Am I being a Scrooge? How much to spend of Christmas presents?

[TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine]

So this year finances are tighter than previously as am working shorter hours (health related). No idea if will be temporary or permanent, but have basically lost 40% of my income from 6 months ago. Normally I spend a lot on Christmas, but I simply can’t this year. I’ve had great suggestions on here for more ethical gifts, but hadn’t realised how very much more expensive they would be! I’m busy recalibrating my expectations, and part of that is spending. I was thinking of spending about £15-£20 each on family and children of friends, and just bottles of wine for a couple of close friends (£10 ish each). Maybe £250 in total, including my offspring. I mentioned this to a close family member, and they have basically accused me of being tight-fisted and a bit selfish, as I could spend more but don’t want to as would mean having to use my savings and they are for emergencies. Am I being unreasonable? Is £20 each not enough? For reference they mostly all earn well and are quite middle class (unlike my working class self!) so maybe I am out of order by their standards?

No presents for friends’’ children, ever!! They will have enough already.cutting down to £10 means buying more useless tat. We cut out buying for nieces/nephews after a couple of years as it was getting silly, trying to find something suitable.
We only buy for each other, our children ( grown up) and their partners. No GC yet.
You could send an ecard stating that you are making a donation to charity.. goats, toilets, Mary’s Meals, whatever you fancy, and are not sending cards or presents. Most people don’t want a candle, a set of bubble baths, or a bottle of wine.

With friends kids we agreed to just give a £5 present a few years back , just some chocolate or similar as kids got older and hard to but for as tastes became more expensive

Dh nephews we do selection box and £10 that means something to open and money to put towards something they want

Thank you so much everyone, you are making me feel a lot better! I normally spend a minimum of £60 on each family member, more on my offspring, and probably £20 each on friends and a bit more on their children. Just close friends though, and our children are friends so it’s sort of from them too. In the past I’ve been able to, and having never had any money growing up or when I was just starting out, I’ve really enjoyed being able to be generous. I honestly didn’t think anyone would mind, they all know what I’ve been going through this year, so was quite shocked to get a bad reaction when I mentioned it.

I really like the idea the idea of handmade gifts, will sound out friends to see what they’d like. I’m getting the impression that my family won’t be impressed though.

Secret Santa is such a good idea!

Good Grief! You're not being a scrooge, absolutely not.

Putting aside the environmental issue, a token gift is more than enough.

the nosy bugger in me wants to know what sort of gift your family member is expecting

Adding my voice to those who agree that your 'close family member' is a selfish twat.
Christmas is not a time to be forced into going into debt.

It's not selfish to live within your means. It's practical, intelligent, and wise. Your family member is completely wrong!

If anything, you could probably cut back even further. There's really no need to buy Christmas gifts for the children of friends. They'll surely be receiving so many gifts at Christmas that they won't miss it. A very small token gift would be sufficient, if you feel you must give something. And I'd tell friends you'd rather not exchange gifts, unless you really enjoy it.

You can make your own bath bombs. Mum made some for her friends and nicely packaged them. They liked them.

I spend massively but I don't usually buy for friends or their kids. I am childfree so it wouldn't workout eaqual-ish. Just my DH, 3 family members, something small for the rest and something small for neighbour's.
Everyone else gets a nice card (i get my printed) with a scratch card😁 maybe start lowering the present for non family a bit, slowly.

If someone grumbles about you being lower budget than usual, Santa might just remember for next year and get nothing... Don't you rhink? 😁

@Hayup I normally buy her high end makeup, think she’s a bit peeved that she’ll have to buy her own this year!

Agree with @Clarinet53 -Christmas is not amazing for hundreds of reasons but it’s nice to treat yourselves, buying gifts for extended family and for friends is overwhelming for the recipient which is why we can hardly remember last year’s Christmas presents. Treat your kids and your partner and have lots of activities planned so you share good times together.

I just spoke to one of the friends who I normally exchange gifts with for them and the children, and they were lovely - said no present needed but that a home made cake would be brilliant. They even checked how I’d feel about receiving gifts this year, as they don’t want me to feel awkward. Why can’t families be like this???

I think I'd drop the friends and their childrens presents. Concentrate on your own family. Say this has been a really hard year and I've had to cut back on my hours at work so I am only doing cards this year.

Absolutely don't use emergency savings for Christmas presents.
Chocolate Santa's for the dc
£5 bottle of wine for the adults
Your offspring is up to you.

I'm a total Scrooge, kids of friends get a cheap selection box.
Your budget is no one's business and you absolutely should not be dipping in to savings to extend it when you've had a tough year.
You need a shit happens fund for when the washer breaks etc.

@TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine buy some primark make up , you may convert them
Some people just can't get others finances
Luckily mine are ok but many of us are in similar positions ( excluding my parents but they just appreciate a gift of any kind especially if kids pick it)

Ooh I’ve never looked at Primark makeup. Will try that for me. Really not sure what to do about family. Suspect will turn their noses up at Primarni, it’s honestly soo g my head in🥺

I buy gifts for DS and my parents only. Not a chance would I buy for friends kids, nor would I expect them to buy for my child. Just don't do it.

We do secret Santa in my family with a £10-£20 limit. So it's really affordable and everyone gets a gift. We're all adults, we don't NEED anything in particular. The time spent together is better than gifts. For the young kiddies of DH family - chocolate selection boxes this year. Nothing for the adults as they didn't want to do secret Santa. Have had first baby this year so with maternity pay and having a little one, they can just understand we can't afford to spend this year or just lump it 🤣

Here’s Martin Lewis’ thoughts on it. I agree totally with him.

Just tell them all you are not exchanging gifts. That way you don't buy for anyone and you don't get anything in return. It's that simple. You can then buy something for yourself for a lot less money that you actually want/need instead of receiving gifts you might not even like. You can't be forced into buying for anyone. It really astounds me how people get so wound up about trying to say they want to stop buying gifts or cut down. The people you are buying for cannot dictate what you spend so to hell what family members say. You're not being tight.

I think YABU ... for even thinking about it. Honestly, I’d only be getting the children of friends a wee selection pack, and not get friends anything. But spend as much as you can on your own kids

This year we have decided we are not buying for anyone other than our children and parents and I sent out a nice message explaining this and everyone was absolutely fine with it .

I'd stop giving gifts outside the family. I've rarely exchanged gifts with anyone other than relatives, usually if I was visiting over the holidays I'd bring a token or if they were coming to me, but wouldn't if not.