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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I wish I could escape the UK...

244 replies

Itsokay2020 · 12/10/2021 13:45

Just that really! I used to love this country, but I feel really deflated today.

I read the headlines and it’s so depressing, I go for a walk and I just see overgrown hedgerows and weeds everywhere. Footpaths are becoming impossible to negotiate due to overgrowth. My energy supplier went bust, the new supplier are dragging their heals and have blocked our attempt to switch to a better rate with a new supplier. I can sense growing frustration amongst the ordinary folk in the street, it’s a melting pot. Shelves are more bare, made worse by panic headlines in the media. The cost of living is increasing, yet wages are stagnant. The government seems unable to get a grip on all that’s wrong - where is all the money going? Our local fields are being built upon - our beautiful village of 2,000 dwellings will soon increase to 3,000 plus. This is repeated across our part of East Anglia. Selfishly, I wonder where I’ll walk the dog, whilst also knowing that my DC won’t be able to live locally due to the cost of housing. Don’t get me started on GP’s and the lack of appointments.

For the first time, I feel fear about the future. Am considering escaping the South and moving North to reduce our cost of living and maybe enjoy a slower pace. Am I just having a down day or do you feel it too?

Will a new government make it better?

OP posts:
3scape · 12/10/2021 15:33

I get it. Although I think hedgerow s and those wild flower verges are probably the only attractive thing left in the UK. As I wasn't born in the UK I'm fairly sure most of the population would be glad for me to fuck off. Not that I strictly have a "home" country. There are worst countries, of course, but is that a selling point?

Sillawithans · 12/10/2021 15:34

Move to Ireland op.

Some of these responses are quite bitchy. There's less of that here.

mustlovegin · 12/10/2021 15:41

Our local fields are being built upon - our beautiful village of 2,000 dwellings will soon increase to 3,000 plus

Any other political party would be a lot more lax with uncontrolled immigration, so the overbuilding and tax increases would be a lot worse

I go for a walk and I just see overgrown hedgerows and weeds everywhere. Footpaths are becoming impossible to negotiate due to overgrowth
This is likely due to climate change activism, not a Conservative forte.
In London there's No Mow May and for a while everything looked like a tip. I understand the need to protect pollinators, etc, but this is a step too far and is only attracting vermin.

Shelves are more bare, made worse by panic headlines in the media
This is a temporary adjustment due to Covid and (perhaps?) Brexit teething issues. It will pass. Not everyone is seeing empty shelves, mind you

FatBettyintheCoop · 12/10/2021 15:41

You’re not wrong OP.

I felt the same when DS was a baby so 7 years ago we moved to coastal/rural Ireland and it’s been the best thing we ever did, and especially so during Covid lockdowns as we now have a large modern 5 bed house on 2 acres for the price of our old 3 bed in southern U.K. town. More importantly, we have a wide new circle of friends and DS is thriving in his village school.

Don’t sit there feeling wistful, research your options.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/10/2021 15:43

You can wear what you like, go where you like, leave the house without a male chaperone's say so, drive a car, get an education, have a job etc etc

Fairly low bar for a Western democracy, isn't it? I mean there are a few countries with fuel in the pumps and food on the shelves where I don't need a chaperone!

I suppose it's the 'mustn't grumble, could be worse' of the 21st century.

PandoraRocks · 12/10/2021 15:48

Yeah, the UK is a shithole and that's why everyone wants to come here.Hmm. We need to stop building on green fields. End of discussion.
Didn't anyone hear the dreadful news about the UK 's massive loss of diversity? We're in the bottom 10 in the world.
Britain is a small island and we're full. Disappointing that Brexit hasn't delivered on drastically reducing immigration to the UK. There's much more space in France but of course they don't want to stay there.
The main problem is that there are too many people in the world and until someone grasps the nettle of population control then we're fucked.

londonmummy1966 · 12/10/2021 15:50

low bar for a Western democracy

The point was that the OP is lucky to live in a western democracy - sometimes it is better all round to count one's blessings and be grateful for what one does have rather than constantly hanker for the greener grass in some mythical utopia.

sst1234 · 12/10/2021 15:52

Agree. This is what the 70s must have been like in this country, as the sick man of Europe.

MatildaIThink · 12/10/2021 15:53

I think that other countries do a lot of things better, but that does not mean I want to live there as family and friends are all here. I think we as a country should learn from the countries that do things better, take the best, integrate those things into our society and improve them. Unfortunately it seems to be that we are taking the worst and making it worse.

REDHERO · 12/10/2021 15:53

I wish we could vote in a better government, that would help. We don't seem to help ourselves.

There are bank positive things about this country though and some lovely people.

REDHERO · 12/10/2021 15:53

Many not bank

fourminutestosavetheworld · 12/10/2021 15:53

It is a bit gloomy at the moment op. I'm not sure there's much good news around and I definitely sympathise. But I think it sometimes helps to think of the things we are lucky to have, and to remember that this is a global pandemic event which has negatively affected every country in the world. Some people are only just realising that unlocking is causing as many problems as the pandemic itself but I'm old enough to know that it is all cyclic and will pass. On the whole, society is in a better position now than at any other point in history.

mbosnz · 12/10/2021 15:55

I understand how you're feeling, OP.

