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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave for not wearing a mask

502 replies

DuchessOfDisaster · 16/10/2021 11:11

I've just gone to my book group meeting. I'm mask exempt, and have a cold. Not COVID, we test twice a week at work. I was asked to wear a mask and as I didn't have one offered to leave. The other members said they thought that was best.

It's silly but I feel miffed! Even though I think it's the right thing!

OP posts:
Original poster
DuchessOfDisaster · 16/10/2021 13:10

I have severe asthma. I can cope with a mask for nipping in and out of a shop but longer than 15 minutes and I begin to wheeze.

Not everyone with a mask exemption is making it up.

OP posts:
KeyboardWorriers · 16/10/2021 13:10

Even before covid I would have been annoyed by someone showing up with cold symptoms.
"Just" a cold had my son in HDU in hospital on more than one occasion when he was younger.

vixeyann · 16/10/2021 13:11

Why would you go with a cold and think people would enjoy that? I get if people really have to go to work with one or they won't get paid but no to a social thing - no. Unless you are testing with a PCR test, you can't really be sure it's just a cold anymore.

SecondRateFrog · 16/10/2021 13:11

It's a private event - they can set their own rules. Are you really unable to wear a mask?

TheVampiresWife · 16/10/2021 13:11

So you're exempt, but you were asked to wear a mask but couldn't because you didn't have one? If you had one, would you have worn one? If so, you're not exempt. Not that exempt is a thing any more anyway (in England at least), because masks aren't mandatory. You can't be exempt from a law that doesn't exist.

Also, you offered to leave. So why were you miffed?

All a bit odd, really Confused

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/10/2021 13:12

Unless you PCR not just LFT twice a week it could be covid. Regardless no one wants a cold, especially as it means testing and maybe isolating etc.

Scirocco · 16/10/2021 13:14

YABU. Your book club members don't want your cold, and colds can affect people quite badly, especially at the moment, so it's just basic consideration for others to try to avoid sharing germs with them.

Mask exemption is a whole other issue. There are people who have genuine reasons why they can't wear one, but honestly the majority of people I've encountered who claim to be exempt actually just don't like wearing one or find it uncomfortable (not impossible). If you genuinely can't wear standard masks, there are alternatives (less effective but still worth exploring to keep people safe), eg. face visors, lighter-weight face coverings... And if you can't wear anything then you need to be extra, extra vigilant about infection control, social distancing and staying home if you have anything that could cause others to get ill.

donutqueen11 · 16/10/2021 13:14

I always have a mask in my pocket and a couple in my bag therefore if I am ever asked to wear one I will. BUT I do think that the world shouldn't stop and people shouldn't stay home with a cold - if you feel well. Before COVID people used to go to school/work/socialise with colds but now any little sniffle and people seem to stay home - my work would be mortified if I needed a day off for a cold - I sent both my kids into school this week with colds - much to their disgust as kids now seem to be off school for just a little sniffle.

hashbrownsandwich · 16/10/2021 13:16

@pianolessons1

Mask exempt? For what reason? The vast majority of people who claim mask exemption to me (I'm an HCP with full access to their notes) it's BS.

@pianolessons1 I was literally thinking the same thing! I'm HcP too.

CampagVelocet · 16/10/2021 13:19

The title is a bit disingenuous; you offered to leave, they didn't ask you to. They shouldn't have made a thing of it, though. It's just a cold, they happen. I'd rather have to deal with a cold every so often if it's the price I pay for being able to get out and about, see people, and live my life.

