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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

828 replies

blueshoes · 16/10/2021 21:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? Sad We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 17/10/2021 06:15

@DumpedByText

I renewed my 14 year olds online and it arrived 3 days later. Depends if you want to risk it though.
Wheres the risk? At the moment they can't go as his passport won't be valid. If they try to renew it and it doesn't arrive in time, they can't go. So no difference
Monkeytapper · 17/10/2021 06:19

Would you honestly be able to relax and enjoy your holiday though?

JapanJetplane · 17/10/2021 06:40

This is one of those threads where the OP has the absolute cheek to be a bit calm and sensible, forcing the posters who want to see her browbeaten and embarrassed to get ever more hysterical in their attempts to shame her.

I’m real life, there’s absolutely no reason why a sensible 15yo can’t stay with friends for a week. And if someone asked me to spend a week looking after their 15yo because of a screw up with his passport I would be fine with it, and no I wouldn’t judge. I might even take him to hospital if he broke his leg Wink

justmaybenot · 17/10/2021 06:43

@Ginandplatonic

MN is such a weird place sometimes. A parent trusting their 15 yo to know his own mind and choose to spend a week with friends (with family back up) occasions hyperbolic insults, but the second they turn 18 they are “adults” and should be given no further support or house room.

OP knows her own teen, and knows if he’s genuinely ok with this. Some of my kids would be, some wouldn’t and I would act accordingly; if one of their friends was in this situation I’d be perfectly happy with them staying. She doesn’t sound like a bad, neglectful parent to me, and she’s dealt with the rude and repetitive comments with moderation and politeness. Good luck whatever you decide OP.

Agree - MN is crazy sometimes, saying 18 year olds are adults and should manage massive life issues and have no involvement from parents in even difficult things - such as relationships with others who are still in school - and yet the OP who knows her dc best is completely attacked for what was a minor, understandable, human mistake.
Pinkychilla · 17/10/2021 06:45

Can't believe what a hard time your having on here and how rude people are being to you! Everyone makes mistakes now and then, all the 15 Yr old boys I know would much rather stay with friends than go on holiday with parents! These people are basing it on their younger kids or their 15yrs olds and everyone is different, you know your son and family and what works for you. Also thanks for the reminder I must check out passports now!

SpeakingFranglais · 17/10/2021 06:47

Two observations here, neither are useful.

One, your son will probably stay at home when you’ve gone, and all his mates will be with him, not the other way round.

& two, there will be tonnes more holidays, they don’t all stop coming on freebies when they turn 18 and go to uni.

Guetzlibache · 17/10/2021 06:53

Here we have another happy Brexit experience.dont you just love being in control of your borders.

DrManhattan · 17/10/2021 06:53

The op is getting a hard time, not because of the mistake with the passport but because of the heartless attitude. Seriously who can go on holiday and enjoy it when their kid is sofa surfing. It's really sad. I hope the op is a troll and it's all made up. Daily Fail fodder is this ....

spurs4ever · 17/10/2021 07:02

@blueshoes

We realistically are not going to find an alternative vacation, which will have to be a staycation, in less than a week over the October half term that we would want to go or which is not extortionate in price.

The alternative will end up being the whole family stays at home over that week 22-30 Oct. Our dcs' half term is from 18-29 Oct so there isn't a further out date that gives us more time to plan towards.

Finally you've realised that if he doesn't get his passport that means you all stay at home. Glad you got it in the end!
mofro · 17/10/2021 07:09

We had a similar situation, sons passport had to be sent tiff to be renewed on fastrack a couple of years ago.
He was 14 so we booked him a separate flight on the day his passport came back - he missed 2 days of the holiday and it cost some £££ but he loved the independence of his first solo travel abroad! We felt awful but glad we got a solution sorted!
Good luck!

gannett · 17/10/2021 07:16

The posters castigating the OP are crazy.

15 is easily old enough to

  • be fine staying with friends for a week
  • realise that human error does not constitute rejection from the family
  • have the maturity to tell the rest of the family to enjoy the holiday
  • probably prefer having half-term with friends rather than a family holiday in any case
mrsbitaly · 17/10/2021 07:17

@Blankspace4

Why are so many people saying OP absolutely CANNOT a leave a 15 year old? He’s not 5! And clearly they wouldn’t be leaving him alone (I assume!) but with family.

Yes they’ve fucked up but mistakes do happen. OP doesn’t deserve to be crucified!

THIS

wow someone who has some decency. Looking through the thread it's like a real witch hunt how awful many of these people are. My 15 year old wouldn't be fussed about a holiday either. They made a mistake for Christ sake and we are not talking about a young child being left abandoned.

