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AIBU?

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Original poster

Son's passport expiring - family hols in ruins

828 replies

blueshoes · 16/10/2021 21:00

Dh and I were looking forward to our family holiday in Crete, Greece for the October half term. We watched the covid-19/PCR situation closely not realising that my 15 year old son's passport has less than 3 months. Just found out today. This is our first foreign holiday since covid struck.

The government website says that for entry to Greece, your passport must be valid for at least 3 months after the day you plan to leave Greece, or any other Schengen country.

We leave on 30 October and my son's passport expires just short of 3 months on 22 January 2022. It is too late to renew his passport as we are leaving in less than a week.

Ds cannot come with us, can he? Sad We f_ked up.

Anybody recently travelled to Greece with Ryanair with less than 3 months left on their passport? Is it a bad idea to turn up and chance it or bite the bullet now and plan on the basis ds cannot go.

OP posts:
Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:09

So you're planning on leaving your 15 year old son with people you don't know well but are expecting them to be responsible for him whilst you are abroad on holiday?

I realise I am pretty naive. If I was hosting a friend of ds for a few days, I would treat the friend better than ds, assuming I had agreed to the arrangement in the first place, which I am totally planning to do. I feel comfortable to contact the parents whether or not I know them. We are on a parents whatsapp group but I don't know them personally. I don't feel the need to know his friends' parents face-to-face. With covid just lifted, that would have been difficult anyway. I am more interested in his friends themselves.

This is senior school. I left the whole know-the-parents thing behind in junior school as I am a working parent Blush. More evidence of bad parenting.

OP posts:
Lbnc2021 · 17/10/2021 00:12

I’d be having the party to end all parties 🍾🎉🕺🏻

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:12

When I mentioned covid your reaction was that theyve all had it and passed germs round etc. No mention of grandparents / siblings / vunerable people in the next house your son would be going to. Just as long as you get your holiday. Not buying it.

The boys are checking with their parents first. In that situation, I assume the parents will refuse and rightly so.

OP posts:
Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:14

And you believe him?! Bet the invite to his huge house party is already circulating on his social media

Ha! Glitterball

OP posts:
SallyWebsterr · 17/10/2021 00:14

If I was hosting a friend of ds for a few days, I would treat the friend better than ds

by that do you mean this child would be included in family events? because after this thread I dont think treating them better than your DS would be difficult.

GayParis · 17/10/2021 00:14

Are you even going to enjoy the holiday knowing he's at home and there's even a slight possibility he's feeling left out/excluded?

If you can honestly say you'll go away to Crete just the three of you and still have a great time then you really aren't a very good parent. And I don't say that lightly.

Esspee · 17/10/2021 00:15

My son was waiting for the taxi to take him to LA airport to come to the U.K. when he realised his passport had expired. For anyone else this would have put an end to the journey but he is like his father and has a charmed life.
After talking his way onto the plane he arrived at Glasgow airport where everyone in passport control were stunned. They had never had anyone arrive having been allowed to travel on an expired passport before.
I took him to the passport office that afternoon and again the next day when he picked up his shiny new passport.
So, if you ever find yourself in that situation do what he did and Google the international rules. Apparently it is against the law to prevent anyone from returning to their home country even if the passport is out of date.

GayParis · 17/10/2021 00:15

@SallyWebsterr

If I was hosting a friend of ds for a few days, I would treat the friend better than ds

by that do you mean this child would be included in family events? because after this thread I dont think treating them better than your DS would be difficult.

GrinGrin
balernobetty · 17/10/2021 00:15

This is senior school. I left the whole know-the-parents thing behind in junior school as I am a working parent . More evidence of bad parenting.

I'm a working parent too, of a 14 and 17 year old. Going to a sleep over where you don't know the parents well is one thing, expecting them to be responsible for your son whilst you are on holiday in a foreign country is completely different especially 7 times over

BurntO · 17/10/2021 00:15

Apply for a new passport. Fast track isn’t working for you. Apply normally and then you have a chance

saltpeter · 17/10/2021 00:17

@blueshoes

You've not answered the question. Who is going to be responsible for your fifteen year old son in your absence? What will happen if he gets ill/has an accident? What will happen if he trips and breaks his leg? Who is in charge of looking after him?

I mentioned that one of us would have to come back then. Those are important things that could go wrong. He should not be home alone, not foisted onto others in that situation. Agreed.

It's not just that situation but there needs to be someone in charge of him/his welfare while you're away. If he doesn't turn up to the first or subsequent house for example due to something happening and everyone assumes he's at one of the other six houses? Who's watching out for him in your absence? The seven parents for seven days seem like complete randoms since you say you don't even know them.
Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:18

@Esspee

My son was waiting for the taxi to take him to LA airport to come to the U.K. when he realised his passport had expired. For anyone else this would have put an end to the journey but he is like his father and has a charmed life. After talking his way onto the plane he arrived at Glasgow airport where everyone in passport control were stunned. They had never had anyone arrive having been allowed to travel on an expired passport before. I took him to the passport office that afternoon and again the next day when he picked up his shiny new passport. So, if you ever find yourself in that situation do what he did and Google the international rules. Apparently it is against the law to prevent anyone from returning to their home country even if the passport is out of date.
Great story. Sadly, my worry is not about coming home but my son getting on the flight there in the first place.
OP posts:
saltpeter · 17/10/2021 00:20

I don't understand the repeated I am working ft and I am a working parent thing. A lot of people are, but they parent their children as well. In fact, they make it their priority and still manage a working life. Fancy that.

shinynewapple21 · 17/10/2021 00:22

@SallyWebsterr

I actually think this is a piss take. There is no way in hell a parent is so blase about this situation. And that theyre shit enough to jet off without even a backwards glance. My turning point was "I dont even know the parents very well". Yet are planning on letting your teen son randomly move round them all.

