Mother or Birthing Parent

[thaigreen]

Which term do you prefer?

YABU Birthing Parent
YANBU Mother

I don't even like the term 'birthing' - it's 'giving birth'. And I don't somehow think 'birthing parent' will catch on.!

@Xiaoxiong

See for instance NHS trusts, the Scottish govt, the ministry of justice, etc

Replace, or include in addition to?

What about lesbian couples though? One may have gestated but both parties are 'mothers'. The term 'birthing parent' makes sense here.

I'd probably laugh at any professional who referred to me as the birthing parent. I'm the mother and ill be insisting that they use my preferred term.

I am my children’s mother. I didn’t just birth them, I gave my body to grow them, to feed them, completely altered myself physically and irrecoverably in the process. To describe a mother as a ‘birthing parent’ minimises this evolution as a human being in a way that is to me ultimately disrespectful and demeaning. I have no problem with a trans man choosing this term for themself if it makes them more comfortable. But that is THEIR choice and should not be imposed upon all women.

@RobertaFirmino

What about lesbian couples though? One may have gestated but both parties are 'mothers'. The term 'birthing parent' makes sense here.

Is this something lesbians are calling for?

@Glitterybug

Why are you asking op? Where have you seen the use of birthing parent?

Apparently the Scottish government has completely replaced the word mother with a more ‘inclusive’ term in all it’s literature. Yet another example of their utter disregard for women.

What a pointless poll. This is Mumsnet, you know what people are going to say to this, even without posting in the feminism topic.

@PurpleDaisies

There will be a tiny, tiny, number of women who won’t want to be called the baby’s mother. To relabel every pregnant woman as a birthing parent to avoid offending this minuscule minority seems crazy to me.

But isn't that they way things are now? One or two people choose to be 'offended' so it's changed to appease their delicate senses, the fact that many many others are 'offended' by the change is ignored, the minority rule.

Woman/mother. That's what I am.

@Glitterybug

Why are you asking op? Where have you seen the use of birthing parent?

The word mother has been removed from Scottish government maternity policies.

Benjamin Cohen of Pink News said that he’d like to see some verified polling that women are concerned about this as he believes those that are concerned are a small but vocal minority.

I thought I’d ask Mumsnet for him

There will be a tiny, tiny, number of women who won’t want to be called the baby’s mother. To relabel every pregnant woman as a birthing parent to avoid offending this minuscule minority seems crazy to me.

My emotions/patience were all over the shop when pregnant/giving birth. I would not have wanted to be referred to as "birthing parent" and any medic who tried it would have fucking known about it.

I'm a mother and proud. Anyone who wants to refer to me as a 'birthing parent' or whatever can fuck off!

*What about lesbian couples though? One may have gestated but both parties are 'mothers'. The term 'birthing parent' makes sense."

Or even birth mother?

Why must we eliminate the clear, we understood term "mother" with all its positive connotations?

For me? Mother. For someone who doesn't want that?i guess they prefer "birthing parent"?

@RobertaFirmino

What about lesbian couples though? One may have gestated but both parties are 'mothers'. The term 'birthing parent' makes sense here.

That's my thought too. Great username!

Mother for me. If anybody called me birthing parent I would correct them and ask them to refer to me as the mother as that is what I am.

@Manteo

What a pointless poll. This is Mumsnet, you know what people are going to say to this, even without posting in the feminism topic.

Not at all. I’d like to know what people formerly known as Mothers think and this is the best place to ask!

To be clear, what we're talking about here is governmental policy documents which are specifically talking about people who have given birth. There are mothers who don't give birth, and people who give birth who don't call themselves mothers (including those who are giving their children up for adoption). Therefore, in formal policy documents, "birthing parent" is the most accurate term. Because it is not policy about being a mother. It is not applicable to all mothers. It is applicable to all people who have given (or are going to give) birth.

To me this discussion isn't even about transgender people. It is about the accuracy of language in legally or legislatively binding, documents. And in my experience (as someone who writes said documents for a living!), the more accurate and specific you can be, the better.

Whichever applies to the person in that situation. As pp said, lesbian couples, surrogacy. There's no one way to bring a child into the world so whatever works for the people involved.

Asking a well established echo chamber known for having a lot of extreme opinions is not verified polling. But you knew that.

Due to the nature of my first child's arrival and subsequent postpartum psychosis, I would have found "birthing parent" triggering. I hated the use of the word "birth" when used in relation to me, still do to be honest.

From my time spent on birth trauma related society media, I'd say women who feel like I did out weigh the number of trans men having babies by a large margin.

Tbh yes as a lesbian family, of which both of us have given birth at different times, it has been useful for us to have 'birthing parent' as language to use to define our family at different points.

I know that FWR is considered an echo chamber but was not aware the same was considered of Mumsnet as a whole.

@Dinosauratemydaffodils

Due to the nature of my first child's arrival and subsequent postpartum psychosis, I would have found "birthing parent" triggering. I hated the use of the word "birth" when used in relation to me, still do to be honest.

From my time spent on birth trauma related society media, I'd say women who feel like I did out weigh the number of trans men having babies by a large margin.

I'm sorry you experienced that. I think the language should be centered around the person requesting it, personally. Using one term to define all never works.

Having said that, the 'birthing parent' language is not just about trans people.