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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

828 replies

blueshoes · 16/10/2021 21:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? Sad We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

OP posts:
friendlycat · 17/10/2021 14:43

I’m beginning to think this is a wind up now!

wewereliars · 17/10/2021 14:45

"if DS is happy and cared for with friends" or more accurately

" if I can get any old randoms I have never met to say they will take my son off my hands, so I can enjoy my lovely hoilday that my fuck up means he can't go on"

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:45

@wewereliars

She IS a selfish and irresponsible parent though. And to put any of the decision making on the son here is dreadful.

Of course your son is going to agree it's going to be great, he will not want to see your behavior for the selfishness it is, so he will accept whatever spin you're putting on it. For now anyway.

I know, "just you wait" ...
OP posts:
2lsinllama · 17/10/2021 14:45

@friendlycat

I’m beginning to think this is a wind up now!
I thought that at about 1am to be honest!
Europilgrim · 17/10/2021 14:45

Some awful comments on here. It is pretty obvious that some posters 1) don't have teenagers and 2) are smugly convinced that they are absolutely perfect.

BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 14:46

I'd leave it now OP you have made your decision, got your answers and are going to do what you want to anyway. Not sure why you asked.
90% think YABU.

10% agree. Smile

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 14:48

Thank you, 10% holiday club Grin

OP posts:
wewereliars · 17/10/2021 14:52

I hope it is a wind up

SpicyTomatos · 17/10/2021 14:54

Are the 90% concerned about the emotional well being of the son (something they're not really well placed to assess) or that a 15 year old isn't capable of spending a week with friends?

Kendodd · 17/10/2021 14:56

@spottytop

Havanananana If you read my post that's not what I said. I am well aware that difference countries have different rules, all I said was you needed a valid Passport. The poster I was responding to was suggesting that pre-Brexit you could travel to EU countries with an ID card - you couldn't - you could only fly within the UK.

And if you had read my post properly spottytop you will see I said nothing of the sort. I said EU citizens don't even need a passport to travel between EU countries if they have a national ID card that we don't have. How is that suggesting UK citizens didn't need a passport for EU travel? Oh, and I said nothing about passport office delays.

Ironmanrocks · 17/10/2021 14:57

Get online with the appointment page up, there a very few to book at the moment. We were online when one such app popped up - someone must have cancelled or not completed. So we are ok and have an app next week. No fast track in a day for children's renewal. But you have to have an app or there's no point. Other than that change your holiday to Easter. Good luck. X

BillieSpain · 17/10/2021 14:59

I think there are many more concerns than that. I think they've been covered, if you have a little read.

Polkadots2021 · 17/10/2021 15:00

@blueshoes

We talk about developing resilience in children.

If as a parent you think your teenager is in a position to make a decision in a less than ideal situation which turns out to be a win-win for both parties, would you not let your child make that decision and then do all you can to compensate for your mistake to facilitate the child's decision and keep him safe. Or would you override their decision and cancel a family holiday because of a mistake, even if that is not what ds wants.

I would have thought this is a learning moment of how grown ups mess up but don't go to pieces (I am, somewhat) or overreact and instead work through all options and find a solution whilst, less than ideal, works.

That is life, right? Children have super-big adult decisions imposed on them with no say, whether in terms of moving countries, or divorce or schools or even holidays they may not want to go on. Allowing my ds to decide an alternative to an 8 day family holiday because he cannot come is to me just a drop in the ocean. I expected to get some stick for this but not the sandstorm this has churned up. I am clearly minimising.

Nice try OP Grin as a sports coach we focus on developing resilience in a lot of ways and sure - it's very important. Leaving your kid behind while you go on holiday without him has nothing to do with resilience though, it's just an excuse to not miss your holiday. Just be honest!
Kendodd · 17/10/2021 15:00

And we DID NOT need 3/6 months extra on our passports as EU citizens going to EU countries pre Brexit. It's like fucking 1984 with all the people trying to rewrite history.

celan · 17/10/2021 15:02

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Bigeggsinapackoften · 17/10/2021 15:04

My parents did similar to this when I was 14. I was left behind because reasons. I don’t even know why.

I never forgave them for it tbh.

Upsky · 17/10/2021 15:05

@blueshoes

The party house thing is a concern but I don't think ds realises that yet. His gang of friends do not do house parties yet, just activities and going to movies, so I don't think it has occurred to him to host a party.

It is a good idea however for me to warn him not to. He is quite social media savvy and will know the dangers of putting out open invites on facebook or equivalent (he says he does not use facebook, that is apparently for 'boomers'). I doubt he would want his tidy bedroom to be thrashed either by a bunch of strangers.

It happened to me. This was when I was 15 in the 70s and my parents swanned off to Spain without me. I was left at home, which I was perfectly capable of managing. Except word got out at school and while I didn't host a party I had a lot of unwelcome visitors who I couldn't get rid of.
ancientgran · 17/10/2021 15:12

@blueshoes

If ds saw it as 'making him pay for our mistakes', then we would not have left him. He was consulted and now prefers to be with his mates.

It will be planned. Will try to get it right this time. I have printed out a timetable for ds for each day to fill in with which mate so that I can contact the parents accordingly and leave emergency numbers and money. We will facetime and whatsapp him everyday. I will make sure he packs enough underwear, warm comfy clothes and bring his protein powder, battery pack, Oyster/student card. He won't forget his phone since he is surgically glued to it.

If he prefers to stay with his mates why are you going to the passport office tomorrow? Doesn't really add up.

I've gone on holidays and teenage kids have decided not to come, stayed with grandparents, but I don't think that is the same as a holiday everyone has been looking forward to and then one gets left out. Sorry but that is how it feels to me.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 15:15

polkadots great you are a sports coach. That is one take on how to develop resilience but not the monopoly.

I am honest. We do not want to miss the family holiday where there is an alternative that is agreeable to ds for his arrangements. As a parent I judge ds to be capable of making his own decisions in this less-than-ideal situation and having those decisions respected and facilitated.

OP posts:
Dorigen · 17/10/2021 15:15

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JustDanceAddict · 17/10/2021 15:17

This is strange as when you book a flight they prompt you to put in the passenger details include passport. This is when we realised DS’s would expire, but there was time and you could change the details prior to boarding (this was 6 months ago w easyJet although the holiday didn’t happen in the end).
I certainly would be doing all I could to ensure my child could come in this circumstance / trying to renew, call airline/authorities etc. Then and only then I’d ask him what he wanted to do about cancelling or staying at home.
I have older teens too and no way are they ready to be home alone at 15 - even going to friends’ - it’s still a responsibility to sort - and you’re still legally responsible for anything happening.

lunar1 · 17/10/2021 15:17

How are you going to enjoy a holiday wondering if your son has got to the next house every day. I've never heard of such an irresponsible plan for leaving your child behind.

It would take the tiniest miscommunication for your ds to be missing/injured and nobody to notice.

As a basic level of parenting could you not arrange one place for him to stay where someone is looking out for him. What if one of your 7 houses gets Covid, or your DS dies?

MissNothing1991 · 17/10/2021 15:17

If i knew you personally, quite frankly I'd be ringing social services for their opinion.

Doodar · 17/10/2021 15:18

Seriously don’t see all the fuss. The op has made a mistake, why should she lose the holiday if her son is happy to stay home?
Enjoy your rest op x

lunar1 · 17/10/2021 15:18

Does, not dies!!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

What a fucking typo.

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