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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not get son anything for birthday?

98 replies

Boiledpotatowitch · 17/10/2021 19:15

He will be 25 a bit of a milestone I think. I would love to decorate House go to dinner buy gifts cake etc. But he's barely speaking to me because of no real reason apart from he has been in a terrible mood for a week or so he is rude aggressive tells me to f off calls me a c multiple incidents too many to list, I got nothing at all for my birthday from him not even a happy birthday nothing for mothers day not even happy mothers day. Yes he has had mh issues but is fine just moody angry and takes his moods out on me. Would I be a complete bitch not to acknowledge this birthday like he doesn't acknowledge mine? I asked what he would like he said fuck off.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/10/2021 21:30

OP that's abusive you cant carry on living like that. I think you or he need to leave. How can your partner sit and watch you being treated like that?

lilcolibri · 17/10/2021 21:32

In that case OP can you just move out yourself?

If your DH lets a 25yo treat you like that and won't support you asking him to leave, maybe you need to leave them both...

Sounds an awful situation to be in.

AliceinBorderland · 17/10/2021 21:33

He calls you a cunt too?!

Mental health doesn't make anyone do that. He did that on his own. Get him nothing. I'd stop speaking to him.

Kuachui · 17/10/2021 21:34

I'm gobsmacked a 25 year old is speaking to his mum like that.. 😒🤔

I'm 28 and wouldn't dream of acting like that and would divorce my husband if he did.

Kuachui · 17/10/2021 21:35

As presents go it would be a nice card telling him to get the fuck out of my house and grow up.

Hankunamatata · 17/10/2021 21:36

I'd be handing him room rental adverts.

Hankunamatata · 17/10/2021 21:36

It's like being in an abusive relationship with your son

SmallWaistFatFace · 17/10/2021 21:40

You're being domestically abused. Call 101 and log if with the police.

Avocadoseed · 17/10/2021 21:42

So your husband allows him to speak to you like this? I would also be reconsidering my marriage, this is awful! 😢

Derbee · 17/10/2021 21:50

Your husband won’t agree with your adult son needing to move out, when he’s abusing you in your own home?! That needs addressing.

As for the birthday, i wouldn’t acknowledge it. A little dose of reality and a taste of his own medicine is overdue at 25.

Derbee · 17/10/2021 21:51

I’d also seriously consider whether your marriage is viable, or if you should be thinking about selling the house and all moving out.

billy1966 · 17/10/2021 21:54

@CiderJolly

He needs to move out, that’s domestic abuse. He should be ashamed of himself.
Absolutely domestic abuse.

I wouldn't care about his MH issues.

No one would ever tell me to fxxk off in my house and remain living here.

Get him out.

Gift my arse.

billy1966 · 17/10/2021 21:57

Your husband allows this?

Sell and separate.

Get somewhere small and safe and leave them to share.

Rogue1001 · 17/10/2021 22:00

Nobody's going to agree with me, but I think the birthday and kicking him out are 2 separate issues.

Yes, he needs to leave.

But its his BIRTHDAY. Of course you should get him a present.
Money towards a deposit? But it would be vile to give him nothing. It's your and it's a significant birthday

Rogue1001 · 17/10/2021 22:01

It's your child that should have said Blush

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 17/10/2021 22:01

@Boiledpotatowitch

Father's in picture lives here won't throw him out
Move out yourself and leave them to it
AliceinBorderland · 17/10/2021 22:17

@Rogue1001

Nobody's going to agree with me, but I think the birthday and kicking him out are 2 separate issues.

Yes, he needs to leave.

But its his BIRTHDAY. Of course you should get him a present.
Money towards a deposit? But it would be vile to give him nothing. It's your and it's a significant birthday

Hang on a minute it is vile not to buy an adult a birthday present who is frequently calling you a cunt and telling you to fuck off?!
Chickychickydodah · 17/10/2021 22:24

Get him a card and say init that he has 28 days notice to move out !

AcrossthePond55 · 17/10/2021 22:42

Some time ago there was a poster living in a similar situation: abusive son with MH issues and a spouse who enabled by not doing anything. Are you that poster? She was told to leave by many posters and honestly I can't remember what happened in the end.

I guess it really doesn't matter if it was you nor not, either way you need to leave. It's not worth staying and suffering abuse and worse, a spouse who enables it.

HebeJeeby · 17/10/2021 22:43

I’d get him a suitcase for his birthday. He can use it to pack his stuff …..

tolerable · 17/10/2021 22:51

shit in his shoes

Marvellousmadness · 17/10/2021 23:04

Rise above.
But only by a tiny amount.
Just buy him a birthday card that says happy birthday and leave it at that

Marvellousmadness · 17/10/2021 23:05

And write:" its time to move out of my house" on the inside

tensmum1964 · 17/10/2021 23:08

Obviously I don't know your circumstances re housing but if he won't leave and your husband allows a grown man to treat you this way then maybe its time for you to leave. Why live like this,?

Springplanting · 17/10/2021 23:20

what precipitated this?

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