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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay off school and work anyway?

95 replies

jesscakess · 12/10/2021 07:40

DH has tested positive for Covid. DS has symptoms and I don't. We have both tested negative. Current guidelines say DS should go to school and I should go to work as normal and we just keep testing. This feels bonkers to me. Surely we should be isolating? I'm double jabbed and work in a busy open plan office. I don't have the option to work from home.

AIBU to make up my own isolation period, based on the old guidance?

OP posts:
ginswinger · 12/10/2021 08:52

Covid is ripping through our town and it's knocking down kids like skittles. My DD's school has quietly issued online learning, without guidance or suggestion you should stay away. I applaud this approach. I've called my DD in sick and plan to for the rest of the week.

Energy4You · 12/10/2021 09:07

Tbh I don’t think you can make your own rules because you think they are better than the government’s.

Nor can you expect people to follow your own rules when they are nit the government’s either.

If you can have an issue with the rules, take it with the government, your MP etc… not with your company, school or coworkers.

Energy4You · 12/10/2021 09:09

Btw I agree that it’s not inevitable that you will get it, nor that your ds actually has it. I know many families where only half of the people got it for example.

I’m wondering how you are going to cope with winter bugs, that will all look like covid but will just be winter bugs.
Will you stay at home every time? Will you keep your ds at home every time?

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 12/10/2021 09:16

"Covid is ripping through our town and it's knocking down kids like skittles. My DD's school has quietly issued online learning, without guidance or suggestion you should stay away. I applaud this approach. I've called my DD in sick and plan to for the rest of the week."

Has your daughter tested positive? What does "knocking them down like skittles look like"? Most kids are asymptotic, mine were apart from one who said they had a headache, sorted with calpol and not another complaint. Same for their classmates.

rrhuth · 12/10/2021 09:17

@Energy4You

Btw I agree that it’s not inevitable that you will get it, nor that your ds actually has it. I know many families where only half of the people got it for example.

I’m wondering how you are going to cope with winter bugs, that will all look like covid but will just be winter bugs.
Will you stay at home every time? Will you keep your ds at home every time?

That's different to having a positive case in the house.

If everyone is negative, then it isn't covid as three false negatives is statistically so unlikely.

HalfwomanHalfcookie · 12/10/2021 09:20

@NigelSlatersXmasTaters

A negative pcr and a negative lft combined with a school refuser - I'd send him in. Especially since you won't be paid either.

It's not inevitable that you will get it at all. Are you going to keep him off 10 days on the off chance?

Your DHs lft didn't show because he had symptoms maybe.

What does your last paragraph mean Taters? The advice to take a PCR when you have symptoms is because it's a more sensitive test. It doesn't mean that lateral flow tests only work if you are asymptomatic, just that they may miss a positive case so shouldn't be relied on.
EatYourVegetables · 12/10/2021 09:21

If you can at all afford it, stay at home. Tell the school DS is ill, you are allowed ti keep a sick child home even if they don’t have covid. I assume WFH is not an option for you.

middleager · 12/10/2021 09:22

You clearly don't want to go to work - and I get that - so don't, but agree that you can't be livid at others for following official advice, no matter how batshit it is!

middleager · 12/10/2021 09:23

Incidentally DH has avoided Covid twice in our house now, even when two of us had it, so it's not a given you will catch it.

SoupDragon · 12/10/2021 09:26

DD had a positive PCR test and she gave herself LFTs whilst isolating (I don't know why!) and all showed positive. They are now showing negative 1 month after the positive PCR.

I do think the isolation advice seems strange now but I do understand that we have to start returning to normal. Also, neither DS nor I tested positive when DD had it so isolating would have been pointless. We did limit our exposure to others for the 10 days but only because it was easy to do so.

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 12/10/2021 09:27

"What does your last paragraph mean Taters?
The advice to take a PCR when you have symptoms is because it's a more sensitive test. It doesn't mean that lateral flow tests only work if you are asymptomatic, just that they may miss a positive case so shouldn't be relied on."

