Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

[blueshoes]

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

When I was 16 I said I’d prefer not to go on holiday with my parents because I wanted to go out with my friends. It was fine. You know your own children and like you say, your daughter might be upset but your son is happy. He will have a great week with his friends if you don’t get the passport in time. Ignore the nasty remarks, some people have weird family dynamics and treat their children like permanent toddlers.

What do you mean by ds would be stranded ? Are you saying you’d still all board the plane anyway and leave him stranded at the airport?

I did not complete the sentence properly. If ds could not board, we would have no choice at that point as one or all of us would have to not board the plane so as to not leave ds stranded because we could not leave ds alone in the airport - that is my redline, finally I have limits.

Therefore, it is a risky strategy to chance ds getting on board without a proper passport. He could be turned away at the airport by Ryanair or even if he were allowed to go on board, worse still, turned away at Greece immigration. One parent or the whole family then has to abandon trip and turn back.

Hence, accepting the reality, we put in place alternatives which don't involve him coming with us to the airport, being emergency passport (unlikely but going to try on Monday) or, if that fails, putting him up with various friends on each night, pre-arranged with their parents.

It is totally within the parents' right to refuse, whether as a reflection of my parenting or covid concerns. I will leave the parents with emergency numbers of ds' relatives and ours in Crete and provide ds with spending money to see him through (without imposing on the parents cost-wise). The reference to ds buying shoes was not to bribe him, just a reality of what ds is most likely to do with the spends.

I am of course hoping for the best, and with mnetters help, planning for the worst.

Dh just checked with ds again today. He has not got cold feet and seems more looking to forward to a week with friends. He is waiting for 2 more of his friends to revert.

randomLonder

The oOp is travelling to Greece, not Turkey

[quote Standingstilll]@BillieSpain

She has, it is a role in addition to her main role in school. It is a boarding school so she seems fairly up on when children can travel into town solo, be left solo etc etc. Be released on weekends.

That will be school policies which has no bearing on what Is going on here.

[/quote]
No, she has had years of gvt training, it is a school with boarders and day puplls. she previously worked in Tower Hamlets, I will not give examples of what happened to some pupils at this school.
I am not justifying myself any more.

I certainly won't leave DD while I am in hospital.
That is my opinion and I joined the thread as it is relevant to me and I gave my opinion as was asked.
You stick to yours and I'll follow the advice I have been given.

Have a good Sunday.

OP must follow the 10% who agree with her and ignore the 90% who don't.

He may be planning to use your home as party central op, as others have already said.

If he does that, and puts it on social media, or one of his mates does, you may not have much of a house to come back to.

Please can you explain what difference Brexit had made to our ability to travel to Turkey?

No

OP is not travelling to Turkey.

I don’t think I treat my teenagers like toddlers or have a weird family dynamic because I wouldn’t leave my 15 yr old to stay at a succession of friends houses with parents I did not know at all whilst we went abroad on a holiday that he was supposed to be on but couldn’t because of our error.

I’m not blaming the OP for missing the passport date at all - I’d totally do that, I just found the leap to we’ll all still go and leave him and he’ll stay with various friends who I don’t know a bit odd.

I also think that becoming independent is a process, a 15 yr old isn’t the same as an 18 yr old just as a 12 yr old isn’t the same as a 15 yr old. I have a 15 yr old, consider myself fairly relaxed and he’s pretty independent but I wouldn’t do that and none of my friends would so that’s why I commented but yep - different strokes for different folks and all that and I agree it’s not illegal or would be considered neglect. I hope you get it sorted and he can go with you.

@Glintwithpersperation

Jesus Christ there are fucking neurotic people on here. Absolute loons. I think that when you have 3 teen / adult children, you realise that your children are human beings capable of independent thought. Some of the comments are insane and I bet these helicopter parents gripped by anxiety are the sort of people who end up having children desperate to break the control, go no contact or completely off the rails with massive drug problems.

Have a great holiday OP and 🤞🤞🤞 for tomorrow.

I'm definitely not gripped by anxiety. However I wouldn't book a holiday for 4 of us and then leave one behind because I couldn't be arsed to check everything was in order. That's a really shitty way to treat someone you're supposed to care about.

I can't help but feel that OP is having us all on here, it's beyond a joke really. Still, let's hope she has a fab holiday and her DS has a great time using the house as a party house for the week.

I feel I have to respond to comments who say that I or dh could not be arsed to check passports.

It was an oversight on the basis we assumed we had enough time to run on the passports. At the back of my mind, I knew it was an issue (erm, Brexit) but was focused on booking the holiday and researching the ever changing covid rules of UK/Greece and dropped the ball on passports because it always seemed like we only just recently renewed passports. I must have lost track of time and should not have been so cavalier about dates.

