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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to phone the school?

130 replies

sportmom11 · 17/10/2021 21:54

Name changed for this.

An old school friend of mine works as a teaching assistant in the local primary school. This evening, she has uploaded a photo to Facebook of her two nephews aged 9 & 10 drinking an alcopop to celebrate their football team winning a game.

WIBU to phone the school tomorrow and let the safeguarding lead know? Her nephews attend the same school she works in.

I know it’s not illegal for under 18s to drink alcohol at home, but surely it’s morally wrong? And as a teaching assistant she should know better?

Or should I keep my nose out? As an ex teacher I used to despair when kids (15/16) came in to school with a hangover!

OP posts:
rrhuth · 17/10/2021 22:35

That's awful from a member of school.staff, what a prat.

I think the school would be concerned about it if they were aware.

MacMahon · 17/10/2021 22:35

What are you planning on saying to the school that you’re not saying to her?

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 17/10/2021 22:35

Why don’t you have it out with her op instead of involving her workplace?

PeachesPumpkin · 17/10/2021 22:36

Report it yourself rather than leave everything to the school as usual. It was you who saw the post, the school haven’t - all they could say is “sportmom says that she saw…”
If YOU are concerned about a child’s welfare the YOU should take action.

Littlescottiedog · 17/10/2021 22:36

Are you sure you're her friend? Just delete her from your friends list if your first thought on seeing a post like that is to potentially get her in trouble with her place of work. Sheesh.

justasking111 · 17/10/2021 22:37

School mum became a teaching assistant her FB reported she had a lovely night with OH sex act and gadgets described in detail. I sent her a PM warning her she could lose her job at a primary. She replied it was fine. Think she was still drunk. It was removed the next day and has never been repeated, thankfully

VillKrill · 17/10/2021 22:37

If you’re actually concerned, speak to your friend. She sounds like she’s made a poor decision but why would you try and jeopardize her livelihood over it when you could just have a quiet word with her if it really concerns you?

Honestly, with friends who’d rather report you to your employers than actually talk to you, who needs enemies?!

VillKrill · 17/10/2021 22:38

@justasking111 exactly, that was the decent thing to do

Lipsandlashes · 17/10/2021 22:39

Wow. With friends like you…
Probably the kids were just posing with it - how would you have any proof otherwise?
Why do you want to get your friend fired from their job? What is wrong with you?

WorraLiberty · 17/10/2021 22:41

[quote VillKrill]@justasking111 exactly, that was the decent thing to do[/quote]
Exactly.

The decent and grown up thing to do, rather than starting an anonymous thread like this, having name changed so the 'friend' she's thinking about stabbing in the back, won't even know it was her.

Tailendofsummer · 17/10/2021 22:42

I know it’s not illegal for under 18s to drink alcohol at home, but surely it’s morally wrong? And as a teaching assistant she should know better?
What does this even mean? I wouldn't do it, but could I tell a friend she was being immoral, while doing something perfectly legal? And try to get her in trouble at work?

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 17/10/2021 22:42

Keep ya neb out!

Hankunamatata · 17/10/2021 22:44

It's a daft unthought out photo of them posing. Of course u dont report to the school

MissCruellaDeVil · 17/10/2021 22:46

No action will be taken if you phone the school, they aren't her kids and it's not illegal.

userchange987 · 17/10/2021 22:50

I would assume it was a joke.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 17/10/2021 22:50

It's trashy to me, but literally none of my business. You're not the moral police.

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 17/10/2021 22:53

"Hi school, one of your teaching assistants posted a photo of children doing something perfectly legal, that she had no say in because they aren't her children, and there's no evidence they did anything other than pose for the photo" Confused go right ahead op.

WorriedGiraffe · 17/10/2021 22:54

YABU, and a terrible friend.

Imknackeredzzz · 17/10/2021 22:58

Get a life

godmum56 · 17/10/2021 23:05

hmmm. Is the footy team a school one? If there is a link between the kids and the school and this is clear in the post then maybe a gentle word to your friend about the inadvisability of such a post?

bananaboats · 17/10/2021 23:19

Nothing to do with you and you don't sound like much of a friend!

ImitationofBeing · 17/10/2021 23:27

Keep your sniffy little nose out

Hoardasurass · 17/10/2021 23:34

Thats a really bad idea
1st they aren't her kids so she has no legal responsibility for them drinking
2nd no laws have been broken
3rd who made you the morals police (hit we don't have any in the UK)
4th a friend wouldn't even consider sabotaging another friend carer

Kite22 · 17/10/2021 23:40

You don't sound much of a friend tbh if your first instinct is to report her to her workplace rather than speaking to her about your "concern"

This.
Be a grown up. Be a friend.
Have a quiet word that she might want to be careful what she posts now she works in a school. But also expect her to roll her eyes at you not being able to differentiate between 2 kids posing with a bottle and her going out and getting them drunk.

converseandjeans · 17/10/2021 23:58

I would imagine it's a joke. I don't think it's any business of the school she works in. I doubt she would take alcopops into school? Just message her directly & say she should take down?

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