Marguerite2000 · 16/10/2021 13:20

@Rosesareyellow

I’m surprised by the responses on here. I’m sure pre-Covid no one would have thought it reasonable to tell someone to stay away from everyone because of a cold, except if you were visiting a new born maybe. Times have changed.
Well, yes. That's probably because we've had to come to terms with the fact that people like 'us' can catch a nasty virus and be very ill or even die of it. It's not just very old people, or people in poor countries any more.
donutqueen11 · 16/10/2021 13:20

@CampagVelocet

The title is a bit disingenuous; you offered to leave, they didn't ask you to. They shouldn't have made a thing of it, though. It's just a cold, they happen. I'd rather have to deal with a cold every so often if it's the price I pay for being able to get out and about, see people, and live my life.
Exactly how I feel. However annoying they are they have always been around!!
DrCoconut · 16/10/2021 13:21

I get dreadful coughs after a cold. They last months. I ended up being sent for x rays and then a CT scan as I just could shake off the last one. My GP thinks it's connected to my autoimmune issues. So I'm dreading winter and being infected at work. Same for DS2, he's asthmatic and things go to his chest easily. People with colds should stay at home. Did soldiering on, keep it to yourself! (I know taking sick leave is difficult for some people and this needs to change so no one is penalised for genuine illness).

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 16/10/2021 13:22

If you're sick enough to take a lemsip then I don't think it's really fair to go to a book club whilst ill. People don't want colds anytime but this year where if you gain a cough you have to self isolate until pcr test comes back negative it's really unfair to spread a cold attending something non essential.

Cherrydown · 16/10/2021 13:23

I just had cold symptoms, all LFTs were negative. PCR positive. No one knows if they just have a cold or not without a PCR.

pianolessons1 · 16/10/2021 13:23

@DuchessOfDisaster

I have severe asthma. I can cope with a mask for nipping in and out of a shop but longer than 15 minutes and I begin to wheeze.

Not everyone with a mask exemption is making it up.

Masks don't cause wheezing. I have patients with life threatening asthma who manage to wear them. I have asthma and I wear them to see patients. Asthmatic surgeons wear them for long operations.
Thadhiya · 16/10/2021 13:23

"Mask exempt..." Right. And you should wear one if you have a cold. Why would you go and spread your germs over everyone?

Why are people so selfish?

TheVampiresWife · 16/10/2021 13:23

Are we still having the 'most exemptions are BS' discussion? Even though they've not been mandatory for months?

@pianolessons1 you do realise not all exemptions will be in a patient's notes, don't you? A rape/DV survivor quite possibly won't have made their GP aware of their situation.

@hashbrownsandwich same goes to you.

Happily the HCPs I've encountered have all been lovely and not judgemental in the slightest. Perhaps you could follow suit.

DowntonCrabby · 16/10/2021 13:26

If you can’t wear a mask it was right for you to leave with a cold.

FatBettyintheCoop · 16/10/2021 13:27

@SirensofTitan

I'm really surprised by that, do you work, would you be off for a cold?
I don't think anyone at my work would have gone on the sick for a cold, that's not normal pre-pandemic behaviour is it? Goodness, I'd never be there.

Incredibly outdated thinking, even before Covid. I always sent my staff home if they turned up with a cold. (They still got full pay).

If you apply simple logic to the matter, you’d discover that if everyone stayed at home with a cold, they wouldn’t infect the other workers so you’d actually have far fewer absences overall. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Patapouf · 16/10/2021 13:28

YABU for going out with a cold, how selfish.

saraclara · 16/10/2021 13:30

All of my family have had colds and coughs in the last few weeks. Every single one of them got PCR tested to ensure that's all it was. And they stayed out of people's way because they understand how nervous people are, and also the cold that's going around is a nasty one so they didn't want to pass it on. My DD didn't even let me come round to look after her baby did she could rest, as she didn't want me to get it.
Going to book group unmasked was VVUR

MrsLargeEmbodied · 16/10/2021 13:31

glad you are not sharing your cold germs

Fizzbangwallop · 16/10/2021 13:32

@DuchessOfDisaster You offered to leave because you have a cold and they said yes. What made you think they’d want you to stay there with a cold and not wearing a mask?

Whether people go to work with colds is irrelevant in this situation. A book club isn’t work, it’s an optional social event that you choose to go to. Nobody will lose money or have their business affected if you miss it for a week. It’s selfish to spread your germs around when you don’t need to.

Underhisi · 16/10/2021 13:34

"As far as he's concerned, if you can walk without being dependent on oxygen you can wear a mask,"

Obviously an HCP without much experience of certain disabilities.

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