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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay off school and work anyway?

95 replies

jesscakess · 12/10/2021 07:40

DH has tested positive for Covid. DS has symptoms and I don't. We have both tested negative. Current guidelines say DS should go to school and I should go to work as normal and we just keep testing. This feels bonkers to me. Surely we should be isolating? I'm double jabbed and work in a busy open plan office. I don't have the option to work from home.

AIBU to make up my own isolation period, based on the old guidance?

OP posts:
GreenLakes · 12/10/2021 10:14

I would also add OP that you may well be fined for truancy if you keep your DS off.

DH is a headteacher and has begun dining parents who go against the guidance and force their DC to miss school. They will also be referred to the education welfare officer and possibly social work services.

Ivchangedmynameforthis · 12/10/2021 10:22

My DS has tested positive on a lft. I have stayed off work today purely as I have been under the weather since sat and I work with extremely fragile amd vulnerable people. We have all been for a PCR test this morning and assuming I’m negative will return to work tomoz with mask and sanitiser. Dd however has gone to school today as normal as she has no symptoms. Absolutely crazy set of rules.

BoredZelda · 12/10/2021 10:24

If anyone in my house was sick with Covid, we’d all stay at home. Every single household I know has had every person ill with it. We have the luxury of being able to WFH though. Not sure what I’d do if that wasn’t the case.

BoredZelda · 12/10/2021 10:27

DH is a headteacher and has begun dining parents who go against the guidance and force their DC to miss school. They will also be referred to the education welfare officer and possibly social work services.

Social services wouldn’t care. I’d let them fine me.

MrsR87 · 12/10/2021 10:43

@jesscakess

I won't get paid for work if I don't go, but I'm also in my notice period so don't care if it pisses them off. I can honestly say I'd be livid if I knew someone was coming in to work when their OH was positive. It feels inevitable that I will catch it from him.
You can’t be livid with people if they are following the official rules! I’m sure some people would prefer to stay at home if their partner is positive because common sense prevails but they may not get paid by their employer and in these rather crappy times, for a lot of families, every penny counts! If you need to be livid, be livid with the people making the rules. I’m about to return to work as a secondary school teacher after mat leave. So far I’ve managed to avoid COVID but I’ve accepted the fact that with the vast majority of my classes having 36 pupils…I will probably contract it in the next few weeks.
NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 12/10/2021 10:45

"If anyone in my house was sick with Covid, we’d all stay at home. Every single household I know has had every person ill with it."

That hasn't been the case for the families I know though and could mean whole months at home for your DC who might remain negative. Surely it's better that they go to school?!

girlmom21 · 12/10/2021 10:45

@GreenLakes

I would also add OP that you may well be fined for truancy if you keep your DS off.

DH is a headteacher and has begun dining parents who go against the guidance and force their DC to miss school. They will also be referred to the education welfare officer and possibly social work services.

Your husband is a tosser.
SoupDragon · 12/10/2021 10:46

@BoredZelda

If anyone in my house was sick with Covid, we’d all stay at home. Every single household I know has had every person ill with it. We have the luxury of being able to WFH though. Not sure what I’d do if that wasn’t the case.
And yet most households I know did not have everyone ill with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ mine included.
Rosebel · 12/10/2021 10:52

There's no guarantee you'll catch it. Last March my husband and youngest daughter caught Covid and both were quite ill.
Somehow me and my eldest avoided it and we weren't exactly distancing from them either.

rrhuth · 12/10/2021 11:12

@GreenLakes

I would also add OP that you may well be fined for truancy if you keep your DS off.

DH is a headteacher and has begun dining parents who go against the guidance and force their DC to miss school. They will also be referred to the education welfare officer and possibly social work services.

Decent schools do not move directly to fines. Your DH must be a shit headteacher.

And social services! For what? You're making things up.

Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 12:35

@Howshouldibehave

I can honestly say I'd be livid if I knew someone was coming in to work when their OH was positive

I would have to come into work and teach classes of 30 at very close range if my DH was positive, whether I liked it or not. If you were ‘livid’ with me, I would be most unimpressed.

Try being livid with the government instead.

I didn't say I would be livid with the person. It's bonkers and makes no sense whatsoever that just because we are double jabbed ourselves, we are expected to go in to work/school and potentially infect others who might not be.
OP posts:
Parker231 · 12/10/2021 12:39

One of my friends is having a nightmare. One of the DC’s got Covid and obviously was off school. She and her DH had to take time off work to be at home with them. The other DC’s tested negative and carried on going to school. Now another of the DC’s has got Covid and they are having to take time off work again. She is dreading the remaining two DC’s getting it and more time off work.