Yes, that's what I mean. Maybe his lft may have missed his positive case. Obviously it did.

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 12/10/2021 09:28

"DD had a positive PCR test and she gave herself LFTs whilst isolating (I don't know why!) and all showed positive."

I did the same and mine were all negative. However, my DS were like your daughter, all showed positive!

user1000000000009 · 12/10/2021 09:35

We had a similar situation.

Ds had to go to school because it would have been unauthorised absence.

siestalady · 12/10/2021 09:36

@SoupDragon

DD had a positive PCR test and she gave herself LFTs whilst isolating (I don't know why!) and all showed positive. They are now showing negative 1 month after the positive PCR.

I do think the isolation advice seems strange now but I do understand that we have to start returning to normal. Also, neither DS nor I tested positive when DD had it so isolating would have been pointless. We did limit our exposure to others for the 10 days but only because it was easy to do so.

what a shocking waste of LFTs
WTF475878237NC · 12/10/2021 09:37

You've done what I would do OP. The government guidance is just reckless. Hope your husband recovers well and you and your son remain negative.

Thefaceofboe · 12/10/2021 09:43

Try being livid with the government instead

This! Imagine being livid with someone who is following government guidelines Confused

HalfwomanHalfcookie · 12/10/2021 09:45

I agree Government advice does seem reckless, but if people are told to go to work or they won't get paid then they will go to work. Not everyone is fortunate to have the choice.

SoupDragon · 12/10/2021 09:53

what a shocking waste of LFTs

School hand them out by the box load. I suggest you direct your complaints to them.

SoupDragon · 12/10/2021 09:56

Once the box has been given to someone it is useless. You can't hand unused ones back and give them to someone else. I don't know what the expiry dates on them are.

HermioneAndRoger · 12/10/2021 09:58

@jesscakess

I won't get paid for work if I don't go, but I'm also in my notice period so don't care if it pisses them off. I can honestly say I'd be livid if I knew someone was coming in to work when their OH was positive. It feels inevitable that I will catch it from him.
It's not inevitable and YWBU to be 'livid'. What measures can you take to enable DH to isolate as much as possible from you and DS within the house? Can he sleep in the spare room (if you have one) or on the sofa? If you have more than one toilet, can he use this exclusively?
JudesBiggestFan · 12/10/2021 09:59

Which bit of living with it do people not get? The shelves are already emptying, we had a shortage of petrol a couple of weeks ago, presumably you want your kids taught and hospitals staffed? For the record, my middle son had it in the summer...none of us caught it. My husband had it last week, none of us caught it. It's not inevitable, my kids are little and none of us kept apart. Plus, the symptoms my son and husband were incredibly mild, as are all of the people's I know who've had it in recent months. The vaccines work. Send your kid to school, get to work, stop worrying is my advice! Unless you're very old and frail, the isolation period is the worst bit.

GreenLakes · 12/10/2021 10:00

No- DS needs to be in school and you need to be at work.

Did you keep your DS off if you/DH had flu as that is wheat we are now effectively dealing with?

SoupDragon · 12/10/2021 10:08

The shelves are already emptying, we had a shortage of petrol a couple of weeks ago

How are they relevant? Neither were to do with Covid.

StormyTeacups · 12/10/2021 10:08

Do what you like 🤷 my 11 year old is currently positive and coming to the end of her 10 days. She hasn't been ill at all, and the rest of the household hasn't caught it. We have still been working (well, I've had to be off a lot to stay home with her) and her siblings have been in school. They've missed enough and life goes on.

ChristmasCovid · 12/10/2021 10:14

There has been instances of false negative PCRs if your DS has symptoms I would keep him home if there is a case in the house & get another PCR test.

I ‘think’ this is what they were advising people in the SW who were getting neg PCRs after pos LFTs

I know it’s different in your case as neg LFT but if he has symptoms I’d be repeating the PCR

Hope everyone’s ok.