When I mentioned covid your reaction was that theyve all had it and passed germs round etc. No mention of grandparents / siblings / vunerable people in the next house your son would be going to. Just as long as you get your holiday. Not buying it.

I'm starting to think the same Sally .

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:24

You are making me think about this some more.

I am naively seeing this as 7 consecutive sleepovers pre-arranged and agreed with the parents. I do arrange sleepovers and others arrange sleepovers with me for their sons even though we have no idea of each other as parents. In fact, it is almost an afterthought that another parent whatsapps me about a sleepover because it tends to be arranged between the boys themselves. One whatsapp message parent-to-parent squares it.

My son has to make his way from one friend's house to another but they all live around the same area and my son gets around by himself by bus to and from school and in the area with his friends all the time.

OP posts:
Arabelladrinkstea · 17/10/2021 00:25

Wow the hysteria on here is ridiculous - I have an only son who’s 18 yrs old - he’s travelled all over the world with me and had a great life.
Even if it was just us two and his had expired I know full well he’d push for me to go —whilst he had house parties—

Sounds like whatever the outcome everyone in your family is happy Grin Have a great holiday OP!

Denny53 · 17/10/2021 00:26

Unfortunately the passport office won’t let you through the door without an appointment. Big notices on the doors saying so

Newnewnew1179 · 17/10/2021 00:27

I’ve got a 15 year old. Can’t imagine doing this to them, CAN imagine them saying it’s ok and will just stay with mates but it wouldn’t be really.
Sorry OP I think it’s really wrong and it’s not ok to let your 15 yr old sofa surf for a week. If he does decide to have a massive party at your house (and can’t say I’d blame him if he did) and it got out of hand a 15 yr old isn’t equipped to deal with that.
I’m fairly relaxed as a parent but I can’t understand the attitude of “oops sorry we’ve messed up, you can’t come”. Are you really going to enjoy this holiday knowing he’s spending the week sofa surfing in a variety of houses with people you don’t know??? You don’t sound naïve you just sound really selfish.

Arabelladrinkstea · 17/10/2021 00:27

Totally disagree with you both!
You only need one person to be on alert / stand by for a worst case scenario.
That’s all that’s needed.
Then ds can go have a fun week knowing they have the one person on stand by?

What’s the drama?

PurpleOkapi · 17/10/2021 00:28

Lots of parents work full-time. I've never heard of any of them doing any of the things you're doing here, OP, and there are reasons for that. It's fine not to know the parents of your teenager's friends. It's not fine to rely on a revolving door of people you've never met for a week's worth of childcare because you decided you'd rather do that than miss a vacation that your child could have gone on with you had you not fucked up his passport. I really don't understand how you think any of this is ok.

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:31

Arabella thanks for not judging my parenting. His aunt, uncle and grandma can be on standby until one of us is able to come back from Greece if a situation calls for it. We have phones and can be in constant contact. Ds is quite good about communicating with us and telling us where he is. He does respond to texts in a timely fashion.

OP posts:
TonytheDog · 17/10/2021 00:31

So your solution is to throw money at your son to buy 'more clothes, trainers and accessories online'. Brilliant. I'm assuming by the use of 'more' your son wants for nothing (materially) except for parents who actually give a shit.

Babymamamama · 17/10/2021 00:35

People this has to be a windup surely? Hopefully?

Original poster
blueshoes · 17/10/2021 00:41

@TonytheDog

So your solution is to throw money at your son to buy 'more clothes, trainers and accessories online'. Brilliant. I'm assuming by the use of 'more' your son wants for nothing (materially) except for parents who actually give a shit.
I am having difficulty thinking of ds as having parents who don't give a shit. If anything, we are over-invested in him.

It is a difference of opinion with many on this thread about how big a deal this is. I cannot see how 8 days negates all the huge amount of parenting and sacrifice (I know all parents do) that has gone on up to this stage and which will continue well into their university years and beyond.

Ds has been given input into this situation and the possible solutions. He wants to stay with his friends instead of being able to come with us. He said he does not want the family to cancel their holiday over this f__k up which is not his fault. I am still hoping going to the passport office on Monday works but I just saw a poster said there is a big sign don't come in. We can only try.

OP posts:
PurpleOkapi · 17/10/2021 00:52

Ds has been given input into this situation and the possible solutions. He wants to stay with his friends instead of being able to come with us.

How did this not come up when you were planning it in the first place?

He said he does not want the family to cancel their holiday over this f__k up which is not his fault.

So don't cancel it entirely. One parent goes with the other DC (the only other person not at fault here), and the other stays home with DS so he doesn't have to spend a week couch-surfing with questionable supervision. Then you can take DS on a make-up vacation later. Of course, then you yourself might not get to go, which seems to be a bigger problem in your mind.