Page 12 | Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

blueshoes · 2021-10-16T20:00:46+00:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck. The [[https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/greece/entry-requirements government website]] says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country. We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week. Ds cannot come with us, can he? [sad] We f___ked up. Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

Newnewnew1179 · 17/10/2021 00:53

I don’t think it’s about what your DS says he wants -it’s about you not going on a holiday he was supposed to be on without him and leaving him on his own for a week.
It’s a decision for you as his parents and not him.

Original poster

blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:57

Also, if I was one of the kids parents and you got in contact with me asking for me to put your son up for x amount of time because you're away on a family holiday without him id be judging you massively.

No more than I am being judged now, so I guess I will just lump it. They can always say no. At this age, it is not so much parent-to-parent as son-to-parent. My son's friends would be asking their parents for ds to come over and the parents, if they agree, get in touch for logistics. Dcs are mostly independent and don't require much looking after. I speak in the position of the parent if my ds brings a friend home for a sleepover. They usually order a pizza.

OP posts:

Namechangedforthethousandthtim · 17/10/2021 00:58

You can renew a passport in a couple of days if you use the correct service. Just phone the passpoft office. It's not that hard.

Agree that you can't go on holiday without your child! That would be awful! Either you all go, or none of you do, surely.

TonytheDog · 17/10/2021 01:00

blueshoes my point is: you sound like the sort of parent who solves everything with money. The 'sacrifice' you mention is what every parent does. That's the job. Parenting involves emotional 'sacrifice' too and emotional investment. Your DS is a human being with feelings, there are only so many pairs of trainers, new X-box games and accessories to be had before your child realised that you pay for his 'happiness' rather than spending time with him to emotionally invest your time - rather than your money.
The solution to me is simple: you all go or none of you go. You're obviously rather wealthy so just cancel and go another time. It's not the end of the world to not go on holiday. Especially if it sacrifices a future relationship with your son.

Original poster

blueshoes · 17/10/2021 01:02

So don't cancel it entirely. One parent goes with the other DC (the only other person not at fault here), and the other stays home with DS so he doesn't have to spend a week couch-surfing with questionable supervision. Then you can take DS on a make-up vacation later. Of course, then you yourself might not get to go, which seems to be a bigger problem in your mind.

We did think about that one parent stay behind with him. He prefers his friends. He won't be so happy to be at home with one parent. He's got his own interests. Will ask him again tomorrow once he has had a chance to sleep over it. Today has been very unsettling and clearer heads will prevail tomorrow.

Nighty night. Appreciate everyone's input. It has made me think more.

OP posts:

Hotpinkangel19 · 17/10/2021 01:02

This can't be real... it's really shitty OP! I have a 15, 13, 10 and 3 year old, and if one of my children couldn't go on our family holiday then none of us would be going!!!! You just don't do that! As a mother I couldn't do it knowing I'd messed up and my child was taking the hit!

sillysmiles · 17/10/2021 01:08

@blueshoes there's no point in panicking until you've been to the passport office on Monday and see what they say.

If there was a family member that could stay in your house and be his point of contact even if he was staying at friends house?
But if he's not planning on going back to your house during the week that might be a bit of a waste of time for them.

FinallyFluid · 17/10/2021 01:09

I am aware I sound like a stuck record....your attitude is STILL Vile

maddening · 17/10/2021 01:16

Passport office in person should be able to get it in time?

pamplemoussed · 17/10/2021 01:27

We once noticed, 40 hours before a holiday that a passport for one of our dc had expired. We went in person to the passport office and made the flight. It was a hell of a struggle and stressful, but you have time .

Cameleongirl · 17/10/2021 01:33

@pamplemoussed

We once noticed, 40 hours before a holiday that a passport for one of our dc had expired. We went in person to the passport office and made the flight. It was a hell of a struggle and stressful, but you have time .

Same, @pamplemoussed. I'd noticed several months earlier that DS's passport was expiring the following summer...but completely forgot to send it in. I realised a few days before our trip, we did an in--person appointment and made our 9:00 P.M. flight.

I'll never make that mistake again, but we're human.

SimonedeBeauvoirscat · 17/10/2021 01:55

So is the older kid going?

starrynight21 · 17/10/2021 02:01

@blueshoes

So don't cancel it entirely. One parent goes with the other DC (the only other person not at fault here), and the other stays home with DS so he doesn't have to spend a week couch-surfing with questionable supervision. Then you can take DS on a make-up vacation later. Of course, then you yourself might not get to go, which seems to be a bigger problem in your mind.

We did think about that one parent stay behind with him. He prefers his friends. He won't be so happy to be at home with one parent. He's got his own interests. Will ask him again tomorrow once he has had a chance to sleep over it. Today has been very unsettling and clearer heads will prevail tomorrow.

Nighty night. Appreciate everyone's input. It has made me think more.

I'll flow against the tide here and say that at 15 he is quite able to make a decision about this. If he is happy to stay with a friend I'd be fine with that. I've had teenagers staying for long periods during school holidays and you hardly notice that they are there - I'm sure that the other boy's parents will be OK with it too. Good luck !

Autumnscene · 17/10/2021 02:43

My son had this problem too before a school trip. He went to Peterborough Passport Office in person, they renewed it there and then.

Ginandplatonic · 17/10/2021 02:52

MN is such a weird place sometimes. A parent trusting their 15 yo to know his own mind and choose to spend a week with friends (with family back up) occasions hyperbolic insults, but the second they turn 18 they are “adults” and should be given no further support or house room.

