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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave for not wearing a mask

502 replies

DuchessOfDisaster · 16/10/2021 11:11

I've just gone to my book group meeting. I'm mask exempt, and have a cold. Not COVID, we test twice a week at work. I was asked to wear a mask and as I didn't have one offered to leave. The other members said they thought that was best.

It's silly but I feel miffed! Even though I think it's the right thing!

OP posts:
spotcheck · 16/10/2021 15:17

@StoneofDestiny

Turning up to a book club with a cold might not have been a smart move.
✅
newnameday · 16/10/2021 15:19

Honestly, if you have a cold even half as bad as mine is, you are very unreasonable to go anywhere in close contact like a book group. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone.

Why did you think it was ok to pass your germs on, since you're exempt and can't /won't wear a mask. You were happy to give your cold to the rest of the group.

I'm pleased they felt comfortable to agree you should leave and pleased you offered, as some selfish people would go in and infect everyone without a care (I know one person in one of my weekly groups!)

ichundich · 16/10/2021 15:26

@DappledThings

Do people really not get on with normal things when they have a cold? Alright maybe different in the current times but pre-covid I never knew of anyone thinking of colds as anything other than a fact of life. I've never thought anything of anyone turning up somewhere with a cold.
I think it's unnecessary and antisocial with work being the only exception. No one enjoys having a cold!
ejhhhhh · 16/10/2021 15:29

It's one thing going to work with a cold because you have no choice and you might lose your job if you take too much time off, but it's another to turn up to a non-essential social event with an illness. The least you should do in that situation is wear a mask. If you're mask exempt, stay at home. It just stay at home anyway.

TheVampiresWife · 16/10/2021 15:33

@pianolessons1

I'm talking actual.medical common sense. Not the nonsensical guidelines which allow pretty much anyone to self declare as exempt and are a big part of why we are in such a big mess re covid. But I'm not arguing any more. If you think you are mask exempt and aren't prepared to try and wear one then fine. Your HCPs will tolerate you as they have no choice.
There are no longer any guidelines because masks aren't mandatory. And even when they were, you can only abide by the existing laws, not make up your own.

And I don't 'think' in exempt, I am exempt. My neurologist pointed out that I was, after I'd attempted to wear a mask and had a TN flare which resulted in over a week of pretty much contact attacks. So yes, I've attempted to wear one, and no, I can't.

My HCPs don't 'tolerate' me. They're caring, empathetic individuals who are fully aware of exemptions and the rules surrounding them - unlike some in their profession, clearly. Thank goodness the latter variety are in the minority. I've certainly never encountered one.

OverTheRubicon · 16/10/2021 15:38

@SuperCaliFragalistic

I don't get all the pearl clutching about a cold. It's just a cold, some people have colds almost back to back all winter. Life can't stop when you have a cold.
No, but book clubs can. If one of her friends who then wakes up 2 days later with a high temperature and cough and therefore needs to take a test and wait for a result, it doesn't matter if it was 'just a cold', it can still mean 2 days off work and stuck in the house.
MyPatronusIsACat · 16/10/2021 15:39

@DuchessOfDisaster

Of course YABU Hmm You should not even have gone with a cold, spreading your germs amongst the others.

Shopaholic100 · 16/10/2021 15:43

@fiorentina

I’m currently Covid positive and my initial symptoms were the same as a cold. I tested as I’d had close contact with someone positive. That’s why people are wary of colds.
I have relatives/friends in exactly the same situation. Most people are coming down with cold symptoms which turn out to be COVID. Please keep your cold at home away from others.
ejhhhhh · 16/10/2021 15:43

I just don't get all the "it's just a cold" responses. I'm a teacher, and if I get symptoms of a cold that look like Covid I'm isolating at home until I get the results of a PCR test. And your kids won't have their teacher. Extrapolate that to all other essential public services, or just anyone with a job they need to do tbh, and you can see why it's not a great idea to be out mixing socially woth colds. There isn't enough staff as it is, even when everyone is well. If we're at home when we get a cold, even for a day, this winter is going to be carnage. Let's all just take some collective responsibility for keeping rbe country functioning shall we, and stay the f at home if we have colds if we can.

SuperstoreFan · 16/10/2021 15:46

@CatherineCawood

The cold that is currently doing the rounds sent me into hospital last night because it made my usually v v v mild asthma flare up. So mild I use an inhaler about twice a month.

I had to be in COVID resus on oxygen, a nebuliser, now on antibiotics just in case as there was a query on my chest xray. You're sent to the red covid area even if you have a negative PCR under your belt.

Bloody wish whoever gave me the cold had worn a mask or stayed at home TBH.

If I am not there with him to help then he physically cannot put a mask on due to his physical disability.
SuperstoreFan · 16/10/2021 15:46

Whoops quoted the wrong poster.

notanothertakeaway · 16/10/2021 15:47

Slightly off topic, but if more people will be working from home in future, I assume it'll be easier to WFH if you have a cold. In the past, that wasn't really an option. Perhaps we will catch fewer colds as a result

DriftingBlue · 16/10/2021 15:48

Attending a recreational activity with a cold is not acceptable anymore.
Expecting to do it without a mask is just ridiculous .

girlmom21 · 16/10/2021 15:49

Why did you offer to leave if you were going to get upset by them accepting your offer?