I am a huge planner so kicking myself over this. Amateur really.

However I wouldn't book a holiday for 4 of us and then leave one behind because I couldn't be arsed to check everything was in order.

"couldn't be arsed" , yeah but doesn't really sum the situation does it?

Not really.

I am a huge planner so kicking myself over this. Amateur really.

God OP. We all make mistakes.

The party house thing is a concern but I don't think ds realises that yet. His gang of friends do not do house parties yet, just activities and going to movies, so I don't think it has occurred to him to host a party.

It is a good idea however for me to warn him not to. He is quite social media savvy and will know the dangers of putting out open invites on facebook or equivalent (he says he does not use facebook, that is apparently for 'boomers'). I doubt he would want his tidy bedroom to be thrashed either by a bunch of strangers.

@sunglassesonthetable

However I wouldn't book a holiday for 4 of us and then leave one behind because I couldn't be arsed to check everything was in order.

"couldn't be arsed" , yeah but doesn't really sum the situation does it?

Not really.

Yeah I think it does. Each to their own

Yeah I think it does. Each to their own

The posters that never make mistakes.

Thanks, sunglasses.

Life is so full on sometimes and the rate of change in recent times has been monumental, as with both dcs coming up to the GCSE and A-Level/uni years. Just non-stop at home and at work. First world problems, I know. I am not complaining. Sadly, ds was the fallout.

God I'm a relaxed parent but I'm reading this in horror.

No way would I enjoy a holiday in this situation. As a safeguarding officer at school, I would want this reported to me too.

@sunglassesonthetable

Yeah I think it does. Each to their own

The posters that never make mistakes.

There's making a mistake, then making others pay for it. If I'd made this mistake then we'd move the holiday and take the financial hit. She hasn't tried that unless I've missed it on a previous post. The original post said straightaway that he'd be left behind. As I said, a shitty way to treat someone but at least OP gets her holiday.

My parents went away a lot when I was a similar age. It was my choice as I found their holidays very boring and was happy to stay at home.

The only real problem is what you have experienced here - everyone constantly telling me how bad my parents were and how they would never do it. The other problem, particularly if the child is at home, is "friends" deciding you should host a party.

In the end I found not telling anyone at all my parents were away to be the easiest solution by far. No condescending parents and no wild kids at the door.

In your case, I guess you need to make sure there is no way the parties can happen I.e. your son doesn't go home at all. You will also have to take on the chin all the comments about your parenting.

Neither my parents or I have any regrets.

The thing is Spurs4ever not everyone can "take the financial hit" as you put it. Some people are in a different financial situation to you.

It depends entirely on your son's personality. He might be happy to stay at home or with friends.

We went to Crete in August, and my son came down with COVID about 3 weeks before. He was just 16. Very mild symptoms, we only got him tested a week later so his official quarantine started then and we left him at home.
We changed my daughter's flight dates so DH and I want on the holiday as normal, and then DD came to join us 4 days later. We hired a car and picked her up at Rhodes airport. This meant DS only had 3 days at home alone as I flew home as normal on day 7. DD and DH then prolonged the holiday a bit (hotel was delighted to have us for more nights) so DD got a whole week.

You could get the passport to come back, let him stay with friends for a short time and get someone to drive him to the airport when the passport arrives. 15 is big enough to travel by himself. Just a suggestion.

The thing is OP, your plan to farm your son out to 7 people or whatever means that a LOT of people are going to know that house is empty.

Teenagers talk to each other you know.

@Lilifer

The thing is Spurs4ever not everyone can "take the financial hit" as you put it. Some people are in a different financial situation to you.

Oh really? I think OP could manage it, especially if she's leaving "spends" that she understands will go on trainers and games. And if I couldn't take the financial hit then I'd lose the holiday. Still wouldn't leave one of the family behind. Everyone's different though, clearly.

If ds saw it as 'making him pay for our mistakes', then we would not have left him. He was consulted and now prefers to be with his mates.

It will be planned. Will try to get it right this time. I have printed out a timetable for ds for each day to fill in with which mate so that I can contact the parents accordingly and leave emergency numbers and money. We will facetime and whatsapp him everyday. I will make sure he packs enough underwear, warm comfy clothes and bring his protein powder, battery pack, Oyster/student card. He won't forget his phone since he is surgically glued to it.

@sunglassesonthetable

And where on earth did you get “squealing” from? Such a bizarre turn of phrase.

really? In your book? 😁

Fancy that, everyone using 'different' words.

Couldn't make it up.

Oh the horror to use such a strange turn of phrase!😱😂😂😂