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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to give this woman a lift home once a month...

52 replies

WeThreeQueens · 09/12/2007 18:53

Actually, I think I probably am, but anyway...

I am a SAHM, and once a month I get to go out in the evening to my bookclub, which I LOVE (I do of course go out on other occasions too, but this is my one regular evening out which I would not miss for the world).
Anyway, I love everything about it, from getting ready to go out, to the actual meeting and chatting and eating...but what I also really like is the driving there and back ON MY OWN. I like having my music on really loud, singing along at the top of my voice. It's something I just don't really get to do in the course of my usual days / weeks etc.
Anyway, recently we had a very nice new woman join our group and it turns out she lives about 2 mins away from me... so as we were chatting, she asked me if I could give her a lift home (she'd come by train), and I of course said yes.
Now she expects a lift every month, and there is of course no reason for me not to give her one, in fact it would be stupid not to as I literally have to drive past her house...BUT.... I am really beginning to resent her taking my "me-drive-time" away, which feels so pathetic and petty
It's got to the point where I'm hoping she won't be able to make it to a meeting.
Am I just a horrible person? It's certainly not very festive is it?
Oh, I abu, I know it....but what can I do? [pathetic anguished wail]

OP posts:
BahHunkerBug · 09/12/2007 18:54

Take her home, then go and sit in the car and have a sing-song. Then go home.

KbearingGiftsWeTraverseAfar · 09/12/2007 18:55

stick a CD in and do harmonies on the way home!

themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 09/12/2007 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manchita · 09/12/2007 18:56

I like Bah's idea, drop her off then go around the block a few times

YuleLoveHekateAtSolstice · 09/12/2007 18:57

Drop her home and then go for a drive before going home yourself?

Tell her you can't give her a lift as you are going straight from the meeting to visit your old Auntie and will be a while.

Take her home as normal but fart all the way and don't open the windows. She'll never get in a car with you again.

NineUnlovelyTinselDecorations · 09/12/2007 18:57

Carry on singing when she's in the car. She'll soon find her own way there and back.

pukkapatch · 09/12/2007 19:04

yabu

pukkapatch · 09/12/2007 19:05

how far is it? ask her for petrol money

Mincepiedermama · 09/12/2007 19:06

I think it's absoultely fine to want to enjoy your own company now and again and God knows it's a rare thing when you have got kids.

WigWamBam · 09/12/2007 19:06

It's once a month, you miserable bugger!

And perhaps she would enjoy singing along at the top of her voice, too ...

DoubleBluff · 09/12/2007 19:08

I think you are being a bit mean. You might end up becoming good friends, and you can't have too many of those.

jinglebells2shoessmells · 09/12/2007 19:18

yabu but i can understand why.

chopchopbusybusy · 09/12/2007 19:23

YABU but you know that don't you? I just couldn't let someone go on the train if I was going that way anyway. You need to find a reason to go out by yourself at other times. eg. "must pop out for some milk - will be an hour or so"

Heated · 09/12/2007 19:24

The rewards of having a new friend probably outweigh your Stars in Your Eyes moment.

FlamesparodyOfAChristmasName · 09/12/2007 19:24

I do the round the block bit

amytheearwaxbanisher · 09/12/2007 19:27

yabu but i understand,do the block thing too

BigGitHoHoHoDad · 09/12/2007 19:29

Out of interest how do you find out about your local book club and what types of books they read?

mumzyof2 · 09/12/2007 23:31

i know what you mean, i LOVE driving around, esp with my music full blast. if you have a dp, go out on your own at night for 20 minutes and leave the kids with him. thats what i do. it gives you a chance to recharge.

hercules1 · 09/12/2007 23:34

I'd be the same as you.

SelfishMrsClaus · 09/12/2007 23:38

Pukka.. what the hell has the price of petrol got to do with her singing

charliecat · 09/12/2007 23:42

Can totally see where your coming from and theres a lass i give a run to town from school and I say you can have a lift if you dont mind my dreadful loud music....and she still comes...and i literally just drop her off!

Lizzer · 09/12/2007 23:50

YANBU, I used to relish the drive to college for the same reasons. Me time is so very important esp if you're usually in with lo's. Its a sanity saver and we all need our time alone to be a steering wheel diva!

BUT I doubt you can get out of it without looking like a right twunt, sorry

madamez · 09/12/2007 23:53

I can't give you any really useful advice as I would rather drown myself in a vat of melted Jeremy Clarksons than go to a book club. But YANBU. Time for yourselfis precious.

allIWannaBeForChristmas · 10/12/2007 06:52

so if you didn't give this woman a lift home then she would get the train? and presumably she would then have to walk home from the station? alone? at night?

sorry but that thought alone leaves me thinking yabu.

drive round the block after.

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight · 10/12/2007 07:07

YABU! But you already know that and you will give her a lift as you are a nice person. But I understand that you miss your 'space'.

So imv you are reasonably unreasonable!

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