAND) so can't come to the door'
That should do it.

VanGoghsDog · 21/10/2021 15:06

@Emilyontmoor

Vangogh So you weren’t suggesting OP and her housemates have a rotating signage system to inform the postman of their availability to be delivered to?

Our walk never has the same postman twice and there is a disabled person in the family who sits in the front room watching television quite a bit when they do the round but we have never had an issue with doors being battered down or even the doorbell ring more than once. Nor do we have or need a system of signage saying that she can’t get to the door. They all either leave the item behind the pot where there is an obvious safe space or leave a red card. Not surprising really as it is their job

No, I didn't suggest that all.

I said I sometimes put a note on the door if I won't be able to answer. And I'm not the only person who said it. Then someone ridiculously said but other people live there, and I said then they could take it down.

I don't know what a "rotating signage system" would be but no, I didn't suggest it.

If the post comes and the door needs to be opened and you can't do that, it does make sense to let the postie know somehow. A note has worked perfectly well for me before, but my postie is a nice chap. And if not, you didn't put one up, were unexpectedly unable to answer (which happens a lot anyway, as you say, with someone disabled, or just if you're on the loo etc), or whatever, then the postie does what they do normally if the door is not answered - try a neighbor or leave a card.

Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 15:30

*Stoppochoco

Maybe the op needs signage to say -
'the person in this house has a VERY important job, much more important that yours (DOUBT YOU'D UNDERSTAND) so can't come to the door'
That should do it.*

Why? OP has in no way implied her job is more important than the postman’s. Just made the point that she could not answer the door because of it. To imply she has is chippy and says more about you than her.

And the fact is that OP should be important to the postman because she might be his customer (as it happens she wasn’t even that) and providing a service to her is what Royal Mail’s customers pay for, and those sales pay his wages. He has a carefully designed process for providing that service, one that has been designed specifically to meet the researched customer need so that customers continue to pay for that service. It does not require the OP to answer the door or provide a sign stating her availability. It just requires him to knock or ring the bell and if there is no answer to leave the item in a safe place or leave a red card so the person the parcel is addressed to (not even OP of course) can rearrange delivery or pick up the item. He knows that is what is expected of him, it is what he was trained in. He knows full well that banging a door down and shouting at a customer is rude and a disciplinary offence.

Actually OP is going above and beyond in her respect for him, a respect he doesn’t deserve, in even suggesting such rudeness is not unreasonable. It isn’t even a matter of what his job is, it is a matter of the common politeness and decency any human being should show out of respect for someone else.

I think too often women are too accepting of this sort of bullying behaviour from men, and we shouldn’t be.

MajorCarolDanvers · 21/10/2021 15:43

[quote outofservice]@Emilyontmoor never had a problem with breastfeeding mums coming to the door, quickly learned where my disabled customers live and safe placed accordingly. WFH customers giving presentations from their homes is entirely new to me but I understand now and will adapt accordingly. I haven’t been in the situation yet where I see someone in the building and they don’t answer the door but I am well prepared now.[/quote]
WFH customers giving presentations from their homes is entirely new to me but I understand now and will adapt accordingly

18 months into this and people wfh is new to you? Crikey.

Stoppochoco · 21/10/2021 16:07

*WFH customers giving presentations from their homes is entirely new to me but I understand now and will adapt accordingly

18 months into this and people wfh is new to you? Crikey.*

I think this is were my sign would have come in handy.

Emilyontmoor · 21/10/2021 16:42

stoppo I think this is were my sign would have been evidence of my chip on my shoulder

There corrected it for you.