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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men on Mumsnet!

331 replies

AnnieSnap · 14/10/2021 18:42

AIBU to wonder why some men are on Mumsnet? I don’t have strong feelings about it, I’m not anti-men and the posts from men I have come across on here have all been fine, but it just strikes me as odd that these reasonable men would become a part of an obviously women’s forum. Sleazy men, it would make sense, but decent blokes?

OP posts:
iamtheoneandonlyyy · 14/10/2021 22:13

@Snoozysnoozy

The male voice is 95% of the rest of the internet.

Is it really? Any evidence of that statistic?

why can't we have just one space, just for women?

What men only space on the internet are you banned from?

Grindr? Grin
Manic2Mummy · 14/10/2021 22:24

"Snoozysnoozy

The male voice is 95% of the rest of the internet.

Is it really? Any evidence of that statistic?

why can't we have just one space, just for women?

What men only space on the internet are you banned from?

Grindr?"

PMSL

ShrikeAttack · 14/10/2021 22:33

I accidentally joined Grindr once.

My single (female) friend was telling how bad tinder was and and told me to join it, just for a day, to get a taste of how awful it was.

I joined Grindr by mistake.

I didn't last long.

ShrikeAttack · 14/10/2021 22:34

Actually, it was quite instructive. I was told to fuck off within about 10 minutes.

Hollowgast · 14/10/2021 22:48

I don't post that much, but I spend ages reading the forums, mainly AIBU as it's often funny and you can discuss day to day stuff but also relationships and some of the fwr boards too.

I've found it a hugely enlightening place, it's helped me understand situations in the past where I was acting in a way that may have made people uncomfortable, as I have Asperger's I can get a bit focused so it's not intentional, but now I know better. I've also learned about much of the everyday sexism that women have deal with and can raise and challenge it sooner. By reading and learning I've become a better person, better husband and better dad, so thank you MN.

Hollowgast · 14/10/2021 22:55

Sorry, forgot to add that MN has made realise how important women's spaces are under threat, and the bravery of those putting their heads above the parapet to protest is admirable. I do use pistonheads too as I'm a huge motor sport fan, but I sometimes find that discussions, especially in a few fora, can turn into a superiority competition which is just so effing dull. Eg: look at my new trainers (placed on the bonnet of their Ferrari)

Plannymcplanface · 14/10/2021 23:00

I very rarely post, but have been a frequent visitor here for over a decade since being introduced to it by a female family member when my DW first became pregnant. At the risk of over gushing, it is a great source of wisdom and wit that has enabled me to see perspectives on important things I’d be unlikely to appreciate in real life. I have not (in twenty years of spending far too much time on the internet) come across any male-branded site that is remotely as engaging across such a diverse range of topics (whether on parenting, relationships, politics, life in general).

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 23:09

@Snoozysnoozy

The male voice is 95% of the rest of the internet.

Is it really? Any evidence of that statistic?

why can't we have just one space, just for women?

What men only space on the internet are you banned from?

Let me Google that for you Hmm

It was clearly hyperbole.

However there is absolutely a sex divide in both access to the internet and space taken up. And there is a great deal of misogyny out there in cyberspace. Have you missed the debates about the dreadful shit happening to women gamers?

Regardless, if the name of the site puts off most twatty men, and invites men who appreciate a mainly female space, great.

justasking111 · 14/10/2021 23:16

The few men I have seen on here were polite, didn't swear and listened to the advice given.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 14/10/2021 23:21

I’m a woman but not a parent - I arrived here after googling something beauty related, and never left. That was about eight years ago. I guess most men are the same.

Hawkins001 · 14/10/2021 23:26

@TheReluctantPhoenix

Mumsnet is, according to their own strap line, ‘by parents for parents’.

I find it stranger to see non parents on a parenting forum.

Following your logic, if it's ment for parents then why is there many threads that's nothing to do with parenting ?
BasicDad · 14/10/2021 23:27

@PurpleDaisies

Is it only me that’s a bit depressed that so many posters think predominantly female forum would be improved by adding more men, or that men’s views are seemingly more valued than women’s opinions.
I'm a champion of diversity in the workplace of a largely man dominated industry. Women's (or any minority) values are not more valued.

It's about the balance of everyone's views, and it makes everything better. A better workplace for our people, better service for our clients, and better for our bottom line.

Hawkins001 · 14/10/2021 23:27

I came here due to the infamous penis beaker in the daily mail. Then considering the vast amount of threads on different topics, hours can be spent on mumsnet.

PeriChristmas · 14/10/2021 23:41

I find it very odd when women, who don't have any kids, come onto a parenting forum & bang on about not wanting or liking kids.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/10/2021 23:41

It's about the balance of everyone's views

I find this an instructive tool for seeing if there's actually balance. arementalkingtoomuch.com/

In most meetings I've found it's so obvious I don't need it.

PeriChristmas · 14/10/2021 23:41

@MelKarnofskyCrane

I just imagine they’re all like Kevin from Motherland. He’s definitely a Mumsnetter Grin
🤣🤣🤣
LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 14/10/2021 23:42

Men can be mums too you know. Hang on, I might be a bit confused...

WorraLiberty · 14/10/2021 23:48

@PeriChristmas

I find it very odd when women, who don't have any kids, come onto a parenting forum & bang on about not wanting or liking kids.
Why though?

I think people's reasons for not wanting kids are just as interesting and certainly as valid as people's reasons for actually wanting kids.

As for liking them, well I'm not overly keen on other people's kids, and I'm certainly not alone in that on Mumsnet.

PurpleDaisies · 14/10/2021 23:54

I'm a champion of diversity in the workplace of a largely man dominated industry. Women's (or any minority) values are not more valued.

It's about the balance of everyone's views, and it makes everything better. A better workplace for our people, better service for our clients, and better for our bottom line.

Well, lovely but this isn’t a workplace. It’s a predominantly female discussion forum. I’m not sure corporate guff is relevant. I’m not sure why I’d need a balance of men’s and women’s views here.

Snugglybuggly · 15/10/2021 00:05

Why not?!

PurpleDaisies · 15/10/2021 00:09

@Snugglybuggly

Why not?!
What’s this in relation to?
Skysblue · 15/10/2021 00:18

Yanbu

DoYouLikeOwls · 15/10/2021 00:30

I just couldn't imagine my DH saying "I'm just having an hour on Mumsnet". As much as you Woke people are getting yourself all bothered. We are an old fashioned male & female couple.

Hawkins001 · 15/10/2021 00:36

@DoYouLikeOwls

I just couldn't imagine my DH saying "I'm just having an hour on Mumsnet". As much as you Woke people are getting yourself all bothered. We are an old fashioned male & female couple.
I already drop it in conversation that I've been reading mumsnet
TheBlackArt · 15/10/2021 00:46

Following your logic, if it's ment for parents then why is there many threads that's nothing to do with parenting

Exactly. Or, are you only allowed to discuss the myriad of other topics on here if you're a parent? Confused