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Original poster

Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

828 replies

blueshoes · 16/10/2021 21:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? Sad We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

OP posts:
Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:01

@CheesyWeez

It depends entirely on your son's personality. He might be happy to stay at home or with friends. We went to Crete in August, and my son came down with COVID about 3 weeks before. He was just 16. Very mild symptoms, we only got him tested a week later so his official quarantine started then and we left him at home. We changed my daughter's flight dates so DH and I want on the holiday as normal, and then DD came to join us 4 days later. We hired a car and picked her up at Rhodes airport. This meant DS only had 3 days at home alone as I flew home as normal on day 7. DD and DH then prolonged the holiday a bit (hotel was delighted to have us for more nights) so DD got a whole week.

You could get the passport to come back, let him stay with friends for a short time and get someone to drive him to the airport when the passport arrives. 15 is big enough to travel by himself. Just a suggestion.

Yes, that is a good suggestion. If we can get an appointment on Monday with the passport office, ds joining us later is a possibility. Otherwise, I suspect the passport will arrive after we have returned home having left it so late.
OP posts:
ballsdeep · 17/10/2021 14:04

@blueshoes

Ds is lovely Smile.

Dh agreed he is not thrilled to go on holiday without ds. Neither am I. We explored the idea of cancelling Crete for all of us and booking on a staycation instead.

Unfortunately ds said he would rather couch-surf than go on another staycation. Can't say I blame him.

Op you're coming across really really badly here.
RuggerHug · 17/10/2021 14:09

Have you looked into postponing the holiday? Sorry I could only see about cancelling it for a staycation instead.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:10

Oh really? I think OP could manage it, especially if she's leaving "spends" that she understands will go on trainers and games. And if I couldn't take the financial hit then I'd lose the holiday. Still wouldn't leave one of the family behind. Everyone's different though, clearly.

It is a lot of money to lose if the entire family does not go but it is a sunk cost anyway because we are unlikely to get much back if we cancel now. So just a question of whether just some of us go or all of us don't go. We let ds decide. Maybe it is a big decision for him to decide. Putting this in perspective, it is far down the list of things that could end the world. He does not seem emotionally scarred (yet).

OP posts:
Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:11

Ds does not want another staycation and neither do we.

OP posts:
spurs4ever · 17/10/2021 14:13

@blueshoes

Oh really? I think OP could manage it, especially if she's leaving "spends" that she understands will go on trainers and games. And if I couldn't take the financial hit then I'd lose the holiday. Still wouldn't leave one of the family behind. Everyone's different though, clearly.

It is a lot of money to lose if the entire family does not go but it is a sunk cost anyway because we are unlikely to get much back if we cancel now. So just a question of whether just some of us go or all of us don't go. We let ds decide. Maybe it is a big decision for him to decide. Putting this in perspective, it is far down the list of things that could end the world. He does not seem emotionally scarred (yet).

I can imagine the conversation. Hmm
Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:16

@wewereliars

The thing is OP, your plan to farm your son out to 7 people or whatever means that a LOT of people are going to know that house is empty.

Teenagers talk to each other you know.

That is a concern if we put it out on social media but I don't think my son's friends' parents are criminals or will tip off criminals that go out to burgle. They know when each other go on family holidays so it is not like a state secret, at least that is what I am hoping. We rig up the house security-wise before we leave anyway.
OP posts:
Lightswitch123 · 17/10/2021 14:18

Basically, what clmes accross loud and clear is OP is largely indifferent to her DS. Can't be bothered to try and sort a passport, would rather leave him alone at home Confused

wewereliars · 17/10/2021 14:21

You sound really naive OP, it's not a question of your son's
friend's parents being criminals. The informaton that your house is empty is going to be a talking point amongst your son's peers and beyond.

Police often don't even come out for burglaries any more, and this is well known

DrManhattan · 17/10/2021 14:21

Can't believe the Daily Fail haven't picked up on this story. The more I read, the more I am inclined to think that this is not genuine.
Some of the replies are totally missing the point, yeah forgetting the renew the passport is a mistake, not taking your own kid is deliberate.

firstbirthdayideas · 17/10/2021 14:21

@Lightswitch123

Basically, what clmes accross loud and clear is OP is largely indifferent to her DS. Can't be bothered to try and sort a passport, would rather leave him alone at home Confused
Agreed. Her attitude her is awful. I feel so sorry for her poor son.

How anyone could leave their own child behind after their own fuck up while they went off on holiday is beyond me.

YukoandHiro · 17/10/2021 14:22

I'm afraid I'm finding this thread absolutely baffling. If he was 17, I would get it. 15 is so young. What if something falls through? What if a family gets covid and has to isolate so can't accept him? Who is responsible for him legally if something happens eg he breaks a leg and needs surgery (someone has to sign that paperwork) or he gets appendicitis?

It's your decision OP, but it does seem dangerously risky.

YukoandHiro · 17/10/2021 14:24

Postponing the holiday would seem by the far the best decision, even if it costs you a little

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:26

We talk about developing resilience in children.

If as a parent you think your teenager is in a position to make a decision in a less than ideal situation which turns out to be a win-win for both parties, would you not let your child make that decision and then do all you can to compensate for your mistake to facilitate the child's decision and keep him safe. Or would you override their decision and cancel a family holiday because of a mistake, even if that is not what ds wants.

