Help! Son must not have access to child trust fund

[Comingup]

My son will be 18 soon and is addicted to weed, he is aggressive and abusive. Can anyone tell me what actually happens when18th birthday comes up? Do they write to the child? Can I stop it from maturing or whatever it does. I am really panicking as I have had a massive altercation with him where he admits spending a fortune every week on weed. I plan to ring the company but after tonight don't think I will sleep at the thought of him having any more money to harm himself with.

I'm sorry I have no advice for you but this, in a very general sense, teenagers making bad money decisions (I was pretty responsible and sensible but still did it myself at 18 - with my own savings though) is exactly why we didn't top up the ctf or open any accounts in the kids names. We save for them in our own names foregoing all those benefits but with the knowledge that there will be a chunk of money for them when they want it to do something that we deem worthwhile. They are 8 and 13 so we don't know what that will be but are quite open in our ideas of what we would help them out with. It's something I thought about very seriously when oldest was a baby and just say it for parents of younger kids reading.

[quote CateJW]@Cocomarine this thread is making me think I made a good choice there then!![/quote]

@CateJW but our kids were born in the early 2000s so how did we make the wrong choice to take the free money?

@HeartsAndClubs

It may not be an issue anyway. DN turned 18 recently and rang whatever line it is you have to talk to and was told all the funds closed 2 years ago and there is no way of accessing them any more.

I don’t know anyone else who has one, but I do know that he’s been told by the gov team that he won’t be given any money.

Sorry this is not true. My DS got his in Dec when he turned 18 and so did his friends.

They write to you about 6 weeks before asking you to provide bank details for them to transfer it to.
Depended on how much was put in, it could be a minimum of £700. Sadly you can't control how it is paid, only he can.

Depends on the type of account regarding age repsonsibility.
My mother set up a small savings account at a major bank when my kids were babies.- When my kids turned 16 she no longer had any access to the accounts and they were free to spend.
THankfully I have saved for my children in accounts in my name only.

Could you give him the government trust fund amount which by others on here have said is worth about £1000 on his 18th Birthday (get the exact amount his fund is paying)and keep quiet on the other inheritance stuff.

Ask him what he wants doing with it. Although you do know he is going to want the cash.
Hopefully in time he will thank you for it.

I think what you describe by his explosive rages is IED. Usually comes together with ADHD, Aspergers, Autism

There is talking therapy which I am sure he isn’t really going to engage with or age. People do grow out of it.

I was diagnosed with ADHD later in life after enormous struggles that have wrecked my life and I recognise IED in myself (and Ds and Dd) well into my 30s although I am now quite calm and can usually take shit from all sorts of areas of my life but even now (in my 60s) don’t be in my way when I snap over the tiniest things.

@Bythemillpond hasn't she added to the CTF so it's all in there together now?

@CatandFiddleForestGin I didnt say anyone made bad choices??

I had the choice of 3 types of account including a JISA and nowhere did I clock it saying you lose all access to the money if you pick the JISA, so I lucked onto a good choice, simply cos we wanted to be able to access it if something big came up, school trip, help buy a car etc,

[quote CateJW]@Cocomarine this thread is making me think I made a good choice there then!![/quote]
We didn’t get a choice. If you didn’t invest the money in a designated Child Trust Fund the government did it for you and chose the provider.

[quote CateJW]@CatandFiddleForestGin I didnt say anyone made bad choices??

I had the choice of 3 types of account including a JISA and nowhere did I clock it saying you lose all access to the money if you pick the JISA, so I lucked onto a good choice, simply cos we wanted to be able to access it if something big came up, school trip, help buy a car etc,[/quote]
Junior ISA’s weren’t introduced until 2011. They replaced the Child Trust Fund which was free money given by the government. I never added a penny to ds’s. I couldn’t afford to.

[quote CateJW]@CatandFiddleForestGin I didnt say anyone made bad choices??

I had the choice of 3 types of account including a JISA and nowhere did I clock it saying you lose all access to the money if you pick the JISA, so I lucked onto a good choice, simply cos we wanted to be able to access it if something big came up, school trip, help buy a car etc,[/quote]
It certainly was luck then, because it’s hard to miss that you can’t withdraw from a JISA! How did you miss that?!

[quote CateJW]@CatandFiddleForestGin I didnt say anyone made bad choices??

I had the choice of 3 types of account including a JISA and nowhere did I clock it saying you lose all access to the money if you pick the JISA, so I lucked onto a good choice, simply cos we wanted to be able to access it if something big came up, school trip, help buy a car etc,[/quote]

@CateJW by saying you made a good choice you implied other people didn't when the reality was there was no choice.

The police ( at least round here) aren't interested. This is in response to a pp. They often have a word with groups smoking , but unless they are searched and found to have enough on them to suspect dealing ,they have an informal chat and move on. I do roughly know where they hang out and who he is with but again, I have no hold over him.

