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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for the stocking back?

76 replies

FrankieDobie · 14/10/2021 14:15

I had a tradition with my kids when they were little that I got them a stocking for Christmas and filled it with pyjamas, socks, books and little bits like that. This was from Father Christmas. The main presents separate from the stocking were from me. My sons are now in their 20s but still get a stocking every Christmas.

I now want to start this tradition with my granddaughter - but I want to use the same stocking every year so WIBU to ask for it back after Christmas or will I look mean?

OP posts:
moonshine3600 · 14/10/2021 14:17

Not at all!
Just say I'm wanting to start a tradition for him so can I get it back after Xmas!

OdettySpaghetti · 14/10/2021 14:17

“Your tradition”? I think you’ll find it’s not all that unique to you to give the kids a stocking full of presents at Christmas 😂

TinnedPotatoesRock · 14/10/2021 14:17

Maybe this is something her parents would like to do with the stocking you had for your son?

SevenOldLadies · 14/10/2021 14:17

Do their parents actually want you to start that tradition with their DC? I know a lot of parents like doing stockings, so there might be duplication.

Ukholidaysaregreat · 14/10/2021 14:18

Explain the plan before Christmas and see if the parents like it. Then people won't be confused. I love it when the Nannies spoil my kids at Christmas! I also do my kids a stocking for the end of their bed so maybe one would be from parents / Father Christmas and one would be from Nanny/ Father Christmas. There is a possibility that your stocking might get relegated and just be from Nanny but hopefully if you talk about it before you can get something that makes everyone pleased.

Peridot1 · 14/10/2021 14:19

It’s normally the parents who do the stocking isn’t it?

Although my dad did stockings for the grandchildren at my parents house. His were usually just chocolate.

ChicCroissant · 14/10/2021 14:20

I would also check with your granddaughter's parents first, to see if they'd like you to do your own stocking. Does the grandchild's mother get a stocking as well from you?

WhatsWithAllTheCarrots · 14/10/2021 14:20

But won't the child put out the stocking at night before Father Christmas arrives to fill it up? So you won't actually need to have the stocking back - you just make sure the parents have the goodies ready to fill it up with on Christmas Eve?

As others said, I would be surprised if the parents don't want to do a stocking themselves, though! When I was little I always used to get a range of little presents from friends and family in my stocking, not just Father Christmas, and I do the same with my kids now - I just put in anything people send that is small enough to fit!

A family friend gave our children lovely stockings for their first Christmases, and we use those every year. That's very special. Maybe you could be the person who gives your grandaughter her stocking, which will be used for the rest of her childhood? (If her parents haven't already got one!)

girlmom21 · 14/10/2021 14:21

Could you just tell her Father Christmas came and left a stocking at your house too if you're not seeing her on Christmas Day?

JimmyLennon · 14/10/2021 14:21

My mum has a sack for each of the grandkids presents and we just give them back after Christmas

PinkWaferBiscuit · 14/10/2021 14:22

I'd ask your granddaughters parents. As lovely as it was for you to do it for your children I do think this is overstepping. Surely it's her parents job just like it was your job when yours were children. Depending on how they decide to do santa granny giving her another stocking could be confusing.

LivingNextDoorToNorma · 14/10/2021 14:22

Just checking I understand, you’re planning on buying your gd a stocking this year, filling it with treats from Santa, then put the empty a stocking away for next year?

If that’s it, I see no problem at all. We had the same stocking every year at home and at my grandmothers. We do the same thing for dc now. Once presents are opened the stockings get collected up ‘ready for next year’. No one gives it any thought, and you shouldn’t either. I think it’s a lovely idea.

Dixiechickonhols · 14/10/2021 14:23

I’d ask as usually parents will want to do stocking - you’ve had your turn. If they don’t mind then explain you’d like to get a personalised stocking and use same one each year. Again though they may want to pick stocking to go with decor etc.

boomboom1234 · 14/10/2021 14:27

Won't the child's parents be doing this already?

Tomatalillo · 14/10/2021 14:29

I can of course see why you’d want to do it but I think it’s a parent’s place to do stockings. Ask them of course as they might think the more the merrier, but many wouldn’t and also if yours were ‘better’ than their stockings for whatever reason, I can see this causing some unhappiness.

Time to step back I think. Or do stockings for the adults! I’m sure they’d still love it.

Original poster
FrankieDobie · 14/10/2021 14:30

Wow glad I asked! I really didn’t see an issue but DH said I was overstepping the mark. I sometimes forget that she isn’t mine 😂 I’ll ask her mum what she thinks

OP posts:
HoardingSamphireSaurus · 14/10/2021 14:31

I agree.

You obviously loved doing it. Why not gift your kids their old stockings, or new ones, so they can have the same joy of it as you did.

Make new grandparent traditions.

Winniemarysarah · 14/10/2021 14:31

@PinkWaferBiscuit

I'd ask your granddaughters parents. As lovely as it was for you to do it for your children I do think this is overstepping. Surely it's her parents job just like it was your job when yours were children. Depending on how they decide to do santa granny giving her another stocking could be confusing.
Posts like this make me so sad. Is a little stocking from granny with Xmas socks and a book in really over stepping? Surely she means to keep at her own house, she can make up all sorts of reasons why there’s an extra one there for her. We haven’t seen my ohs parents for 7 years and my partners haven’t even met my 3 children because they don’t give a shit. I can’t believe there’s parents out there so controlling and uptight that they’d honestly get so upset over someone doing a small act of kindness for their child.
LastStarfighter · 14/10/2021 14:32

Definitely check with your granddaughter’s parents in case you are overstepping the mark.

Also, you say you still give stockings to your sons. Do you not give them also to your sons’ partners? Or is your son not still with the mother of your granddaughter?

Original poster
FrankieDobie · 14/10/2021 14:34

I don’t do one for their partners, my granddaughters parents are no longer together but obviously I still see the mum weekly so maybe I should!

OP posts:
PinkWaferBiscuit · 14/10/2021 14:34

I can’t believe there’s parents out there so controlling and uptight that they’d honestly get so upset over someone doing a small act of kindness for their child.

No need to be sad. It's not even a little bit controlling to want to your child's stocking. Some things should be left just as special perks of being the child's parent and unless the child's parents have agreed to others partaking in them it would be unreasonable to do them without asking.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 14/10/2021 14:34

My MIL has always made little gift bags of stocking type stuff, which they give with their presents. My DM sometimes gives me a few things to add to the stocking. But making stocking for your children is the fun part, so do check.

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 14/10/2021 14:35

@FrankieDobie

Wow glad I asked! I really didn’t see an issue but DH said I was overstepping the mark. I sometimes forget that she isn’t mine 😂 I’ll ask her mum what she thinks
Please let her parents have this lovely job ! I’m 50 and my mum still does me a stocking - how about you resume it, with more adult presents, for your DS and DSIL?
TheWrongReasonMaybe · 14/10/2021 14:35

@PinkWaferBiscuit

I'd ask your granddaughters parents. As lovely as it was for you to do it for your children I do think this is overstepping. Surely it's her parents job just like it was your job when yours were children. Depending on how they decide to do santa granny giving her another stocking could be confusing.
My 7yo DD gets 3 stockings, one from me, one from ExH and one from Ex-PILs.

We've told her that Santa's a bit silly and doesn't know what house she's going to be at for Christmas so leaves presents at all 3 home.

She loves it and always come back saying "Silly Santa gave me 3 stockings again"

sweeneytoddsrazor · 14/10/2021 14:41

Do people really chose their DCs stocking to match their decor? What happened to cute little reindeer or Santa ones. Or even ones with names on.