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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he shouldn't have got that drunk

74 replies

hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:23

My husband and I went out to an event at the weekend and his parents came over to babysit. They are mid 70s, our children are 4 & 7. We got home around midnight. The 4 year old went to sleep about 9.30 and my 7 year old was up later (not sure precisely).

When we got home at midnight, FIL was so drunk he could barely talk. MIL doesn't drink so was fine. AIBU to think that FIL shouldn't have done that. Yes there was still another sober adult but I just feel it was completely unnecessary. As the kids went to bed quite late I am certain he was drunk whilst they were awake.

For context in the morning there were 2 empty gin bottles and 1 empty tonic so basically he was tanking straight gin all night. Not normal or ok surely.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 18/10/2021 20:24

Blimey.

Yes, I'd be worried. Not so much worried about the children, but very worried about FIL. What does your DH think? Is his dad a drinker usually?

OwlinaTree · 18/10/2021 20:25

Well it's not great, but there was a sober adult.

Just don't leave your fil in charge on his own.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 18/10/2021 20:27

If he genuinely drank 2 bottles of gin I am amazed he was conscious let alone able to talk

LaikO · 18/10/2021 20:28

It's not great that he was drunk around the kids, but at least MIL was sober. I wouldn't be happy, but I'd probably be more concerned about his level of drinking, I genuinely think 2 bottles of gin would kill me!

SarahAndQuack · 18/10/2021 20:29

@OwlinaTree

Well it's not great, but there was a sober adult.

Just don't leave your fil in charge on his own.

I slightly disagree with this - if he genuinely drank two bottles of gin, he could very easily have ended up injuring himself. Could MIL cope with that plus two small children?
pumpkinpie01 · 18/10/2021 20:30

What a weird thing to do when he babysitting ? Does he have form for this ?

Ozberry · 18/10/2021 20:30

Yeah, I’d be worried about him more than the kids really, but not good.
What size gin bottles?! One might not have been full to start with but that’s a lot of gin, especially when he’s babysitting.

thepeopleversuswork · 18/10/2021 20:31

Yeah not cool at all. As @SarahAndQuack says I'd be less concerned about the children being at risk if there was a sober adult there, more just that its pretty grim and undignified to have to get that drunk when you're having a night in with children. What if they'd seen him like that? Set's a terrible example. I wouldn't want my kids seeing people pissed like this routinely.

He clearly has a major problem. Your poor MIL. I wouldn't have them to babysit again.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/10/2021 20:32

Two empty gin bottles = he's an alcoholic. Was this your first inkling?

Cuntness · 18/10/2021 20:33

Can people actually drink that much? I almost had my stomach pumped for much less than that!

Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:33

@sweeneytoddsrazor

If he genuinely drank 2 bottles of gin I am amazed he was conscious let alone able to talk
Sorry I should clarify that one bottle was my gin and wouldn't have been full. So maybe he drank about 1.5 bottles
OP posts:
Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:34

@SarahAndQuack

Blimey.

Yes, I'd be worried. Not so much worried about the children, but very worried about FIL. What does your DH think? Is his dad a drinker usually?

We don't see them much but yes. I said to DH that basically confirms your dad is an alcoholic and he said it's fine because he is old and it makes him happy
OP posts:
Yogawankonobi · 18/10/2021 20:35

That’s a weird thing to do and really not fair on mil!

Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:36

@pumpkinpie01

What a weird thing to do when he babysitting ? Does he have form for this ?
It's extremely rare that they babysit. I have issues with MIL due to past times where she has went against my wishes with the kids so I only ask them if I'm desperate
OP posts:
Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:37

@Cuntness

Can people actually drink that much? I almost had my stomach pumped for much less than that!
He is a fairly tall guy and drinks a lot every day (I now assume) so I suppose he has a tolerance. My issues aside it's actually fascinating that someone can drink like that and not get Ill!
OP posts:
thepeopleversuswork · 18/10/2021 20:38

I said to DH that basically confirms your dad is an alcoholic and he said it's fine because he is old and it makes him happy

Urgh. Does that not upset your DH? That would make me seriously question my marriage tbh. I would find it intolerable to see a parent like that.

Does your DH have a similar attitude to alcohol?

Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:38

@MrsTerryPratchett

Two empty gin bottles = he's an alcoholic. Was this your first inkling?
Yes! I always knew he liked a drink but thought he could live without it for an evening. Whenever they are round to visit in the day he is always desperate to leave. He is the driver so now I realise it's probably because he is desperate to get home and drink (they live almost 2 hours away)
OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 18/10/2021 20:40

Yup. And you can't change it and you really don't want it near your children. Sad

toomuchlaundry · 18/10/2021 20:41

When did FIL drive home?

Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:42

"I slightly disagree with this - if he genuinely drank two bottles of gin, he could very easily have ended up injuring himself. Could MIL cope with that plus two small children?"

He recently did hurt his knee and the story was that it was an accident in the garden. We later found out he actually fell over when drunk. MIL can barely work a mobile phone so no she could not. I won't be asking them to babysit again that's for sure. I feel sick that I left my kids in their care in that state. MIL is the type to go against everything I say - feeds them uncut grapes because she thinks I'm OTT, that type of thing!

OP posts:
Cinders15 · 18/10/2021 20:42

Sorry - he is the driver???? How on earth did they get home?
I wouldn't be keen on either of them looking after my kids to be honest! 😱

Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:43

@thepeopleversuswork

I said to DH that basically confirms your dad is an alcoholic and he said it's fine because he is old and it makes him happy

Urgh. Does that not upset your DH? That would make me seriously question my marriage tbh. I would find it intolerable to see a parent like that.

Does your DH have a similar attitude to alcohol?

No my DH doesn't have any alcohol problems thankfully. I think he just thinks the only person his dad is harming is himself and doesn't see the issue.
OP posts:
toocold54 · 18/10/2021 20:43

A couple drinks when there’s a sober adult - fine.
But getting pissed out of your face would upset me - it’s one day babysitting.
However it sounds like he has a problem and ‘can’t help it’.

Original poster
hereforthechat · 18/10/2021 20:44

@toomuchlaundry

When did FIL drive home?
The following day around lunch time. I was actually asleep when they left (I didn't get a good sleep during the night) or I would have said something
OP posts:
Yogawankonobi · 18/10/2021 20:46

He’s the driver?!

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