Married name on passport and maiden name on everything else

[ClaraBean]

and is it even possible?
I am pregnant with number 5, although my older four children are 20, 18, 16 and 14. My 14 year old is autistic (so not wild about change)
DP and I will be getting married before baby is born, but my children do not want me to change my surname as they want to have the same name as me. DP and I cannot double barrel as our names are too similar (think Garland and Garner - very similar sounds to our names), also I love my surname and dont really want to ditch it.
However, I want to be able to travel easily with new dc sometimes without DH.
Can i use my married name on my passport and my maiden name on everything else? Am i hormonal and overthinking it? Is it going to make life outrageously complicated?

I changed my passport to my married name, just to make things easier in countries which don't approve of unmarried couples sharing a room, and one credit card. The rest I have left in my maiden name as I much prefer it!

my father travelled regularly solo with my children, he didn't have the same last name as them. I always gave him a letter giving permission to travel with them and not once was he ever asked for it or challenged

I have the same name as my DDs and I was challenged solo travelling with them

@AutumnAlmanack

I changed my passport to my married name, just to make things easier in countries which don't approve of unmarried couples sharing a room, and one credit card. The rest I have left in my maiden name as I much prefer it!

Bet your husband was never concerned about such things.

@AutumnAlmanack

I changed my passport to my married name, just to make things easier in countries which don't approve of unmarried couples sharing a room, and one credit card. The rest I have left in my maiden name as I much prefer it!

I've also travelled all over the world with my husband, before and after marriage, and never encountered an issue with different surnames.

I've never had a problem with this either.

The only issue we ever had was my parents queried in us immigration with eldest DS who was 8. we had sent a letter of consent and contact details and DS has my surname as a middle name so all was ok.

@NavigatingAdolescence

Maiden name.

Is it Misogyny Monday again already?

Men just have a name. From birth, forever. Why on earth, in 2021, are these ridiculousl, sexist expectations still in place for women?

I’ve had the same name since birth - over 40 years. Married 17 years. Never once used Mrs or DH’s name. So why am I getting birthday cards this week addressed to Mrs DH’s name from people who have known me since birth?! Answer: abject ducking sexism.

Buck the trend, OP. For our daughters’ (and their daughters’) sakes.

I have this too. And some of them persist in doing it to put me back in my box, despite having been politely requested to stop doing so.

It's so unbelievably rude to refuse to extend someone the basic courtesy of their own name. I'd rather they didn't bother sending me cards at all. Why trouble, if they don't know me well enough to know I've got a name?

As to the claim that names name automatically change on marriage for the party who happens to be female, surely there's no one out there who genuinely believes this?

Your family name is your family name unless you actively change it.

@AutumnAlmanack

I changed my passport to my married name, just to make things easier in countries which don't approve of unmarried couples sharing a room, and one credit card. The rest I have left in my maiden name as I much prefer it!

In many other countries and cultures married women don't change their family names. I don't understand for the life of me why this would be a problem.

I'm so glad I kept my name and gave the kids my name too. Really couldn't be arsed with all this nonsense.