To think if OH cared he would check up on me?

[readyforthewkend]

Got into a huge argument earlier over not much really both super stressed I'm down in the dumps been struggling with morning sickness (that lasts all day) since week 4 and im 15 weeks now. He has been picking up the slack and it is obviously getting to him.

I ended up telling him to leave and he has gone to his mums, I know we both need a break but when he left I had not long finished throwing my guts up and I have both DC's here. It feels like he doesn't care about me.

AIBU to think that or do I have good reason to feel that way.

Its normal in an argument for you to chuck him out??

This really isnt normal. It sounds like you're game playing .

No I've never chucked him out before ever. @PinkCricket that's fine your entitled to your opinion.

I asked that as you said you nromally check up on each other after an argument. But throwing someone out is huge, and 4 hours later to expect them to be wondering how you are when you chucked them out is a huge leap.

Are your arguments normally very shouty - to the extent your child has to cover her ears?

Is this a relationship you want?

I think there are bigger questions than whether someonr you chucked out the house has responded to a text.

You are sending quite mixed messages which might well be because you aren't at all sure (which would be understandable!)

He's called you now. There's no point rehashing if he should have called you sooner.
This scenario is completely unlike your other pregnancies. Not only is it during a pandemic but it seems it was an unwanted pregnancy too. It doesn't sound as though you've dealt with those issues. You've just swept them under the carpet.
Does your GP/midwife know about the issues at home and about the fact you'd booked an abortion then changed your mind? There is a lot to unpack.
If your DP is regularly shouting and abusive then counselling together won't help. If he's not abusive, then couples counselling might help. You both need to talk honestly about this pregnancy. Preferably out of earshot of your other DCs.

@readyforthewkend

No it's not we always check up on each other if we have had an argument and things have calmed down. It's not like him to not check up on me or respond to my texts.

So you have thrown him out several times?

Or has it got to the point where you want him out permanently?

@readyforthewkend

No I've never chucked him out before ever. *@PinkCricket* that's fine your entitled to your opinion.

The you can't say 'we always do x' because this is an entirely new situation.

He should have been kinder when you’re suffering so badly from sickness. But it sounds as if you’re both under a lot of stress, including financial worries, and need a bit of time to relax together.

Could you get a family member to look after DC for a day or an evening to give you and OH some quiet time together? and could you get them to help you during the day so you can rest?

Good luck, and i hope you both feel better soon.

@Clarefromwork

Mob mentality is fascinating on here, one person is unnecessarily critical and everyone else joins in

You all need to wind your necks in.

This is a real person and to expect to get a feel for her whole relationship from one post when she’s upset is ridiculous. She was upset and posted a little bit and then posted more as she is replying to people. It’s not drip feeding, it’s how conversations work.

I agree and not sure why the OP is getting so much stick. It was clear from her original post that the husband was an arse. He was resentful at having to pick up a bit of the slack for his pregnant wife who was struggling and seemingly uncaring towards her. We read here time and time again about men who fail to step up do their fair share and it sounds like a similar situation here. He should be on the phone apologising to her!

What I'm seeing is, you're both equally stressed, you kicked him out and now you're unhappy because he didn't chase you. Then the story changed to him being an abusive dick after everyone said YABU.

Tbh if I was 'picking up the slack' (as you say) and my OH kicked me out because they're stressed I would not be rushing to check they're okay.

I think you're playing silly games. You either want him there or not. If everything you said is true you both sound like a nightmare and bringing a third child into that is a bit irresponsible.

Hope you’re ok readyforthewkend, you got a few dismissive replies on here but I hope they didn’t bring you down.

You probably have a lot to think about with your relationship. Take your time and maybe post on the relationship section on here as I think you will get some really good advice (From what I have seen - AIBU can get hostile responses)

Or you can report this thread and request for it to be moved to the relationship board.