We did add to DD due to lack of money and let the government invest it- she’s just put the £1500 in an ISA
We were so pleased as couldn’t afford to save for her and have no family etc

Really irritating the way so many posters almost saying tut tut..see, this is why I wasn’t so silly as to open a ctf for MY dc’. They sound very smug and it’s not what the op needs to hear. She’s asking for advice on her situation, not wanting to hear about how oh so smart other posters are!

@LeekChic yes exactly that.

@somewhereoverthechipshop

Really irritating the way so many posters almost saying tut tut..see, this is why I wasn’t so silly as to open a ctf for MY dc’. They sound very smug and it’s not what the op needs to hear. She’s asking for advice on her situation, not wanting to hear about how oh so smart other posters are!

Especially as she had no choice. I never opened one for my about to turn 18 year old Ds. Eventually the government wrote to me to tell me they’d done it for me.

LeekChic

Bythemillpond hasn't she added to the CTF so it's all in there together now

I was thinking along the lines of telling him the amount which would be in line with his mates accounts and then just giving him that amount to blow/smoke through.

I wonder does he need to see any paperwork.

My fear would be if given the lot he would party even harder and would OD on stronger drugs than weed.

I think the first thing I would do is get all mail redirected to a post office box. The last thing you want is for him to find that envelope.

Ahh @Bythemillpond , I get you now, apologies.

My son had an email about his so I guess I depend what the set up is.

@somewhereoverthechipshop yes absolutely and obviously
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I wouldn't have added to it if I'd known, it would have gone into something else. But honestly, who ever would think their child would go off and do this.

Op I’m sorry and non of this is your fault.
I would try and keep it under wraps until he’s capable. If it helps I set my dd up with an online account with her provider and did so using her NI number which gives her full access to the money. I had to change the address as they held an old one.
You could do the same if you have ds NI number and change the address to one of a family member to ensure DS doesn’t get letters?

@Shadedog

Which parent stares at their gorgeous baby and thinks "nope, I'll save nothing for you as I'm sure you'll be irresponsible/a gambler/drug addict." We want the world for our children, so will save what we can for them

I absolutely was worried my dc would become gamblers or drug addicts and it’s the whole reason I didn’t top up the ctf. My father was an addict and died when I was a teen as a result of his addiction. I have to be at work in 5 hours and I’m on my phone because I’ve got shit control. My DH has 2 relatives who’ve gambled their homes and businesses away (gambling vv prevalent in our culture). I know some people just don’t know anyone with addiction issues but it’s naive as fuck to think it’s only something that happens to other people. Every addict is someone’s baby. The OPs ds was once an adorable baby. You can financially support your dc without having to hand over everything you have ever saved at 18. Even without addiction people often make short term choices at 18, which isn’t appropriate with long term money. I’ve paid for driving lessons and cars before 18, and am prepared to contribute towards university, houses, babies, weddings over the next 20 years or so. I don’t need to hand over a wad at 18 and say “this is for your house deposit in 8 years time and for a pram in 10 years and put the rest towards your honeymoon”.

I think it’s ridiculous to think you can hide the post and keep it from him. He is in college and presumably has same age friends from school. It will be being talked about and even a regular kid will be conscious of it. An addict will be hyper aware of what money is available and how to get it. Your best bet may be to try to persuade him to save a huge chunk of it. A LISA would be a good option as you struggle to get the money back without big penalties unless it’s for a house deposit. The government chip in 25% up to 1k a year so it’s heavily incentivised. An addict isn’t going to want to do this and you can’t force him but maybe he has moments of being sensible. He’s holding down a job and is still in college so all is not lost.

Perhaps you are right - from your personal experience. I'm not disrespecting that at all, but my own family, friends were not like that, and maybe the OP's family and friends aren't either, and maybe she (and I) were peering through rose-coloured spectacles when we were planning our son's future 18 years. Life doesn't always work out the way we think it will or want it to, but it's not a crime to hope and dream of a good future for your kids.

This concerns me. I put £1000 a month into one year old DS' similar account. My family intend to add a few thousand each year across birthdays and Christmas. It'll be nearly £300k when he's 18. That's a lot to go off the rails with.

@roarfeckingroarr

This concerns me. I put £1000 a month into one year old DS' similar account. My family intend to add a few thousand each year across birthdays and Christmas. It'll be nearly £300k when he's 18. That's a lot to go off the rails with.

Well then aren’t you lucky that you’ve read this thread 🤷🏻‍♀️

I was thinking along the lines of telling him the amount which would be in line with his mates accounts and then just giving him that amount to blow/smoke through.

It's not being given to him by OP, though - the bank will contact him direct when he turns 18 and he will have to deal with them directly as he's the account holder. OP has no control over it as it's in DS's name and they will only pay it to an account in his name.