For me, it's exacerbated by feeling that those who have the responsibility and the authority to deal with the current woes befalling the UK's population, seem neither to have the inclination, nor the ability, to actually try and grapple with them.

It makes it hard to have faith that things are going to get better any time soon.

And most people in the UK deserve so much better, in terms of governance. People who know what it's like to have to have fuel to get to work, because if they can't get to work, they don't get paid, so they can't pay the ever increasing prices for bare necessities if they happen to be on the shelves. . .

I don't get the feeling that the fellas in charge go to the supermarket their very own selves, that much. . .

Things are worse in some other countries. How low do we want to set the limbo bar?

ElvisPresleyHadABaby · 12/10/2021 15:55

The Uk has one of the worst nature regression rates too, almost half of our biodiversity is lost, which is staggeringly poor. Like really terrible.

Hargao · 12/10/2021 15:56

When I referred to a slower pace of life, my perception of that is having less congested roads (and less aggressive driving) and therefore reduced travelling times as well as finding that people have more time to stop and talk - less busy shops for example, and having time to exchange pleasantries rather than a growing queue behind you huffing and puffing!

I'm curious where in East Anglia you are and what you think "The North" is. You clearly haven't driven on the ring road in York at rush hour!

debwong · 12/10/2021 15:58

@londonmummy1966

Oh that far greener grass overseas...

I really wish people would count their blessings occasionally.

You live in a liberal democracy where, if your fellow citizens agree with you, you'll be able to vote out the government at the next election

You can wear what you like, go where you like, leave the house without a male chaperone's say so, drive a car, get an education, have a job etc etc

Your home isn't at risk of being bombed and you are highly unlikely to be shot down on a street corner

You live in a country where extremes of weather are not a regular occurrence

Things may not be going all your way but actually we're pretty damn lucky to live where we do.

Absolutely.

I sometimes wonder whether the people who write these UK-knocking threads have ever lived overseas.

mbosnz · 12/10/2021 15:58

@Hargao

When I referred to a slower pace of life, my perception of that is having less congested roads (and less aggressive driving) and therefore reduced travelling times as well as finding that people have more time to stop and talk - less busy shops for example, and having time to exchange pleasantries rather than a growing queue behind you huffing and puffing!

I'm curious where in East Anglia you are and what you think "The North" is. You clearly haven't driven on the ring road in York at rush hour!

Ye Gods, we had to do that recently! About as much fun as a heart attack!
debwong · 12/10/2021 15:59

And what's wrong with overgrown hedgerows?

Pazuzu · 12/10/2021 16:02

Midlands here. Shelves are pretty much ok (hard to say at the local shop as I think they've assassinated the fridge repair guy so it's never working), petrol is freely available and Amazon still deliver next day.

If Londoners want to come here, good, they may bring jobs and investment with them. We've even stopped worshipping oatcakes (although we do still sacrifice them with bacon and cheese offerings)

Anonymice1 · 12/10/2021 16:03

Shelves are more bare, made worse by panic headlines in the media
This is a temporary adjustment due to Covid

No it’s not, the rest of us has also had covid and we don’t have your problems.

mbosnz · 12/10/2021 16:06

Having said my piece sympathising with the OP though, there is much to love about the UK. It's a beautiful country with fabulously accessible heritage, architecture, and history.

There are so many lovely people in it, head down, arse up (who have come from many different places, as well as being born and bread in the UK), just doing the best they can - nothing like an impromptu chat in a pub or supermarket to reinforce that - or a chinwag with the postie!

There's (if you can afford it), accessibility to foodstuffs that are hard to get elsewhere, like wild venison, boar, etc.

It has beautiful seasons, and Brits are wonderful at getting into the spirit of things, and going all out, like Christmas, New Years, Halloween, Bonfire night. . .

It's just that sometimes it gets a bit hard to distract oneself from the very real worries, that many people are labouring under, and some far more than most.

RunningOnFumes · 12/10/2021 16:08

I understand, OP, its pretty depressing at the moment (and I am speaking as someone who can remember the 70s and 80s). We have considered moving abroad, but need to be around for aging parents, so it's no go. One of the worst things I think is what a divided and angry country we have become - I suppose the "fuck off if you dont like it" responses are one example of that!

Pythonista · 12/10/2021 16:08

There are so many lovely people in it, head down, arse up (who have come from many different places, as well as being born and bread in the UK), just doing the best they can - nothing like an impromptu chat in a pub or supermarket to reinforce that - or a chinwag with the postie!

Also you aren't actually expected to do the impromptu chat if you don't want to Grin

mbosnz · 12/10/2021 16:09

@Pythonista

There are so many lovely people in it, head down, arse up (who have come from many different places, as well as being born and bread in the UK), just doing the best they can - nothing like an impromptu chat in a pub or supermarket to reinforce that - or a chinwag with the postie!

Also you aren't actually expected to do the impromptu chat if you don't want to Grin

Too true! Grin

But I do enjoy it when people do.

Pythonista · 12/10/2021 16:11

The 'fuck off if you don't like it' responses are there because there is thread after thread moaning about the country. So you have three options:

1 Fuck off if you don't like it

  1. Have a revolution
  2. Do your best to change what you can