Are they being unreasonable? Work and mat leave

[MatLeaveHassle]

My work keep hassling me to know what I plan to do when/if I come back from maternity leave because other staff have asked to change their hours and they don't want to agree until they know what I'm going to do.

If I was right at the end I'd understand but I still have well over 6 months left (they knew I was taking the full year) and I don't want to keep being pestered for a decision right this minute.

AIBU to think they shouldn't keep asking me? In truth I don't yet know what I want to do when I go back, whether I'll request less hours etc.. nearer the time. I do plan to give them notice of my plans when I've made them but not over 6 months worth! It's putting so much stress on me feeling like I've got to make a decision right now and that what I decide now will affect colleagues requests.

If you don’t want them to keep asking you need to give a really clear response back that you don’t know yet but appreciate this means you might not get the days/hours you want at a later date. I don’t think it’s unreasonable of them to ask. But if you don’t yet know, then you don’t know.

(I had a nursery place reserved with a deposit at 20 weeks pregnant and requested to reduce my hours on return, before I went on maternity leave; but I was quite restricted in our options - if you’ve got family childcare instead I guess you can sort it all out at shorter notice).

You're shooting yourself in the foot here, OP. You have an opportunity to arrange things how you want them. They're actually being nice by including you here. They could just approve everyone else's requests and by the time you wanna go back, you can stuff it. I really don't understand your thinking at all.

If you take the additional maternity leave (3 months unpaid) they don't have to give you the same job Back, just a similar role.

I think they are being very thoughtful, they're making sure that you are considered in plenty of time. If you don't want to be considered, and you are clearly aware that not telling them may be detrimental to what you want... then crack on

Personally I think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I think you're making it into more of a thing than it is. Just tell them you havent decided what you'll be doing yet, are unlikely to until nearer the time, and you appreciate this means you may not be able to do what you want because of leaving it until then.

Then if you cant get the hours you want because they have already sorted out other people and dont have a business need for what you're looking to do, it is what it is.

I imagine they're just trying to keep everyone happy and ensure you're able to continue working there by asking now so they can sort everyone at once with the reshuffle they appear to be doing. If they knew now what you wanted to do there would be more chance in delivering it. If they find out when you are about to come back, they may have to turn you down. I actually think it's good of them to be thinking this way rather than just waiting until you're about to come back and then not being able to accommodate you. I'd also have thought it is in your interests to think about this and sort it out this far ahead of time. I've been on a nursery waiting list for a good 7 months now. Still no sign of a space. Luckily I dont need it for childcare but it's for social development. However I would be screwed if I had needed it for work.

I'm probably affected in my thinking though by the fact I am someone who doesnt see my work as something just to pay the bills, I actually do love it so I was sad enough to be sending emails while still in hospital post birth :/ not suggesting that's a good thing!

My understanding is that you would need to ask them to change your hours three months before your return date. That’s how long they have to consider a flexible work request. My employer wrote to me to remind me of this about 7/8 months through my mat leave.

They actually sound really helpful trying to accommodate what you might like. Most people do have plans but this point as have had to secure nursery or childminder places.

I think saying "I know they might not be able to accommodate the hours I want when I go back" is very strange of you. If you get a nursery that can only have your child at the end of the week, but your office requires you to work at the start of the week, surely you understand this means you won't be able to work?

I sorted my childcare at the start of my maternity leave, to make sure I could go back on the hours I wanted and my child had confirmed childcare.

You don't legally HAVE to tell your work yet, but they're trying to help you early by giving you first dibs. Most women would be glad of that.

Yes I think you are being unreasonable. It's only 6 months until you go back. If you actually want to change anything with regards to your contract I'd be asking around now.

Would you prefer they let someone else go part time and then refuse you when u give them a couple of months notice. I think they are being very nice to even ask you. Why don't you tell them roughly what u wld be looking for but say u haven't finalised it exactly. I wouldn't risk them refusing u further down the line.

I asked about 4/5 months before and when I think about it now I shld have probably asked earlier. I struggled to get the day I needed in nursery. Luckily the one that had availability is very good.

Its annoying but If this was my work I would be getting in there first and be grateful they gave me the heads up to do so! You might find your request gets turned down because someone else asked first... They will be well in their rights to do this aswell as they will have good reason for refusing hours that someone else has already taken