I would have thought this is a learning moment of how grown ups mess up but don't go to pieces (I am, somewhat) or overreact and instead work through all options and find a solution whilst, less than ideal, works.

That is life, right? Children have super-big adult decisions imposed on them with no say, whether in terms of moving countries, or divorce or schools or even holidays they may not want to go on. Allowing my ds to decide an alternative to an 8 day family holiday because he cannot come is to me just a drop in the ocean. I expected to get some stick for this but not the sandstorm this has churned up. I am clearly minimising.

OP posts:
friendlycat · 17/10/2021 14:27

OP I have sympathy with your predicament but I can’t help but think that if he is to stay he really does need to be in one place with one friend or maximum two splitting the duration in half.

Surely today is the day that you approach two sets of parents about this situation and see whether they are receptive to hosting your son.

Doing a chart with him designating which 7 or 8 friends he thinks he’s going to stay at on which night really is not the correct way of making sure your 15 year old son is adequately covered for the period of time you will be on holiday.

I’ve thought you were being harshly judged on here but some of your comments and approach to this seem rather off kilter with sorting this out in a sensible and safe way. You are placing too much emphasis on him sorting out the arrangements rather than you taking the bull by the horns and sitting down with two families and making a plan of action.

wewereliars · 17/10/2021 14:29

The issue really is NOT that the son is 15, though that does make things worse.

The point is that a familyholiday was booked, and now because of an oversight, one member of the family cannot go.

The fact that some teenagers want to be away from their parents and will enjoy it is not the point. That is not what has happened. In this situation a decent parent would not even consider going without the son. How the parents could even enjoy it is beyond me.

Lightswitch123 · 17/10/2021 14:31

From the way you are talking about "7 sleepovers" it doesn't even sound like the other families will know you're not even in the country!

I'd be absolutely shocked by your behaviour - You are 100% unvaliable if there was an issue.

It's a massive ask. It is not "a sleepover".

Beginning to think this is a fake thread your attitude to your DS is so weird.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:32

I’ve thought you were being harshly judged on here but some of your comments and approach to this seem rather off kilter with sorting this out in a sensible and safe way. You are placing too much emphasis on him sorting out the arrangements rather than you taking the bull by the horns and sitting down with two families and making a plan of action.

Agreed, there is a plan of action. There is little point talking to parents until I have been to the passport office tomorrow as there is still a 0.01% chance we could renew ds' passport in time. Will do so, as well as reduce the number of houses ds will be in.

OP posts:
Lightswitch123 · 17/10/2021 14:33

I think you have it entirely backwards

It's not that HE cannot come. It's that YOU cannot go.

Sort the passport out or stay home. Stop trying to justify the unjustifiable.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:34

From the way you are talking about "7 sleepovers" it doesn't even sound like the other families will know you're not even in the country!

We will tell the parents everything and they are free to refuse at that point. We have quite a few takers from the boys and flex. They are pre-checking with their parents first but of course we cannot trust the boys and the arrangements sealed parent-to-parent with emergency numbers and back ups.

OP posts:
Stomacharmeleon · 17/10/2021 14:36

Hey op...

I think you are getting such a hard time. You are NOT a bad parent and you know your own son. I have three of them and regularly leave them at home- I am second week of half term for four nights!

DS number one and number three are both sensible. Number two is not and they keep him in check. I ring regularly and leave them with money, emergency funds and a fridge full of food

If I forced them to come away no one would enjoy themselves..... and sometimes I just need a break.

My youngest is 17. I kept reminding myself I will happily be packing him off to uni next year and yet I felt I needed to be ever present when he was at home. Or that I had to stay put..... it's not realistic nor does it prepare them for adult life.

Have fun.... and try and switch off and enjoy.

Pottedpalm · 17/10/2021 14:38

@Lightswitch123

Basically, what clmes accross loud and clear is OP is largely indifferent to her DS. Can't be bothered to try and sort a passport, would rather leave him alone at home Confused
Oh do trot on!
berlinbabylon · 17/10/2021 14:40

Rather than piling onto the OP, posters should be annoyed that although we pay for a 10 year passport it's only valid for 9.5 years. It is utterly ridiculous, you should be able to travel on it until it expires. If countries are worried about you staying beyond your passport expiry date they can remind you on entry. I don't see a problem with eg saying you need two weeks but six months? I know the OP said three months but UK government advice is 6 months.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:40

Stom, thanks for the support.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a parallel universe that only has cottonwool kids. Children are different. We know our dcs. We also know our limitations as parents and mess up and desperately need a holiday because we are burnt out at work and need a way to carry on earning the money that keeps the family going. If ds is happy and cared for with friends, there isn't a great need to upset the applecart just to prove I wear the hairshirt for my mistakes (terrible mixing of metaphors).

OP posts:
wewereliars · 17/10/2021 14:41

She IS a selfish and irresponsible parent though. And to put any of the decision making on the son here is dreadful.

Of course your son is going to agree it's going to be great, he will not want to see your behavior for the selfishness it is, so he will accept whatever spin you're putting on it. For now anyway.