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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs and visits

61 replies

Milkshake54 · 14/10/2021 20:44

Am I being unreasonable for saying I don’t want animals in my house?

Me and my DP are not animal people, but family members are getting upset that we have said we don’t want their pets visiting our house. Been made to feel quite guilty about it.

Animal owners - do you get upset when your furry (or non furry) friends aren’t allowed to visit other people’s homes?

AIBU?

OP posts:
MrzClaus · 14/10/2021 20:47

Nope! YANBU!

We had this before getting our cats - a few people (okay one very rude BILs partner) was very put out she couldn't bring round her two badly behaved untrained dogs into our lovely home. I always stood firm and said no! Luckily now we have cats no one asks. I wouldn't be offended if someone said this to me! Although my cats don't like harnesses so can't take them anywhere 😂

thetaleunfolds · 14/10/2021 20:47

No, I never expect my dog to be welcome at other people’s houses at all 😳

Brollywasntneededafterall · 14/10/2021 20:48

We have ddogs. Never in a million years would I expect to take them to visit anyone!!
When our dhusky was still quite young a friend requested I take her....
She shit on dfriend's new rug...
Never invited back!!
As a dc we had 2 ddogs and dgm had 2. We took ours there every week. Ddog walking was a good part of the day though!! Never anywhere else...

skybluee · 14/10/2021 20:49

No, it's your choice.

XenoBitch · 14/10/2021 20:50

Is it a gecko? Grin

FFSFFSFFS · 14/10/2021 20:52

Im very attached to my dog and take him most places (small and well behaved) but would totally accept if someone said no to him and always ask if it’s somewhere new.

If it was close friends to be really honest I’d struggle if they said no unless because of allergies, scared of dogs etc. But I would still think they were totally entitled to have that boundary - it would just make me think the friendship is less compatible. But my dog is an important emotional support for me

You also can’t leave dogs for more than about four hours alone if you’re a responsible owner so that can also be a factoe

Original poster
Milkshake54 · 14/10/2021 20:54

@XenoBitch

Is it a gecko? Grin
🤣🤣 not a gecko!
OP posts:
jagoda · 14/10/2021 20:56

YANBU

My dog is of course perfectly behaved Halo but I would not dream of taking him to anyone's home without checking it was OK, and if they said no, then I would either leave DDog behind. If that wasn't possible, I wouldn't be able to visit, but I wouldn't blame the other person.

Stick to your guns. They visit without fur babies or they don't visit at all.

Original poster
Milkshake54 · 14/10/2021 20:57

@FFSFFSFFS

Im very attached to my dog and take him most places (small and well behaved) but would totally accept if someone said no to him and always ask if it’s somewhere new.

If it was close friends to be really honest I’d struggle if they said no unless because of allergies, scared of dogs etc. But I would still think they were totally entitled to have that boundary - it would just make me think the friendship is less compatible. But my dog is an important emotional support for me

You also can’t leave dogs for more than about four hours alone if you’re a responsible owner so that can also be a factoe

My reasons are that I pay for a cleaner, I don’t want to have to do additional cleaning for other people’s pets.

I have a DS at home, who spends most of his time on the floor.

The particular animal in question nipped my DS’s foot when he was a few months old and visiting my DF.

The animal in question is a hyper active puppy…

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 14/10/2021 20:57

Don't think my dogs would like to visit a non dog home.

Macaroni46 · 14/10/2021 20:57

Absolutely YANBU. I'm not an animal person and I don't want other people's animals in my home. There's a reason I don't have pets.
Stick to your guns OP.

ShirleyPhallus · 14/10/2021 20:58

No I don’t mind. As long as friends understand that by saying our dog can’t come then we might not be able to visit always.

Gothichouse40 · 14/10/2021 20:59

Your home, your rules. If folk don't like it, no one is forcing them to visit you.

seaandsandcastles · 14/10/2021 21:00

YANBU. I don’t want anyone’s animal in my home and I don’t care how they feel about it 🤷‍♀️ They chose to burden themselves.

Mynameismargot · 14/10/2021 21:00

No. We have 2 dogs and they come with us to mils because she loves them and that is about it. They are hyper handfuls at other people's houses so I don't inflict them on others. I would never ask though to be honest because I don't want to put people in awkward positions I just make other arrangements for the dogs.

WisestIsShe · 14/10/2021 21:01

Of course YANBU but I'd only be able to visit you for a short time as DDog doesn't like to be left in his own for too long.

HelpMeWithMyHip · 14/10/2021 21:02

Nope. We take my dog to my nans, mum's and dbros house as they all love him but I wouldn't take him to anyone elses without asking. I don't mind other people bringing their dog to my house as long as they don't chase my cats.

HelpMeWithMyHip · 14/10/2021 21:03

@HelpMeWithMyHip

Nope. We take my dog to my nans, mum's and dbros house as they all love him but I wouldn't take him to anyone elses without asking. I don't mind other people bringing their dog to my house as long as they don't chase my cats.
Without 'them' asking that should say. I'd never ask someone if we could take him to their house.
Original poster
Milkshake54 · 14/10/2021 21:05

@WisestIsShe

Of course YANBU but I'd only be able to visit you for a short time as DDog doesn't like to be left in his own for too long.
What would you do if you had family a couple of hours away and they didn’t want you to take the DDog?
OP posts:
SuperheroBirds · 14/10/2021 21:10

We’ve got two dogs and only take them to our parent’s houses, who are more than happy to have themselves there. I wouldn’t dream of even asking to take them to friends or most of the family. They are big, hairy, stinky, and messy which is fine if you love them but you can’t expect everyone else to love your dogs.

DramaAlpaca · 14/10/2021 21:12

Of course you're not unreasonable. I wouldn't expect to take my dogs to anyone's house and I wouldn't want other people's dogs in my home either.

bert3400 · 14/10/2021 21:15

I have two dogs and certainly would never take them to someone else's house, even if invited , I could not relax. I also don't like other people bringing their dogs to my house. No one really likes your dog the way you do, so would absolutely never push the issue .

FFSFFSFFS · 14/10/2021 21:16

Well if you’re a couple of hours away then they’ll have to arrange dog care etc - so I think that while you’re of course totally entitled to say no dog you also have to understand that this has implications for them and it’s not reasonable for you to be annoyed if they then don’t come or don’t come for long.

I might me misreading - but it sounds like you would be annoyed that not bringing the dog will then change how they visit?

SuperheroBirds · 14/10/2021 21:16

My family live a couple of hours away, if we stay at mum’s we take them as she loves them. If we are going to be really busy and seeing people away from Mum’s house, my husband’s family dog sit or we use kennels. If my husband’s family didn’t love them and weren’t happy to dog sit, it would probably reduce the number of trips we did to see my family.

GoodnightGrandma · 14/10/2021 21:17

I take my dog everywhere with me, so just wouldn’t come to your house because I wouldn’t dream of taking him to someone’s house.