TheVampiresWife · 16/10/2021 15:50

I agree that going into work while ill with a cold (that you know isn't covid, because obviously if it was you'd not be going anywhere) isn't desirable. Vulnerable people (I'm one myself) can become very ill from colds/flu. However what about those who absolutely cannot stay off work for a cold? Those who don't get paid if they don't work, and those whose employers won't allow sick leave for a cold?

I'm not sure what the answer is. I've had to watch my contact with ill people for donkeys years, it was second nature to me long before covid. But I wouldn't want people to lose wages and not be able to afford to pay rent or whatever because of me, and never would have expected them to.

Surely we can't isolate if we have colds which we know are just colds?

AliceinBorderland · 16/10/2021 15:50

@MalagaNights

I'd rather we had a culture of if you have a cold stay home rather than mask wearing.
Only having a cold doesn't exempt you from work or school. Strange thing to say
TheVampiresWife · 16/10/2021 15:51

@DriftingBlue

Attending a recreational activity with a cold is not acceptable anymore. Expecting to do it without a mask is just ridiculous .
Why was it acceptable pre covid?

Vulnerable people have always existed.

ejhhhhh · 16/10/2021 15:55

People are isolating at home when they have colds because many cold symptoms look like Covid. You're supposed to isolate and take a PCR test if you have cold symptoms (lateral flow tests are just for those who are asymptomatic), and getting the results back can take days.

Toomanyradishes · 16/10/2021 15:58

I also have severe asthma, ive had to have several bouts of strong steroids recently to get over a bad chest infection, so im amazed if your asthma is that severe you think it acceptable to go out to a social engagement with a cold, given you must understand the consequences if someone with severe asthma catches it?

Allywill · 16/10/2021 16:00

Colds come in many shapes and sizes, effect people differently and may well impact in how you do your job depending on what it is. if you working in icu with a cold for instance surely has more of an impact than coming into an office. equally if you need intense concentration and very precise movements (an extremely example - bomb disposal?!!!) in order to do your job I am not sure random sneezing fits would be ideal. colds can also massively disturb your sleep and even a small amount of sleep deprivation effects your ability to operate machinery including cars. it actually has as much a effect as alcohol and you wouldn’t drive when under the influence- you equally shouldn’t drive tired. so i don’t think you can say no one should be calling in sick with a cold. so yes maybe transport workers, HGV drivers etc should think about if they are fit to do their shift and if they are not call in sick.

MalagaNights · 16/10/2021 16:00

15:50AliceinBorderland

MalagaNights

I'd rather we had a culture of if you have a cold stay home rather than mask wearing.

Only having a cold doesn't exempt you from work or school. Strange thing to say.

I **know. I'm saying we should change the culture.

Apparently in Germany going into work ill with a cold is not acceptable.
We should move towards that.

AliceinBorderland · 16/10/2021 16:01

@MalagaNights

15:50AliceinBorderland

MalagaNights

I'd rather we had a culture of if you have a cold stay home rather than mask wearing.

Only having a cold doesn't exempt you from work or school. Strange thing to say.

I **know. I'm saying we should change the culture.

Apparently in Germany going into work ill with a cold is not acceptable.
We should move towards that.

People on zero hour contracts who don't get paid if they don't go to work???

Presumably you're not one of those?

It's ridiculous to suggest people take sick leave for a cold

OrangeSamphire · 16/10/2021 16:09

Think it’s a bit of a faux pas to go anywhere public with a cold now. Probably a good thing.

Re mask exception. There’s some utter bollocks on this thread, some of it from ‘HCPs’. Disappointing.

Someone upthread mentioned needing a medical letter for flying. You don’t. My daughter flew last week with her sunflower lanyard. The airport was full of signs recognising invisible disabilities and all staff were super. She can’t wear a mask because of ptsd from a long hospital stay at the height of covid lockdown in 2020. Her ptsd includes non epileptic seizures. If she puts on a mask, it triggers seizure after seizure. To look at her you’d never know that, of course.

Igneo · 16/10/2021 16:09

^Apparently in Germany going into work ill with a cold is not acceptable.
We should move towards that.^
*People on zero hour contracts who don't get paid if they don't go to work???

Presumably you're not one of those?

It's ridiculous to suggest people take sick leave for a cold*

How about changing things so zero hours contracts aren’t a thing??? Having decent employment rights wouldn’t be ridiculous

EveningOverRooftops · 16/10/2021 16:20

When individuals turn up to work or whatever with a cold it’s creates an environment where you’re expected To go into sick risking making everyone sick and productivity plummets.

So you should’ve stayed at home.

I’ve a cold right now with a headache. Not covid but I’m staying home. DC is staying home. It’s be selfish for me to go out with a bug.