Saucery · 12/10/2021 12:45

Individual Headteachers can’t issue fines, the LEA/Council take the decision to prosecute, so no one needs to worry about that untrue and alarmist comment. Hmm

Original poster
jesscakess · 12/10/2021 12:52

I've spoken to school. This is a little outing but we are in Trafford and have the highest rates of Covid in the country now. DS year group had 8 confirmed cases last week and it's a 2 form entry. The school know he tested negative and that the plan is to test again tomorrow. They have sent out a letter to all parents asking us to be mindful of testing on Day 3 when the virus is at its strongest, that many people are testing too soon and getting a false negative.

DH went out on Wednesday evening, started feeling ill Saturday afternoon and got a PCR on Sunday. DS symptoms started Monday so I think another PCR on Wed should be sufficient, if that is also negative then I will send him in. School know this and have agreed it's a sensible plan. I have no symptoms and am happy to go back in if DS can, but DH is in no fit state to look after DS if he's off.

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 12/10/2021 17:00

That hasn't been the case for the families I know though and could mean whole months at home for your DC who might remain negative. Surely it's better that they go to school?!

She can work remotely. It wouldn’t be whole months, it would be her being off for a couple of weeks.

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 13/10/2021 21:17

@BoredZelda ours got it one after the other. Followed by me who caught it in the last ones final day of isolation. Trust me, it was a whole month!

BoredZelda · 13/10/2021 22:58

ours got it one after the other. Followed by me who caught it in the last ones final day of isolation. Trust me, it was a whole month!

There's three of us.

And even a whole month, isn't "months". Certainly not worth risking the other kids or people at work with.

JustMarriedBecca · 13/10/2021 23:03

Guidance has changed here. Cheshire. Families with positive cases are being advised to keep children off for 5 days even if testing negative on LF and PCR. Cases are going through the roof.

LindaLooky · 13/10/2021 23:24

A doctor explained to me that the tests have a very small window to detect covid and someone in a positive household who has symptoms can probably assume they have covid. Makes sense but I know that doesnt help when explaining to schools and employers!

I recently cancelled meeting someone whose partner was positive but they weren't...sure enough they got positive test couple of days after my cancellation. I just think we should all be cautious.

I doubt I can avoid getting it forever though and that seems to be how government feel now too, hence abandoning so many rules.

GreenLakes · 14/10/2021 07:14

@JustMarriedBecca

Hopefully the government will intervene to stop that.

They have been very clear that local schools commissioners will step in to prevent schools and LAs keeping DC off school unnecessarily against policy.

tigger1001 · 14/10/2021 07:27

@jesscakess

I won't get paid for work if I don't go, but I'm also in my notice period so don't care if it pisses them off. I can honestly say I'd be livid if I knew someone was coming in to work when their OH was positive. It feels inevitable that I will catch it from him.
No point being livid with people following the guidance, especially if staying at home means no pay.

We were in that situation recently when my eldest tested positive. The rest of us had negative tests. Dp went to work as would not have been paid otherwise. None of the rest of us came down with it. Confirmed by pcr tests.

1happyhippie · 14/10/2021 07:33

Guidance has changed here in Cumbria too.
If a member of your household tests positive, dc need to isolate again and test after 5 days

Parker231 · 14/10/2021 07:36

Was talking to a friend last night who lives in Trafford,Manchester.
Their Council has had to introduce new measures as the numbers of cases are sky high. Large numbers of teachers and staff off work with Covid and affecting schools ability to function.

Secondary and primary staff and pupils are now being advised to wear masks when moving around the school premises and when doing drop off and collecting.

Last week there was a new policy asking parents to isolate their children for three to five days before taking them for a PCR test if someone in their household tested positive.

GreenLakes · 14/10/2021 08:18

I hope the regional schools commissioners will be intervening to make sure schools in these areas are not going against government guidance.

It’s not fair that DC in some areas are missing school unnecessarily while others are able to attend.

Parker231 · 14/10/2021 08:30

@GreenLakes - the schools in areas of high cases are taking the right approach. Children can’t go to school if they have Covid and neither can teachers, teach if they are off sick.