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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay off school and work anyway?

95 replies

jesscakess · 12/10/2021 07:40

DH has tested positive for Covid. DS has symptoms and I don't. We have both tested negative. Current guidelines say DS should go to school and I should go to work as normal and we just keep testing. This feels bonkers to me. Surely we should be isolating? I'm double jabbed and work in a busy open plan office. I don't have the option to work from home.

AIBU to make up my own isolation period, based on the old guidance?

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 12/10/2021 07:44

Is with LFT or PCR? If DS has symptoms you could keep him off by saying he is ill.

Would you get paid if you isolated without a positive test?

rrhuth · 12/10/2021 07:44

The guidance is ridiculous, I agree. We have such an ongoing high level of cases and deaths, and the government does nothing.

What symptoms does your DS have? You could tell school he is unwell anyway on account of his symptoms.

I don't know what you should do about your work, won't you get in trouble if you don't go in?

Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 07:49

DH had neg LFT and pos PCR. DS and I have both had neg PCR as well as neg LFT. DS is a bit of a school refuser lately, not to drip feed, but I honestly feel uncomfortable sending him in with symptoms and a positive case at home. I can't believe this is actually the correct guidance!

OP posts:
Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 07:51

I won't get paid for work if I don't go, but I'm also in my notice period so don't care if it pisses them off. I can honestly say I'd be livid if I knew someone was coming in to work when their OH was positive. It feels inevitable that I will catch it from him.

OP posts:
Iggly · 12/10/2021 07:51

It is the correct guidance yes.
I’ve written to my MP about this.

I would use LFTs on my child daily if I were you in the morning before school. Best you can do?

UmbilicusProfundus · 12/10/2021 07:55

Irrespective of what you choose to do, I don’t think you can be livid with people for following the official guidance, especially when people don’t get paid if they don’t work.

Niconacotaco · 12/10/2021 07:57

I’m not sure I agree with the guidance but it’s not inevitable that everyone in the house catches it. Most families I know have had at least one person in the house that dodged it somehow

rrhuth · 12/10/2021 07:58

@UmbilicusProfundus

Irrespective of what you choose to do, I don’t think you can be livid with people for following the official guidance, especially when people don’t get paid if they don’t work.
I agree.

You can however be absolutely livid with the government, who are quite happy with excessive levels of death, disability and disease.

girlmom21 · 12/10/2021 07:58

Some schools will mark it down as an unauthorised absence if you've got a negative PCR.

Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 07:58

We've done another LFT this morning. Thing is DH's was neg, with very obvious symptoms. We booked him a PCR test a few hours later and that tested positive. So I don't trust the LFT at all now, not even an indicator really.

OP posts:
whittingtonmum · 12/10/2021 07:59

If DS has symptoms I would definitely keep him off school. I would repeat the test you have done for him - both lateral flow and PCR.

Tickly · 12/10/2021 08:02

You could always show work a pic of a positive lft that your DH does. There is press re neg PCR and pos lft about so it is feasible. Not honest I realise but at least you're not off spreading it - I agree it's bonkers.

MinnieMountain · 12/10/2021 08:06

LFT isn’t supposed to work if you have symptoms though. It’s to catch non-symptomatic cases.

Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 08:11

@MinnieMountain

LFT isn’t supposed to work if you have symptoms though. It’s to catch non-symptomatic cases.
I didn't know that.
OP posts:
DoorbellsSleighbellsSchnitzel · 12/10/2021 08:11

The whole having to make a decision at 730 every morning is driving me crazy at the moment. I've been positive for a week. Both children have had coughs, snotty nose, temperatures at various points. Daily LFTs which are negative, a PCR middle of last week and another booked tonight. No doubt they E both hot colds, which I'd usually send them in with, but I'm trying myself up in knots every morning worrying about how much school they're missing Vs "getting in trouble" for sending them in with coughs etc. It's exhausting.

AuditAngel · 12/10/2021 08:13

DD1 started symptoms on a Saturday evening. She had a friend with her all that day, and overnight. Sunday morning she got 2 positive LFT’s. Friend then started coughing too. Friend’s mum takes both for PCR (I was away) DD1 positive, friend negative.

As DD1 is positive DS and DD2 take tests the next days (ordered postal tests as unable to get nearby appointments) also positive.

Friend finally tested again the day DS and DD2 get positive results.

I kept DD2 home as I misunderstood the guidance, good thing for school as she didn’t spread it.

Pottedpalm · 12/10/2021 08:18

@MinnieMountain

LFT isn’t supposed to work if you have symptoms though. It’s to catch non-symptomatic cases.
Ours ‘worked’ when we showed symptoms. Positive result in a couple of minutes.
HalfwomanHalfcookie · 12/10/2021 08:19

@MinnieMountain

LFT isn’t supposed to work if you have symptoms though. It’s to catch non-symptomatic cases.
It's not that it doesn't work, just that there's a chance a positive could be missed. Three members of my household have had positive lateral flow tests with symptoms. Also, of course you may catch it, but it isn't inevitable.
Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 08:19

I've decided to keep us both home today and say to school that DS is negative but has symptoms and too unwell to go to school. Hopefully that won't be an unauthorised absence. I will then truthfully tell work I'm looking after DS as DH is too unwell to look after them both. And I'll book another set of PCR tests for tomorrow.

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 12/10/2021 08:23

According to NHS Scotland you should not use a lateral flow if you

  1. have symptoms
  2. Are self isolating
  3. Have had Covid or a positive PCR test (even if no symptoms ) in past 90 days
Howshouldibehave · 12/10/2021 08:27

I can honestly say I'd be livid if I knew someone was coming in to work when their OH was positive

I would have to come into work and teach classes of 30 at very close range if my DH was positive, whether I liked it or not. If you were ‘livid’ with me, I would be most unimpressed.

Try being livid with the government instead.

StealthPolarBear · 12/10/2021 08:35

Lateral flows have qyite a high chance of missing a positive.
They shouldnt give a false positive.

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 12/10/2021 08:43

A negative pcr and a negative lft combined with a school refuser - I'd send him in. Especially since you won't be paid either.

It's not inevitable that you will get it at all. Are you going to keep him off 10 days on the off chance?

Your DHs lft didn't show because he had symptoms maybe.

LazyDaisy22 · 12/10/2021 08:49

I agree, the guidance of sending children to school and parents to work when there are positive cases in the family seems ridiculous. And this is why cases are rising. I think you’ve done the right thing for today OP but you’re left with having to make the difficult decision each day for the rest of the week.

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