OP knows her own teen, and knows if he’s genuinely ok with this. Some of my kids would be, some wouldn’t and I would act accordingly; if one of their friends was in this situation I’d be perfectly happy with them staying. She doesn’t sound like a bad, neglectful parent to me, and she’s dealt with the rude and repetitive comments with moderation and politeness. Good luck whatever you decide OP.

Eealoty · 17/10/2021 02:52

You can get an emergency renewal passport in a week. It's been the rule for years re 3 weeks left when travelling. Fast track passport renewals are also not new at all. Not understanding the big dilemma here.

PurpleOkapi · 17/10/2021 02:59

I'd give OP the benefit of the doubt if she were leaving DS with people she actually knew. But a week is too long to leave a 15-year-old on this kind of crazy rotating schedule of supervision by people you barely know or have never met. Even supposing all those friends' parents are responsible and have good intentions, if DS doesn't show up as scheduled and their own child tells them "Oh, he decided he'd rather go to his uncle's," how likely is that parent to follow up with anyone about this?

DS may well be sincere in wanting this, but you might as well just leave him home alone for a week and let him visit friends (or not) as he pleases. If you wouldn't do that because too many things can go wrong for even a responsible child, then you shouldn't do this.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 17/10/2021 03:05

Can’t believe you wouldn’t just stay home or pay and move it to the next half term etc. I’d judge harshly if I was one of the parents expected to provide care because you wanted a holiday at any cost,

SherryPalmer · 17/10/2021 03:22

At 15 I really wouldn’t have given a shit.

I’d be more worried about house parties and would consider getting a ring camera or asking a relative to house sit (the latter means your ds has the option of going home if his arrangements fall through).

PumpkinsandTea · 17/10/2021 03:48

[quote Workinghardeveryday]@PumpkinsandTea
I totally understand, I came home from school at 12 with a note on the fridge to say they had gone on holiday for 12 weeks!! I told my Form Teacher but he didn’t believe me.

My mum has also denied all knowledge then sometimes says there was plenty of food in the freezer.

@blueshoes do not underestimate how your son will never forget you fucked off on holiday without him, a holiday he also wanted to go on and because you fucked up sorting his pp out he couldn’t go. Nice[/quote]
WHOA!!! I'm so sorry. So what did you do?? Surely you didn't stay on your own? For 12 weeks????

HoppingPavlova · 17/10/2021 05:20

Sorry but I don’t think you are reading the situation with other parents through the correct lens, but through a rose-tinted one so you can feel better.

DS’s friends to their parents ‘X’s parents are going overseas without him and he needs somewhere to stay. He’s looking around for people who can have him. Can he stay here for a few days?’

The other parents will likely have their jaws on the floor for all sorts of reasons. Firstly they will think the parents fucking off and the kid having to arrange their own supervision and responsible adults (as he does need that no matter how mature he may be), is a piss poor show on his parents behalf. With the environment as it is due to Covid they will also think it’s a huge piss-take. However, they will feel backed into a corner with the alternative being the potential of a teenage boy without accomodation, care or supervision. So they will definitely say yes. Feeling forced to say yes and wanting to say yes are two different things though.

Stopsnowing · 17/10/2021 05:35

I don’t understand why people need three months (or in some cases six months) on their passports after returning? How does it reassure the country you are visiting? Are they worried about overstayers? Does it apply to children? Who won’t overstay if their family is flying home? Can you go to the Greek embassy to get some special dispensation? Would it be any easier to get an emergency U.K. passport in Greece once you are there?

daisy46 · 17/10/2021 05:52

OP, you're getting a really hard time about this, but handing it well. I'm sure your 15yo son is happy to stay home and those posters who have younger kids don't understand it yet.

Go see about the emergency passport on Monday. Hopefully it works out. If not, I'd probably arrange for him to stay with 2 or 3 friends (not a different one every night -- more because that's a logistical hassle rather than because of Covid fears) over the course of the week and enjoy your vacation.

Cherryana · 17/10/2021 06:00

I got an express one and went to London it was straight forward.

But also, contrary to other posters, I would leave my son at home/with grandparents. I don’t think a week in Oct half term is that big a deal.

PurpleOkapi · 17/10/2021 06:08

@HoppingPavlova

Sorry but I don’t think you are reading the situation with other parents through the correct lens, but through a rose-tinted one so you can feel better.

DS’s friends to their parents ‘X’s parents are going overseas without him and he needs somewhere to stay. He’s looking around for people who can have him. Can he stay here for a few days?’

The other parents will likely have their jaws on the floor for all sorts of reasons. Firstly they will think the parents fucking off and the kid having to arrange their own supervision and responsible adults (as he does need that no matter how mature he may be), is a piss poor show on his parents behalf. With the environment as it is due to Covid they will also think it’s a huge piss-take. However, they will feel backed into a corner with the alternative being the potential of a teenage boy without accomodation, care or supervision. So they will definitely say yes. Feeling forced to say yes and wanting to say yes are two different things though.

This. I would absolutely agree to host a teen in this situation, not because I really wanted to, but because I'd be genuinely worried about what the fuckwitted parents who created this situation and then left him to sort it out himself would do to the poor kid if no non-fuckwits stepped up to do their jobs for them. Fairly or not, I'd perceive as the parent using their child's well-being to effectively blackmail into caring for that child, gambling (correctly) that I'd care more about their child than they do.