A lady asked for advice not to be treated to endless comments of how shit she is as a parent. We are supposed to provide advice and support. Not rip someone to shreds.

mrsbitaly · 17/10/2021 07:20

@blueshoes

Couch surfing is an expression. I don't believe he will actually be sleeping on a sofa. I will contact each set of parents to arrange, with back up from family (which ds does not want to stay with). He was planning to go to the gym everyday on holiday and we chose a hotel with a gym for that reason. He will instead go to his usual gym everyday and probably play xbox with his friends for the rest of the time. Xbox is something he does every staycation holiday with us as well. We bring all his xbox kit with us.

He will miss out on nice Crete meals, that's true. I suspect he won't miss the Greek salads at all.

You are being so lovely and calm answering people's negative comments. I really would have lost my shit by now reading half of this. Good on you, hope you are able to make it and have a lovely time too. I'm sure your son will have a fab time with mates too, I know my 15 year old would love this!
Westfacing · 17/10/2021 07:22

I hope you can get the passport sorted.

Nothing wrong with a 15 year old being left behind, but what is wrong is you leaving your son and his pals to organise seven 1-night stays.

I can't find the post but you said somewhere that you don't have friendships with other parents as you work, but this is the time when you could have done with some friendships with other mothers.

It's you as parents who should be one the phone to the parents of say two of your son's closest friends and asking if he can stay a few days with each of them.

I'd be a bit cross if I were one of the other parents who will be in loco parentis in your absence, and hadn't even been contacted by you.

Whatthefandango · 17/10/2021 07:23

Hi OP. I’m glad your son is fine with staying at home. I used to much prefer that at his age and skipped a couple of family holidays and had a great time not being with them! Don’t worry about judgy posters here and enjoy your holiday! Don’t beat yourself up, it’s just a mistake. Have fun

highstreetdiestreet · 17/10/2021 07:26

@Blankspace4

Why are so many people saying OP absolutely CANNOT a leave a 15 year old? He’s not 5! And clearly they wouldn’t be leaving him alone (I assume!) but with family.

Yes they’ve fucked up but mistakes do happen. OP doesn’t deserve to be crucified!

It would actually be better if he was 5, and didn't understand that his whole family are leaving him behind because they couldn't miss out on a holiday themselves.
Bigeggsinapackoften · 17/10/2021 07:26

The only thing that has occurred to me is how’s he going to trail clothes etc around with him? If he’s going from house to house every day for 7 days?

highstreetdiestreet · 17/10/2021 07:27

@Potpourri23

Imagine being an adult and thinking back to that time your parents went on holiday without you because they'd fucked up your passport renewal and they shipped you off to a friend you could visit any old time and told people with a tinkly laugh that you had chosen that option for yourself
Exactly
gannett · 17/10/2021 07:28

@Bigeggsinapackoften

The only thing that has occurred to me is how’s he going to trail clothes etc around with him? If he’s going from house to house every day for 7 days?
In a suitcase or a backpack?

You know, one of those big transportable things you can carry around which will fit a lot of clothes in?

Whataday21 · 17/10/2021 07:30

Good luck op.

user1471604848 · 17/10/2021 07:30

If it were me, I'd do the following:

  • go to passport office in person on Monday, and try to get one.
  • if not, investigate possibility of going to a different passport office, Eg in Belfast.
  • if no new passport, get your son to try to go on the holiday anyway, and risk it at the airport.If turned back in greece, then one parent to return with child.
  • I wouldn't leave him home alone. As pp said, he'll probably enjoy the first couple of days, but then get tired of it. And wouldn't be nice seeing you all come home tanned with happy holiday stories. You mentioned money isn't an object, so I'd book another holiday at Christmas - skiing or Christmas markets.
Bigeggsinapackoften · 17/10/2021 07:32

That just seems like a lot of hassle with dirty and clean clothes and his x box and all his gubbins. And moving every night. Who’s going to make sure he moves? Who’s going to organise what time responsibility for him swaps? Who’s going to make sure he goes where he’s supposed to be going to - to whatever friend he’s supposed to be at that night? What if he says no?

I know there’s suitcases and backpacks of course I do.

I suppose what I was alluding to was that he won’t bother and will go home on a daily basis and the house will be party central

RussianSpy101 · 17/10/2021 07:33

I’m baffled you’re happy for your son to buy new things but won’t loose the cost of the holiday.

This is one of the most selfish posts I’ve ever seen. Shame on you for fucking up and then leaving your son behind. I can only imagine what his friends parents will think of you.

Most places will be shut anyway. Greek resorts shut down mid October.

MiniCooperLover · 17/10/2021 07:34

Children's passports can't be done on the one day system, I only know this because I'm waiting on my sons passport to come back after putting it through the normal system. A friend recently did the one week thing and had to drive to Liverpool for their apt, I was only being offered Belfast (and live in South East).

Summerfun54321 · 17/10/2021 07:36

I literally have exactly the same story to tell but with a much younger child who definitely can’t be left. I realised ages ago but couldn’t get the passport appointment in time. Flowers I hated myself for a few days but actually have a lot going on. The distraction and stress from of a pandemic that won’t go away is really real. Be kind to yourself, we all make mistakes.